Lists - Things to Do

[sisabet]

This post has nothing of real interest, unless you are interested in a slightly neurotic person attempting to not forget to do really important things.




1. Box up all children's books and take to Cousin Julie - let child sort through them - put rest in trunk for Goodwill.

2. Make last offer of sectional to Cousin Julie. Goodwill is coming Friday.

3. Stop forgetting to feed the dog. Cheerios are not a proper meal.

4. Finish packing all books. You are not going to need to read more than 4 books between now and next week. You haven't read 4 books this year.

5. Resolve to read more books and less online slash. Check melymbrosia's LJ. Add Sean Stewart to list. Remember for the 50th time you want to read "The Bone Eaters" (wave to heres_luck). Wonder why you can never remember this when you are in a place that books are sold or lent.

6. Make a list of books you want to read and put it in your car.

7. Do not buy or borrow any more books until you move.

8. Finish reading "The Watchmen" - do not develop obsession with Ozymandias. Get past part of "Preacher" you are stuck on - tzikeh promises that Cass will come back and the whole cop subplot is going somewhere.

9. Stop falling asleep while reading. Realize that you could've have packed all of the books at this rate.

10. Wash every dish in the kitchen - even if you have to do some by hand. Pack up stuff you won't use this week. This means - if you haven't used it in the last 6 weeks, you probably will not need it this week.

11. Realize that this means all you should leave unpacked are a plate, a bowl, a glass, a wine glass, can-opener and corkscrew.

12. Remind yourself that sometimes you make pasta. Reserve a pan.

13. Do not panic. Panicking is for fictional characters you don't want to be like. Lana would panic. Don't be Lana. Be Brian Kinney.

14. Realize you tried being Brian Kinney and it did not work out. Resist feelings of resentment toward drdawn - you need to borrow her truck, now is not the time to not get along.

15. Decide you can be Xander Harris. He moved and everything went fine. Concentrate on being the Xander.

16. Wonder if you are Xander - does this mean you can have a Spike in your basement? Decide to ask Landlord if this would be allowed.

17. Check both banks' account balances. Stop calling the credit union about your savings. It is not any different today than it was yesterday. Realize that just because you concentrate really hard on it - you cannot make the amount increase.

18. Check into making savings account balances increase by use of positive thinking.

19. Stop panicking.

20. Start packing up hall closet. It is June and it is in the late 80's. It is doubtful you will need a coat or gloves or scarf or woolen hat in this next week.

21. OH SHIT - remember that you black wool coat is *still* at the dry cleaners and has been there since March. Hope they still have it.

22. Do not panic. It was just a coat. Would Xander panic?

23. Rethink the whole "I am Xander" approach to life as he may actually be too much like you to have any therapautic value.

24. Do not get sidetracked by the DVDs in your search to find out who you should pretend to be in order to get through the next week.

25. Realize that you are Bo Duke.

26. Acknowledge that your entire life has led up to this point.

27. Borrow drdawn's truck. Do not tell her you are Bo Duke, although the fabulous blonde hair may give it away. Also the carefree grin.

28. Wear a hat around your sister.

29. Realize that any attempt to pack DVDs or CDs will result in hours of lost time and plan accordingly.

30. Send audio mix to missmurchison for auction vid.

31. Crack open Miss M's skull and pour contents over auction vid. Stir. Garnish with nekkidity.

32. Do not panic.

33. Ask yourself "What would Bo do?"

34. Realize you are drinking Bud Light.

35. Realize that it is neither great tasting, no less filling.

36. Ask God, why has Bo Duke forsaken you?

37. Wait for a thunderstorm to do this. Try to be outside in the rain on your knees.

38. Relish the drama

39. Remember there is Turbo Dog beer in the vegetable crisper

40. Cheer up.

ETA:

41. Buy baking soda as there is nothing it cannot do.

42. Trust heres_luck implicitly.

43. Stop posting to Nummy Treat. You are only making yourself insane.

Comments

Hee!

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

I wish I'd been this charming and funny when I was where you are. I was mostly stewing quietly in my own juices by this point. But you find time to entertain us all!

Don't be the bunny.

Re: Hee!

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I started the list with every intention of making a very serious to-do list...and then it kinda devolved...like things do.

[luminosity]

Leave a paring knife out to open those pesky new CDs that you're going to buy because you can't bear not to during this last week.

Throw away the Bud Lite or give it to Dawn. Or Sid.

Stop panicking.

Continue to cheer up.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

yes ma'am :)

hee - I am in that manic distracted state that signals a potential collapse into depression. I need to remember what it is I do when I get like this.

[way2busymom.livejournal.com]

If you're being Xander...shouldn't you put buy donuts on the to do list?

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I knew I was forgetting something!!!

[way2busymom.livejournal.com]

Be sure to remember the jelly filled ones....

[coffeeandink.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking, "Brian Kinney? But if you're moving, shouldn't you be Xander?" when I hit that part of the list. I'd say you could be me, only that would mean you had more boxes of books to pack and even less inclination to pack them, so maybe you should be heres_luck and know how to do amazing things with baking soda instead.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

God, I think it would be easier for me to pull off being Brian Kinney than here's luck.

I'll just settle for hanging out in awe of her.

[7spoons.livejournal.com]

I love you.

I want to send you some books. Now, you can either tell me a few you've been meaning to read, and I'll see if I have them (or anything like them) lying around the office, or I'll pick a few titles myself by asking: What would Xander Bo Duke read?

I'm serious, okay? Housewarming. Also, what cd's can I burn you?

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

You, I love. I also think I would enjoy books that Xander would like. I think I may well be Xander without even trying... did you know that after Cappy was born, my parents gave her my room and moved me to the basement?

Here is where I told you not to bother with sending me a housewarming gift, but I deleted it because you are a grown fabulous woman and I am not here to be the boss of you. Even if you give me a sparkley plaque. We are saussabet and that is an equal enterprise.

CD's...hmmmm - do you have the Richard Ashcroft CD - the one between The Verve breakup and "Human Condition" - cause ya know I am one with the RA love.

[7spoons.livejournal.com]

I did not know you had been moved into the basement as a child, but now that I do, I feel like I've always known it. So: mystery Xander books + one burned copy of Alone with Everybody coming up. Do you need The Verve, too?

[whoisclothilde.livejournal.com]

several times. Heh. Good luck with all of this. I always liked Bo the best, plus it means not having to open your car doors.

Now, I realise this is not the perfect time for in-depth analysis of your oeuvre (oh yes, I spent several years studying literature just to be able to use that word) but wanted to comment on "Paradise". Which I love, naturally.

What I seem to be finding with vids is that I have to really watch one at a time and, like, many many times, to fully 'get' it. So, watching Paradise just now, I realised something that I'd kind of understood before but not really added up: all of Angel's people have died. I don't mean, like, the final battle (because I fully believe that Spike, at least, will definitely survive, and Angel and Illyria probably.) But it just sort of hit home to me why the end could *never* have been as upbeat as the end of Buffy.

One of the great moments in Chosen was where Giles, Xander, Willow and Buffy all talk about how they're going to go to the mall the next day. There's a beautiful continuity - the old gang's still together and so, basically, everything's going to be OK.

But Angel's gang's all gone. His original gang is gone - Cordy and Doyle are both dead. Even the next gang along is gone - Fred's dead, Wesley's dead, Gunn's pretty close to being dead. What I got from Paradise was his realisation of that. The whole show, he's been trying to save them, trying to protect them. And what seems to happen in those last few episodes is that he gives up that idea; unlike Buffy, he can't save them, can't keep them alive.

Buffy, as a show about teenagers, is all about staying alive - because the rest of your life is yet to come. It presumes that staying alive is *a good thing*. Angel, in this sense, is a more 'adult' show - in that it's about adults, people who are 'done baking'. At which point it becomes more important to allow your life to be fully consumed for something you believe to be worthwhile than just to keep on surviving.

See, this is what I love. The show actually seems *better*, deeper, more profound, having watched your vid, than it did before.

[whoisclothilde.livejournal.com]

Ummm... my post should have had a LOL at the front, before 'several times'. Just to clarify...

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Hee - yeah Bo is the shiznit. I assumed as a child that growing up automatically meant I got to marry Bo Duke.


What I seem to be finding with vids is that I have to really watch one at a time and, like, many many times, to fully 'get' it.

Absolutely - that is the mark of a good vid, it requires multiple viewings to really understand a lot of it. I am *still* finding things in vrya's Spike vid "Schism" that I missed. I love a good, meaty vid.

Aww - you understood my vid. YES!

But Angel's gang's all gone. His original gang is gone ...What I got from Paradise was his realisation of that. The whole show, he's been trying to save them, trying to protect them. And what seems to happen in those last few episodes is that he gives up that idea; unlike Buffy, he can't save them, can't keep them alive.

Oh, God - one of the basic tenants of Angel the Series is that it sucks to be Angel. My thoughts going into this vid were that Angel cannot keep anything he loves.... and well...in this respect he is no different than any of us.

::weeps for Angel::

We talked at length about the vid when I posted it (in the comments section) here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sisabet/138543.html

and one of the things that I said was "...what I was saying here - which is Once Upon A Time Cordelia walked into Angel's life and built him a family and a place in the world and he was loved. And then it all goes away. Like things do."

Before that - while I was making "Paradise" - which was incredibly painful and cathartic as well, because I channeled a lot of myself and my own grief into this vid - I made this post:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sisabet/133542.html

"But Angel was happy and I totally bought that having a child would be the thing that gave him that kind of contentment. He is emotionally stunted and only just now (circa S3) coming to terms with his feelings and his ability to express how he cared was awkward at best. He was learning, in a large part because of Cordy, because she forced him to be more open and was always upfront about her feelings as well. Her casual "I love you"s over the seasons were just great moments, mainly because that is just what Angel needs to hear, and he also what he needs to feel - not an erotic love, but a familial love - that he is valued and needed. He also needs to hear it in an easy, this is no big deal kind of way. His only other experience with being loved (since probably his childhood) was with Buffy and I don't want to get my self off-track (anymore than I already am) here, so I'll just say that much as Buffy is baking cookie dough -- Angel is just now being mixed. We have all the ingredients right here on the counter - someone needs to beat the batter, though. And - um, this line of thought is totally going to another place so new paragraph!

Anyway - Connor is something that Angel can love wholeheartedly. He can pour everything he feels into caring for his child and there is no awkwardness (beyond first time parent neurosis and I adored that Angel took his baby to the pediatrician because he heard a strange sound) no uncertainty in how to care for his kid, because Angel was a Daddy. Now, I am certain the perfect happiness thing might have reared its head at some point in Connor's childhood, but maybe not. Kids are pretty bratty and then you have to worry about them all the time. I think Angel has established himself as an internalizer - he would worry and turn that inward and brood on it and that may have been just enough. There would have been conflicts for sure. I'm of a mind that most of Angel's parenting skills were developed watching 1950's and 60's television and when Ward Cleaver just didn't have the answers, Angel would be flummoxed. But none of this really matters now, because Angel did not get the opportunity to raise his son, losing him only a short time after his birth.


continued in next comment

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

continued from prev post

But we got to see him in that time, experiencing something he never thought he would have - or deserve. Angel was in a family. And - yes - he was in a family a long time before Connor was born - (complete with his own little teen-age drama queen out called season 2) - he knew this - but I don't know that Angel ever really *felt* that it was real before Connor. Connor made it permanent. Connor was the link Angel needed to the family. I don't think Connor made Angel belong to the group any more than he already did, but I think that is exactly what Angel felt. Then it was gone. It has all been downhill from "Sleep Tight" - with attempts at recovery.

I, as an unabashed Angel fan, pretty much like him all the time. I like him broody, I like him wet, I like him goofy, I like him confused, I like him in pain and I like it when he winces because Cordy is ruining his clothes. But, I am touched when I see the end scene from "Provider" - He and Cordy are lying on the bed, Cordy is holding Connor's bottle and he is between them and they are talking and falling asleep as they talk and the camera pulls back and that scene just gets to me now. I see it as being very representative of how Angel feels in this time - it looks warm. That scene looks safe. It feels like it has captured that moment between sleep and awake - that really cool calm moment - and yes! That is what it looks like. I am glad that we get to see Angel have this, even if it means now he doesn't.

That is the crux of it, at least for me right now in the frame of mind I am in, that is all Angel wants and it isn't that much to ask. He's never going to get it, and if he does, well then he is never going to keep it, and we know this because, well - It Sucks to be Angel, but really - does anyone ever get it? Seriously - think about it: all you really want is to belong, right? Have the people you care about nearby and safe (and now I want to explore Firefly and Farscape with that in mind and should probably tackle heres_luck the next time I see her online) and know that is not going to change. But you won't ever get that either. At least not permanently - it will never last as long as you want it too."

[whoisclothilde.livejournal.com]

Zowie. That's some stuff you said there.

Re: families and so on. Of course, Angel killed his own family, and then Buffy killed him. I'm struck by the fact that he and Connor have never killed each other, though. It would have been pretty easy, in the Buffyverse. Connor could have sent Angel to hell in some way instead of locking him in a box. They could have had an even more heart-rending moment than the end of Buffy S2, where Connor becomes such a threat to humanity that Angel's forced to kill him. (In fact, that's where I thought they were going with Angel S4.) But they both find a way to keep the other alive, just away from *them*. And I guess that's what you're saying about permanence; they both recognise that, whatever happens, they're going to have to keep on wrestling with this relationship. Just like life.

Complete side point: I do think, though, that a lot of Buffy's *issues* can be traced back to her having to kill her first serious boyfriend. I think it's v. significant that she can only tell Spike she loves him (and yeah, Spike, she does love you. Maybe not the way you want her to love you, but she does.) when he's about to die, of his own free will, to save the world. Ie, at the point where she understands that *she's* not going to have to kill him, so can allow herself to feel what she feels.

Anyway... good luck with all the moving. I recommend Neil Gaiman's Sandman, if you haven't read it, as something that Xander would probably love. And Bo Duke would enjoy the pictures. Oooh, and Alan Moore's Swamp Thing.

[heresluck]

I have to confess that there are things baking soda cannot do. It cannot, for example, make mix CDs. However, *I* can make mix CDs, so I think we've still gotcha covered.

After reading your list, I think I may be upgrading "mix CD" to "full-scale care package."

And yes, stop posting to NT. You have done enough for one 72-hour period. You have been a tower of strength and a beacon in the wilderness. The rest of the evil bitches can take it from here. *g*

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

But! But! But! We might be able to take back the list!! Although, if you noticed - I got dangerously close to a smackdown today. Of course it could not have happened to a more deserving person...

::grumbles::

And Care Package!! YAY!

[missmurchison.livejournal.com]

You should move more often--you're so funny about it. (And, no I don't really mean that. I wouldn't wish that on you! Moving is hell, and you're proving you're divine by keeping your sense of humor.)

And much as I'd like that mix, judging by the fact that I'm still at work now, I won't be able to listen to it really soon, so don't stress over it. In fact, I forbid you to stress over anything.

yes, I am spamming your inbox with hugs

[permetaform]

::hugs:: ::hugs:: ::hugs:: ::hugs::

also? you're hilarious. =) it's good to know you.

[litalex.livejournal.com]

I was never organised enough to even write a to-do list. Wow.

Anyway, I was mucking around and came across your interest list. What's the significance of "saint brian kinney"?

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Brian Kinney is a character on the US version of Queer as Folk (I apologize if that is your fandom - I have spread myself to thin on the fandom front and can never remember who is doing what now. Especially cause so many people fandom jump like me).

A while back I did 3 posts where I analyzed all of the Season 1 thru 3 eps to determine evidence of Brian's impending Sainthood. This was pre-S4.

The last post is here with links to the 2 preceding: http://www.livejournal.com/users/sisabet/63423.html

[litalex.livejournal.com]

oh, i'm so in the QAF fandom; i started back when there's only the UK QAF, LOL. But it's all right, there are far too many people in it.

you mind if i give a link to your posts to another qaf (chinese) forum?

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Aw - now I see the Brian Kinney icon so there is no doubt - sure go ahead and link!