Updating is a Bitch, but Buffy is Not
Oct. 17th, 2002 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sisabetSo I updated last night and where it went - no one knows. It's okay, I didn't cure cancer or bring about world peace with my words. I basically wrote about Buffy and said hi to my mom. Hi Mom.
Worked on my nephew's speech tonight. He is running for student council. If he makes it he will be the first member of student council in the family. I will be so proud. I was never elected to anything important. Dawn was homecoming queen, though. If that explains anything at all...Today was the boy's 13th birthday (also Tara's *sniff*) Dawn is kinda down (about the boy growing up, but she does miss Tara as well).
I had a nice IM conversation about Anime, slash, and tits...very relaxing. I got this incredible email from renenet that has made me vow - I swear it here- to provide more feedback to vidders to start with - and then I'll move onto some fanfic. Tomorrow.
My thoughts on Buffy: the woman is a saint. Her patience knows no boundaries. I would have so let crazy boy keep on smacking himself around. I would have also suspected him of trying to manipulate my emotions by threatening himself physically. My response would have been (and actually was when I was in a similar position come to think of it) "Maybe you should kill yourself so I don't have to keep putting up with your shit." But that is just the ever-present ball of sunshine that is me. And I can be a cold callous bitch. Hmm, transference much? Not me.
Here is where I don't understand the Buffy bashing: what does she owe Spike? Yes, she used him last year shamelessly - but he was a willing participant. He was not some shrinking violet and he did a fair amount of manipulating himself "When are you going to realize I'm all you've got," etc... She actually took charge - acknowledged that the relationship was unhealthy for her and broke it off in a very mature, adult way. I tend to just move out of town and leave no forwarding address - so I was very impressed with how she handled it. Go, Buffy!!! You know - you don't need someone's permission to dump them - it is not a mutual decision. She broke it off and was actually very nice to him at the wedding. She didn't want to know about his next dalliances - well that is understandable, who would in that position? Oh, and she wasn't happy he slept with Anya - again I don't think she is being unreasonable here.
Meanwhile, her ex can't let it go - he is following her, prodding her to get back together - She tells him to leave and he doesn't. He tells her that she belongs in the dark, like him. He threatens to tell her friends about their relationship. Finally when everything is out, he drinks himself into a psychotic state and decides that he will force her to feel - for him. His method involves literally forcing himself on her. I agree that it was totally out of character, and I like Spike as well as the next person - but this *happened.* Spike accepts that it happened - hell, man got a soul to atone for it. But how does this translate into Buffy owing Spike any notice at all? In the sense that he is a hurting creature - yes he may deserve some compassion. But I will not hold it against Buffy is she is a little impatient with her stalker ex-boyfriend. She seemed genuinely chagrined at his state in the basement in Lessons. She let him back into her house and tries to work with the man in the next episode (not to mention she goes back to the basement - looking for him). If she seemed a little ticked about the crazy act after the Ronnie fiasco - well, she may not have been in a trusting mood. Oh, and after he unloads a bomb - he's got a soul and it is torturing him and he did because of her she freaks and runs away. Well who wouldn't?
Yes, she goes back to ask for his help - when it is needed - to save lives- because that is what she does. Everyday. She saves lives. And it is hard and sometimes she has to dull her emotions because if she felt remorse for everyone she couldn't save she would not be able to save the next one (I understand Pediatric ICU Docs feel the same way - right Dawn?). And he did tell her he was there to help and to use him as needed. Bloodhound Spike may have been degrading but he served a purpose. They found the demon that was skinning people alive. He helped. Go team. I liked that he went catatonic last night - it was a realistic progression of his symptoms and I think we will soon start seeing an improvement in Spike's mental status, at the very least.
I also felt there was a softening in Buffy's attitude toward Spike in the basement. Yes, she was exasperated and was not exactly tender with him - but she was under a deadline - a girl was going to die and Spike was her last resort. She stopped Spike from channeling Tyler Durdin and that was nice of her. She told him about the other girl - the one that they could stop from being hurt. And Spike rose to the challenge. My heart swells with Spuffy love. And my heart never swells. Seriously - I saw "Ghost" when I was 13 and nothing...I felt nothing beyond boredom. Same thing applies to Tom Hanks movies. And I hate "Beaches" and "Steel Magnolias" -I watch and not a tear. I did get choked up when I was a kid at the ending of "Born Free" and I sobbed like a baby in the back of a theater at the end of "Big Daddy" - but I think that was more a seriously needing medication issue than a thawing heart problem. Plus, he loved that boy *sniff*.
In other news, Dawn is now channeling Lilah as way of dealing with a rough work situation. She also thinks she can turn every geeky nerd she sees into a hot Wesley. I am a little concerned about the modifications she has made to her palm pilot, but wlecome this as a positive change. Before the Lilah emulation began it was more like Catatonic!Spike at casa drdawn.
Worked on my nephew's speech tonight. He is running for student council. If he makes it he will be the first member of student council in the family. I will be so proud. I was never elected to anything important. Dawn was homecoming queen, though. If that explains anything at all...Today was the boy's 13th birthday (also Tara's *sniff*) Dawn is kinda down (about the boy growing up, but she does miss Tara as well).
I had a nice IM conversation about Anime, slash, and tits...very relaxing. I got this incredible email from renenet that has made me vow - I swear it here- to provide more feedback to vidders to start with - and then I'll move onto some fanfic. Tomorrow.
My thoughts on Buffy: the woman is a saint. Her patience knows no boundaries. I would have so let crazy boy keep on smacking himself around. I would have also suspected him of trying to manipulate my emotions by threatening himself physically. My response would have been (and actually was when I was in a similar position come to think of it) "Maybe you should kill yourself so I don't have to keep putting up with your shit." But that is just the ever-present ball of sunshine that is me. And I can be a cold callous bitch. Hmm, transference much? Not me.
Here is where I don't understand the Buffy bashing: what does she owe Spike? Yes, she used him last year shamelessly - but he was a willing participant. He was not some shrinking violet and he did a fair amount of manipulating himself "When are you going to realize I'm all you've got," etc... She actually took charge - acknowledged that the relationship was unhealthy for her and broke it off in a very mature, adult way. I tend to just move out of town and leave no forwarding address - so I was very impressed with how she handled it. Go, Buffy!!! You know - you don't need someone's permission to dump them - it is not a mutual decision. She broke it off and was actually very nice to him at the wedding. She didn't want to know about his next dalliances - well that is understandable, who would in that position? Oh, and she wasn't happy he slept with Anya - again I don't think she is being unreasonable here.
Meanwhile, her ex can't let it go - he is following her, prodding her to get back together - She tells him to leave and he doesn't. He tells her that she belongs in the dark, like him. He threatens to tell her friends about their relationship. Finally when everything is out, he drinks himself into a psychotic state and decides that he will force her to feel - for him. His method involves literally forcing himself on her. I agree that it was totally out of character, and I like Spike as well as the next person - but this *happened.* Spike accepts that it happened - hell, man got a soul to atone for it. But how does this translate into Buffy owing Spike any notice at all? In the sense that he is a hurting creature - yes he may deserve some compassion. But I will not hold it against Buffy is she is a little impatient with her stalker ex-boyfriend. She seemed genuinely chagrined at his state in the basement in Lessons. She let him back into her house and tries to work with the man in the next episode (not to mention she goes back to the basement - looking for him). If she seemed a little ticked about the crazy act after the Ronnie fiasco - well, she may not have been in a trusting mood. Oh, and after he unloads a bomb - he's got a soul and it is torturing him and he did because of her she freaks and runs away. Well who wouldn't?
Yes, she goes back to ask for his help - when it is needed - to save lives- because that is what she does. Everyday. She saves lives. And it is hard and sometimes she has to dull her emotions because if she felt remorse for everyone she couldn't save she would not be able to save the next one (I understand Pediatric ICU Docs feel the same way - right Dawn?). And he did tell her he was there to help and to use him as needed. Bloodhound Spike may have been degrading but he served a purpose. They found the demon that was skinning people alive. He helped. Go team. I liked that he went catatonic last night - it was a realistic progression of his symptoms and I think we will soon start seeing an improvement in Spike's mental status, at the very least.
I also felt there was a softening in Buffy's attitude toward Spike in the basement. Yes, she was exasperated and was not exactly tender with him - but she was under a deadline - a girl was going to die and Spike was her last resort. She stopped Spike from channeling Tyler Durdin and that was nice of her. She told him about the other girl - the one that they could stop from being hurt. And Spike rose to the challenge. My heart swells with Spuffy love. And my heart never swells. Seriously - I saw "Ghost" when I was 13 and nothing...I felt nothing beyond boredom. Same thing applies to Tom Hanks movies. And I hate "Beaches" and "Steel Magnolias" -I watch and not a tear. I did get choked up when I was a kid at the ending of "Born Free" and I sobbed like a baby in the back of a theater at the end of "Big Daddy" - but I think that was more a seriously needing medication issue than a thawing heart problem. Plus, he loved that boy *sniff*.
In other news, Dawn is now channeling Lilah as way of dealing with a rough work situation. She also thinks she can turn every geeky nerd she sees into a hot Wesley. I am a little concerned about the modifications she has made to her palm pilot, but wlecome this as a positive change. Before the Lilah emulation began it was more like Catatonic!Spike at casa drdawn.
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Mmmmm.... The sweet, sweet sound of reason!
Date: 2002-10-17 12:27 am (UTC)Thank you so much. I keep trying to articulate this and failing.
no subject
BRAVA!! TWO BRAVAS IN ONE WEEK FOR YOU. LOL
Yes. Yes! This is what I've been trying to say all along onlist, but it always just boils down to my own inarticulate defense of Buffy because the unreasonable Spike-obsessed fans *refuse* to see anything beyond her victimization of the 120-year-old, chipped serial killer, rapist (yes rapist--if not Buffy, nobody is gonna convince me that he wasn't one, because he is a #$@%^ vampire!), soulless, evil THING. Who's hot. Very hot. So much is forgiven if the mutable bad guy is hot.
And to add to the goodies, we can actually have it both ways. Yes, she did beat the crap out him. Yes, he did hurt her. Yes, she was depressed. Yes, he took advantage. Yes, she kept secrets. Yes, he threatened to tell them. Yes, he tried to force himself on her. Yes, she played yes-no games with him for so long, he went bananas. See?
Isn't this a fun game?
I've read (Okay--skimmed) a bunch of mail from Blabula Rasa (and other lists) since Tuesday's episode, and my mind boggles. These people who "have *had* it" with Buffy because she hasn't done some grand dramatic gesture to poor crazy Spike. What?! By Normal Again last year, I had had it with *Spike*. As much as I love the guy.
My mind boggles, I tell ya.
Okay, now I'll go get a cup of coffee and see if I'm any more articulate after an infusion of caffeine.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-18 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-17 07:09 am (UTC)Also, I've never seen Steel Magnolias, but Ghost and Beaches kinda leave me cold, too. I don't appreciate maudlin, deliberate emotional manipulation. Spike pulling himself together enough to help out, on the other hand, was wonderful. *sniff*
no subject
Date: 2002-10-18 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-17 08:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-17 08:31 am (UTC)saussy
Date: 2002-10-18 06:25 am (UTC)Re: saussy
Re: saussy
Date: 2002-10-18 05:10 pm (UTC)Of course I think "Bring It On" is one of the top 10 films of our generation...
Date: 2002-10-18 06:12 pm (UTC)Truth-seeking woman here. Don't feel bad about the movies- I actually had people think I was "heartless" for not crying at "Ghost", "Beaches" and "Titanic". Movies that make you cry are going to vary so much for people who analyze life. I cried like a complete loser after "Joy Luck Club", but then again I have HUGE mother issues and, quite honestly, was also undermedicated and living alone in Scotland where the sun came up at 9:00am and set by 4:00 in the afternoon.
Now I studiously try to avoid movies that are meant to make people cry.
If you want to see a good movie, see "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"- ask your sister- she liked it.
About the knitting, I put in a special request with Dr. Dawn for a soft, unicolor (burgundy, navy, something that doesn't show stains) blanket that would cover a queen size bed- though I will mostly use it to snuggle into the couch and get fat this winter. The closer to chenille, soft cotton, the better. (no "merino" wool, even though Dr. D thinks it's posh.) As far as my head goes, I've been having trouble with itchy hats on my balding head. I found one that looks like suede with faux fur inside- it's a little too "From Russia With Love", but it's soft and keeps my noggin warm. If the yarnage gets to be too costly, let me know what the damage is - and if it's not totally out there- I'll pay for it.
Love ya, TSW
Re: Of course I think "Bring It On" is one of the top 10 films of our generation...
Date: 2002-10-18 06:45 pm (UTC)I'll have to confer with Dawn about the blanket - maybe we can collaborate. I've not had much luck with chenille in the past - it's wormy. I have not been to the yarn store since my Vioxx ran out, but with the chill in the air - I think that is something I will gladly add to my list of things to do this weekend. I don't know if I can do a whole blanket - hands are getting worse - but if Dawn helps... and Cappy can crochet now...yes, yes I think it can be easily done. Especially for the worthy cause of snuggling with you on the couch.
Re: Of course I think "Bring It On" is one of the top 10 films of our generation...
Date: 2002-10-19 08:20 pm (UTC)What's going on with the hands? Some kind of arthritis or something? I got a definite "no" from Columbus- I might have to take you up on that whole communal living style you suggested. "Wormy" doesn't sound good- pick whatever you think will work.
It's cold here. I'd love to live somewhere that I didn't need sweaters in the winter. I think I've found a cool gift for you guys. Maybe it's cheesy. I don't know. Guess you'll have to visit sometime. (or when I'm unemployed, I'll come see you!)
Saw "Playing God" again. It's like a bad X-Files episode where Mulder is a surgeon. Cool soundtrack though.
Take Care, Truth seeking Woman - oh by the way, I think you should give the set-up a chance. You can always move and not leave a forwarding address if it doesn't work out.
Re: Of course I think "Bring It On" is one of the top 10 films of our generation...
Date: 2002-10-21 11:09 am (UTC)Heee- you know me too well. Since it looks like I will move soon I think it is high time I get a boyfriend.
Arthritis is getting worse, but it's manageable.
Come see me - or I'll come see you - whatever - it will be fun.