sisabet | Entries tagged with vvc

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Day 18: Where do you get the most inspiration for your vids from?

If I understood how this inspiration the works, I could streamline the process so much. Basically two things normally have to happen: I love a source so much that I want to crawl up inside it and wallow. Secondly? I get really obsessive with music. If I am obsessed with a song, sometimes I can't stop listening to it -- it is sad but in my younger years if I liked a song? I'd drive it into the ground and eventually ruin it for myself.

Now I'll listen to a song that I am becoming stuck upon until I figure out what it is about. Hopefully, the song is about a fandom I am already in - but if it isn't, I will track down other people to try and make the vid happen. Sometimes? I'll watch a show because I figure "this song might work." I need help.

Huh. Basically the answer to this question is "I'm an obsessive fuck."

Day19: When you have vid ideas, do you sit down and start vidding right away, or do you write down the idea for further exploration later?

Depends? Okay, so I am in my car and alone and this is where MOST of my ideas happen. I'm in my car and I've got a song on repeat and I am obsessed with this song. Eventually, I will figure out the song's vid-purpose (at least for me). If the stars align correctly, the vid's potential fandom will also be a current love.

So, if that happens? I won't start vidding immediately -- but I will go into hyperdrive, listening to that song and vidding it in my head virtually all the time, chiefly while I am driving. I will miss exits. I will automatically drive to the wrong place. I will take the long way home. I become very very strange if these things are all connecting and at a certain tipping point, I will start making the vid.

If the vid is something I can possibly delay? I will delay it until I have a deadline looming or I come home drunk. Sometimes, I can't stop myself but over the years I have gotten very very good at "I'll do this later" and being able to shift the obsession over three feet. I'll add the song to my "to vid" playlist and hope that I don't forget the idea. Sometimes I do and I'll have to ask greensilver or sweetestdrain why I have this song in the playlist and hope I've discussed the idea with at least one of them.

I no longer storyboard (I think I stopped doing that in my first year of vidding, actually) and any notes I make, I'll just lose. So, I get by on the strenth of other people's memories.

Day 20: Do you ever get ideas inspired from other people's stories, vids, or art in the same fandom?

Usually, if Luminosity is vidding, it makes me want to vid. I don't know why, except she reminds me why I think this is a fun hobby? Otherwise, yeah I think other fannish works are all really important and very inspirational to me. There is really nothing better than settling into a nice, meaty vid and surrounding yourself with amazing fanfic to have at the ready when Premiere shuts down, or you are exporting. I get all nostalgic just thinking about it.

Without fanfic I am postive the following vids would not exist: "Without You I'm Nothing," "Bad Romance," "Baby," "Here It Goes Again," "Peacekeeper," "Icebound Stream," "Alone," "Crazy In Love," "Turn You Inside Out," "Falling for the First Time," "Best Laid Plans" - probably, at least a lot on my part - Lum was sending me soooo many fic recs at the time, and "Weeping Willow."

The easiest way to pimp me into a fandom is to show me a solid, interesting, well made vid. If it hits my bullet proof kinks, then I am a goner. If it piques my interest, I am a goner. However, if I am vidding or am gearing up to immediately vid something? I am physically unable to watch other people's vids in that fandom until mine is finished. If I cave and watch? I will most likely be killing my project. Sometimes I can't even watch any vids at all when I am vidding because the stupid mental "I SUCK" mantra is very easy to start.

Art can sometimes just make me stare. For hours. And eventually I will gorge myself on fanfic and if the perfect song happens to occur right then? Nothing can stop me from making a vid. Not even ~~Photoshop~~ Paint.

Day 21: Sequels: Have you ever created a sequel to a vid you made, and if so, why, and if not, how do you feel about sequels?

I love sequels. I have a ton of sequels planned for vids and in the case of Bad Romance, I have a trilogy. I am ridiculously excited about that, btw - because once the Bad Romance trilogy is finished, I am gonna stop making any other vids and just spend time remastering the Bad Romance vids.

Eventually I will have the technology to make the comic book Lex's eyes blink. Digitally. It will be amazing. Oh, and I'll want Jabba the Hut to appear in the first vid to add continuity to the others. I have big plans.

Day 22: Have you ever participated in a fest or a Big Bang? If so, write about your favorite experience in relation to one. Ifnot, are there any you've thought about doing? And if not, why not?

I love festivids so, so, so much. I kinda thought I would when the concept was floated because, as a vidder, I've always been a bit jealous of my friends who participated in Yuletide. It looked like so much fun! And you got to make a present for someone else that they specifically asked for and it was all about "I love this and you love this, too and YAY!" and and and... I don't write fic. Well... I mean, I have. It just didn't end well. That would not be a nice present!

But I can vid! And I love small fandoms! I offered to vid 219 fandoms last year, I get so excited about Festivids. I am not exaggerating. Imagine a small dog fed only cake all day long and then taken right OUTSIDE the dog park. That small pup will spazz less than me, over festivids. It is just that much fun. I also like that it offers something to engage me with fandom during what I like to refer as the VVC off season, because come March -- I am pretty much VVC focused until, well, September? And Festivids just plugs in beautifully right in there and it is JUST SO MUCH FUN and really great vids come out of it. It is just -- it is a great time to be a vidder and a vid watcher, frankly, and I meet the nicest people.

So yes. You should also do festivids this year -- nominations and signups coming soon!

Day 23: When you post, where do you post to? Just your journal? Just an archive? Your own personal site?

I always post, if I am going to post a vid, to my LJ. I very rarely cross-post to the vidding community or vividcon community because... okay, so I have some vid-self-esteem issues? And posting to comms kind of inflates those issues -- it is like "Hey lookit at me, I made a vid! It's over here!" and I start to freak out that people are tired of me or have no interest in me and I am stinking up everyone's flist waaaay too much.

I never think this about anyone else's crosspost. Just my own. In the past year I've tried to post to LJ, youtube and starting in the past few months, AO3. My website gets updated infrequently -- basically whenever greensilver gets tired of me not updating and does it herself. Which is what she did. And I don't know how to, like, fix it. It'll be fine.

Also, I have a dreamwidth account but I don't really use it yet.

Day 24: Betaing: How many betas do you like to use to make sure there aren't any major flaws in your vid? Do you have a Beta horror story or dream story?

Is this an offer to beta? Because I'm not even joking - I will FORCE this vid upon you. I am a champion foister!

I don't have a beta horror story other than the fact that my beta is really really super mean to me and then VIVIDCON STOLE HER!!! What really sucks for me is that I now have a version of her beta self in my head and she is even meaner than the real thing and SHE MADE ME LOSE RANDOM BATMAN in a vid and I really really liked Random Batman.

I have a group of people with whom I feel confident sharing vids when they are in that fragile developmental state -- they are smart people who can tease out a narrative from three clips set in darkness, and know exactly when to cheerlead. I haven't actually had a torturous, you must cut up this vid that you LOVE experience for years. I also suspect I peaked a long time ago, so I dunno?

A good beta can take a concept and an idea and can help you pare down the execution until it is crystalline and clear. And vidding, my friends, should not ever be subtle.

Lots of thanks to the usual suspects - this was actually the most low stress vid I've made since... well, last year.

Thistle and Weeds
song by Mumford and Sons

Fire cannot kill the dragon

Content Note: scenes of sex abuse/assault.

Download the 50 mb xvid file here (right click and save as)

Feedback is as essential as a Stark at Winterfell.

Okay, so here is the deal - officially I am "Choose not to warn" for my vids. I don't want warnings about my vids appearing in the program book or in the blurb or on the vid itself.

I am fairly confident when it comes to VVC, that at this point a lot of people pretty much know what they might be getting from me, but I was asked (nicely) in a comment elsewhere to explicitly state that I use vidding as a way to cope with secondary trauma. So yes. This is something I do.

I also used vidding as a way to cope with a lot of other stuff, because it is a creative outlet for me and something I've loved for many years. I look forward to making more vids and sharing them and enjoying this into the future.

I'm not a fan at all of the ticky box warning resolutions being bandied about - mostly because people are not ticky boxes and triggers? Can be very specific (or not!) depending on the person experiencing them. There is no One-Size-Fits-All (and I do have experience with this) when we talk about how people react to and cope with trauma.

Do I want someone to watch a vid I have made and be triggered? Absolutely not. Do I want to make sure that someone who has a trigger has information so they can make an informed choice about watching them? Yes. Do I think I can effectively decide what is going to trigger someone without their imput? Not really. I mean to an extent I think it can be somewhat useful in a broad sense, but I don't think I should be making the absolute call on what someone else might find triggering. I'd much rather that person, who is real and exists and isn't hypothetical, make that call.

So, I talked it over with

cappylicious and she's cool with me answering any questions about any of our vids (we have a number of premiering vids, apart and as collaborations, this year). Comments on this post are screened and will not be unscreened. If you want to just ask here, please leave an email address for me to use or indicate if PM will be acceptable (whatever makes you more comfortable, really). Anonymous comments are enabled - I won't be able to respond to them without unscreening so if you can leave a way for me to get the information to you (and an anonymous email account is fine) I'll get the information out as quickly as possible.

If you don't feel that you can discuss this/ask me/ email or whatever, I am perfectly fine being contacted by an intermediary or someone you trust to get this information to you. I hope we can all go to Vividcon and have a wonderfully wonderful time and finally get to really talk about, I don't know, maybe vids? I hear tell vids are really cool.

ETA: tl;dr version: Won't warn for vids in a program book but if you do need warning ask here (screened) or via email at sisabet at yahoo and I'll get that information to you.

God, I was so stressed out, I sat at the computer for an hour afraid to leave to just go PEE in case I would, I don't know, accidentally hit my head on something and black out and NOT GET IN.

*needs a drink*

Now, all I hafta do is wait on

cereta to email to confirm and OMG WHAT IF I DIDN'T GET IN?? I mean, I registered RIGHT when it opened and all but still. What if the server crashes? What if there is an earthquake in Chicago? What if I am blinded in a freak accident and have to have someone sit beside me at the Premiere show whispering "Now John is walking away. Now Rodney is putting his head down and WHOA explosion!" What if I have to fly????

I hate it when I build up anxiety. I am gonna go take a bath.

Current Mood: relieved

First things first:

piper47 - I did not see your IM until this morning - AIM has been opening and closing itself willy-nilly on me all weekend (more on that later). Yes - VVC deadline is today for ALL vids. The deadline is until Midnight either EST or CST. To be safe? Go with EST. Or just check out the FAQ at

vividcon, cause I really do not know what I am talking about.

Things to be grateful for:

I have friends like

sockkpuppett and

tzikeh and

kadymae and

mlyn. Lum and tzikeh for hand-holding and geek squad enabling and just general everything this weekend when my computer went KABLOOEY less than 32 hours before the VVC deadline. Kadymae of the gift of Birds of Prey and fangirl squee and M'lyn for the gift of due South Season 4. I have it on very good authority that Fraser gets the shit beaten out of him in Season 4 and I have already identified the potential footage for this by watching vids so I am very excited. I like my Mountie bruised and a bit bloody. Or in church. Ohh - bruised and bloody in church. That would be so freakin' cool.

So -

sweetestdrain - let me know when you are ready for S3 and we can then marathon the rest!

My computer bit the big one this weekend. It was an ex-computer. It was pining for the Fjords. Actually - not really - but my OS fucked up but good and there was much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth and at one point I had to look into the future and accept that there is a very real possibility that I will not be able to send any vid at all to this year's VVC. And it turns out that I am okay with that. I'm not happy about it, but I don't think that it would impede in my enjoyment of the con at all. Gah - I just want to be there. Actually having a vid is just icing and while I had hoped that my attitude was shifting in this direction - I am glad to have proof that this is my real and deep down feeling.

Luckily - thanks again to Lum and tzikeh, it looks like I will be able to get my premiere vid in on time. So yay! I am really thrilled. My computer works again and I think I have almost all of my data. These are good things.

Due to stress I watched A LOT of movies this weekend:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - I liked it well enough, but I had sufficient difficulty in believing in and also sympathizing with the premise and so it never really touched me the way I thought it could. I just... there was a scene with a man in the waiting room and he is holding a trophy and part of me wondered if this was his son's belonging and that movie - I'd like to see that movie.

American Splendor: I forget how much I adore this movie until I watch it again and everytime I am just thwapped upside the head with "OMG, I LOVE this movie!"

Anchorman: I lost it when WF started yelling "I freaking LOVE you!" and I never got it back. Just... Dude - STAY CLASSY!

Seabiscuit: Due to oversaturation of the Lexington market with this movie (everyone I know is like "I was an extra in Seabiscuit! It is the best movie eva!) I avoided this despite being interested in the subject and loving that little Tobey Maguire. I don't know if it was stress or hormones or what but I cried at 3 separate times during this movie and the last time I cried I couldn't even tell you what I was crying about. It is just... That horse had HEART y'all!!! I am a sucker for this - total and complete wimp. I am getting choked up just thinking about it now.

The English Patient: Psych! I didn't really watch this. I've actually never been able to sit thru this entire movie and I was flipping thru HBO and it was in its final minutes so I watched just to see what the hell happened and yeah - I still hate this movie. Like passionately hate. Like I read this story where it is Fraser's turn to pick the movie and he chooses this film and yeah - I can see that. He would. But dude - that is my personal dealbreaker. If someone loved me - really really love me - he would not do that to me, expect me to sit through this movie. I can't imagine... I'd rather sit through the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre with my eyes and ears completely open and my hands tied down and my head stationary so I can't look away (I am terrified of this movie) than sit through The English Patient. I'd rather have the numbing shots at the dentist office deep in the corners of my jaw than sit through that movie. I'd rather be a claims adjuster for the rest of my life than sit through that movie.

Now I am terrified that I will meet someone and fall in love and everything will be perfect and suddenly and without warning this movie will show up and ruin everything.