Updating is a Bitch, but Buffy is Not

[sisabet]

So I updated last night and where it went - no one knows. It's okay, I didn't cure cancer or bring about world peace with my words. I basically wrote about Buffy and said hi to my mom. Hi Mom.

Worked on my nephew's speech tonight. He is running for student council. If he makes it he will be the first member of student council in the family. I will be so proud. I was never elected to anything important. Dawn was homecoming queen, though. If that explains anything at all...Today was the boy's 13th birthday (also Tara's *sniff*) Dawn is kinda down (about the boy growing up, but she does miss Tara as well).

I had a nice IM conversation about Anime, slash, and tits...very relaxing. I got this incredible email from renenet that has made me vow - I swear it here- to provide more feedback to vidders to start with - and then I'll move onto some fanfic. Tomorrow.

My thoughts on Buffy: the woman is a saint. Her patience knows no boundaries. I would have so let crazy boy keep on smacking himself around. I would have also suspected him of trying to manipulate my emotions by threatening himself physically. My response would have been (and actually was when I was in a similar position come to think of it) "Maybe you should kill yourself so I don't have to keep putting up with your shit." But that is just the ever-present ball of sunshine that is me. And I can be a cold callous bitch. Hmm, transference much? Not me.

Here is where I don't understand the Buffy bashing: what does she owe Spike? Yes, she used him last year shamelessly - but he was a willing participant. He was not some shrinking violet and he did a fair amount of manipulating himself "When are you going to realize I'm all you've got," etc... She actually took charge - acknowledged that the relationship was unhealthy for her and broke it off in a very mature, adult way. I tend to just move out of town and leave no forwarding address - so I was very impressed with how she handled it. Go, Buffy!!! You know - you don't need someone's permission to dump them - it is not a mutual decision. She broke it off and was actually very nice to him at the wedding. She didn't want to know about his next dalliances - well that is understandable, who would in that position? Oh, and she wasn't happy he slept with Anya - again I don't think she is being unreasonable here.

Meanwhile, her ex can't let it go - he is following her, prodding her to get back together - She tells him to leave and he doesn't. He tells her that she belongs in the dark, like him. He threatens to tell her friends about their relationship. Finally when everything is out, he drinks himself into a psychotic state and decides that he will force her to feel - for him. His method involves literally forcing himself on her. I agree that it was totally out of character, and I like Spike as well as the next person - but this *happened.* Spike accepts that it happened - hell, man got a soul to atone for it. But how does this translate into Buffy owing Spike any notice at all? In the sense that he is a hurting creature - yes he may deserve some compassion. But I will not hold it against Buffy is she is a little impatient with her stalker ex-boyfriend. She seemed genuinely chagrined at his state in the basement in Lessons. She let him back into her house and tries to work with the man in the next episode (not to mention she goes back to the basement - looking for him). If she seemed a little ticked about the crazy act after the Ronnie fiasco - well, she may not have been in a trusting mood. Oh, and after he unloads a bomb - he's got a soul and it is torturing him and he did because of her she freaks and runs away. Well who wouldn't?

Yes, she goes back to ask for his help - when it is needed - to save lives- because that is what she does. Everyday. She saves lives. And it is hard and sometimes she has to dull her emotions because if she felt remorse for everyone she couldn't save she would not be able to save the next one (I understand Pediatric ICU Docs feel the same way - right Dawn?). And he did tell her he was there to help and to use him as needed. Bloodhound Spike may have been degrading but he served a purpose. They found the demon that was skinning people alive. He helped. Go team. I liked that he went catatonic last night - it was a realistic progression of his symptoms and I think we will soon start seeing an improvement in Spike's mental status, at the very least.

I also felt there was a softening in Buffy's attitude toward Spike in the basement. Yes, she was exasperated and was not exactly tender with him - but she was under a deadline - a girl was going to die and Spike was her last resort. She stopped Spike from channeling Tyler Durdin and that was nice of her. She told him about the other girl - the one that they could stop from being hurt. And Spike rose to the challenge. My heart swells with Spuffy love. And my heart never swells. Seriously - I saw "Ghost" when I was 13 and nothing...I felt nothing beyond boredom. Same thing applies to Tom Hanks movies. And I hate "Beaches" and "Steel Magnolias" -I watch and not a tear. I did get choked up when I was a kid at the ending of "Born Free" and I sobbed like a baby in the back of a theater at the end of "Big Daddy" - but I think that was more a seriously needing medication issue than a thawing heart problem. Plus, he loved that boy *sniff*.

In other news, Dawn is now channeling Lilah as way of dealing with a rough work situation. She also thinks she can turn every geeky nerd she sees into a hot Wesley. I am a little concerned about the modifications she has made to her palm pilot, but wlecome this as a positive change. Before the Lilah emulation began it was more like Catatonic!Spike at casa drdawn.

Comments

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it's not just me. I really hate the typical tear-jerker for trying to make me cry. Big emotions like that should never be forced - they should be the result of something real, true, and beautiful - like Anya's speech in "The Body." - I can't get through that without at least having to breathe deep.