Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? SATAN!!!

[sisabet]

So - there is a lot to talk about today and I am late getting started talking about it so let's just dive right in, shall we?

First Up:

I discussed this briefly last night with Lum, but I for one was thrilled to see James Dobson attacking Spongebob Squarepants (as you all know, Spongebob hold hands with his best friend Patrick and this makes him gay). This brings Dr. Dobson (as he is so reverantly called) closer and closer to Falwell territory and as we all know (and if you didn't know, I am telling you)- Jerry Falwell is one step away from being so irrelevant he is Swaggert. He only shows up now as a figurehead on pundit-y shows now because he is so insane. He lost most of his power years and years ago because a grown man pointing at a small children's character called Tinky-Winky and screaming "Fag!" is just not dignified. He became the butt of the nation's jokes and that, my friends, is a great way to conquer an enemy.

Real people attacking pretend TV people is just never a good idea. Ask Dan Quayle about it. Heh - ask half the "OMG Buffy is such a bitch for being so mean to poor ickle Spike, I am so glad she gets beat up by the Ubervamp" people if saying that back then was really such a good idea? Buffy broke up with the dude she was sleeping with - how does that translate to "deserves to have the shit beaten out of her"? Murphy Brown was a professional woman with a job and a solid support network in her forties. She responded to an unplanned pregnancy by actually giving birth to and raising the child. Makes sense that the Vice President would blame her for teen pregnancy and dissolution of the family. Yes, it made sense to... well it didn't really make sense to anyone, now did it?

And now we have come full circle and we have sweet little idiot Spongebob and obviously he is not an appropriate character for children to watch on television as he holds hands with his best friend Patrick. Dude.

Let me get this straight:

1. Kids can't watch or read Harry Potter because witchcraft and magic is evil and of the devil. Cappy recently argued this point with one of her youth group leaders by pointing out that the Disney animated Cinderella also contains witchcraft and magic and yet the youth leader condemns Harry Potter (which she has not read) and buys Cinderella stuff for her little girl. Of course Cappy wishes now she never said anything because this woman went home and took all of her little girl's Cinderella stuff away and now Cappy feels terrible because this little girl really liked Cinderella.

Now, I have issues with Cinderella. Actually, my issues are more with Snow White and I have voiced them loudly since I was a small child and first saw the movie and I think I also embarrassed my mother at the theater.... so anyway back to the subject - All Magic, all references to the fantastical, all elements of any super-realism at all are now barred from children's stories for fear the child will become corrupted by Satan. Ooookay.

I am assuming "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" is on this list. Oh, "Charlotte's Web" should make the cut as well. Pigs cannot talk. I don't care how great they are. Pigs do not talk and spiders cannot spell unless the devil makes them do it.

If you let your child see "The Wizard of Oz" then that child is riding a flying monkey straight to hell! Good Witch of the North!! Why Jesus would put a Smack Down on Glinda just for daring to show up! You know, like Jesus does. With the smacking. I swear all of the book of Mark is just Jesus getting into one scrap after the other. That rascally son of god! Sigh. Oh well, Messiahs will be Messiahs and all that.

2. PBS is a tool of the devil. Sesame Street teaches tolerance and love across racial, social and religious lines and everyone knows that Satan loves some tolerance. Tinky-Winky and Bert and Ernie are just teaching your child what to wear to the gay bar! And that Big Bird, he is mighty suspicious with his bright yellow plummage and his proclivity toward nesting. He is on the list, my friends.

Big Bird: Tool of Beezelbub will be the next headlining story on the Focus on the Family newsletter. Y'all heard it here first. When this happens I want credit for calling it, like a fannish Drudge.

3. Children should not hold hands. Rather than allowing them ways to express affection and cooperation and just be kids, it is an insidious device of, you guessed it, Satan, to condition the children to become gay. Because that is just what does it - holding hands and watching TV will make you gay. It will also give a child a sense of belonging and love and security and we know how much Satan is for that.

Think about it - there is no need for a child to hold hands with Anyone! We have those leash like things to string around them now, they don't even have to hold hands with their parents anymore to cross the street. They can just be...walked across on their leash.

Just as Jesus intended.


So in this topsy turvy country, which is supposedly dominated by Christianity, I have to really stop and take a close look at what it means to be Christian in society today.

Apparently if you are a Christian then this just means you are against Abortions and Gay People. Magic is bad as well. Even pretend magic is bad because pretend is one step closer to being.

Of course these stances are all based on the teachings of Jesus and as we all know Jesus never said anything about retribution or compassion or tolerance or empathy or that by looking out for the least in society you are also looking out for him or that the appropriate response when someone slaps you is to turn the other cheek or that you should love your neighbor as yourself.

Hell no. Jesus wouldn't say that. Loving your neighbor might end in hand-holding.

Comments

[maggiesox.livejournal.com]

Lord knows Jesus didn't do any magic.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Well that is just the point here. Any use of magic, unless specifically attributed by the person performing the act as originating in God (as in god is merely using this person as a vessel to work his will) comes from satan.

Now, you and I might think that taking this very middle ages view of the world and applying it to worlds that are born in the imagination and exist only as fantastical creations might be a silly thing to worry about.

I know a lot of people who believe this. A lot. And I also know all about how misdirection works. These are not bad people at all. They are being manipulated into focusing on this and missing so much more. I feel sick thinking about it.

[elynross.livejournal.com]

I want to sig this whole post, just for that last line, but it needs the whole thing for context!

*adores*

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, I'm linking this in my LJ and a forum that I go to.

I wish I could write as eloquently as you when angry.

[cheesygirl.livejournal.com]

::holds your hand::

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

metaquotes.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Ack! I should probably spell/grammar check this thing if company is coming...

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

I love you.

from mom

[caphricacorn.livejournal.com]

am on cappy's laptop...if it turns out to be crappy that is the way i feel about this laptop...keyboard to small...takes forever...just remember to not oondemn all christians for what some are doing...not all of us are upset with spongebob...."all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" that is why Jesus came...for us to have a relationship with Him, not with other men or even with formal religion..but with Him...there are no degrees of sin..except that other people's sins always look worse....love you, mom

Re: from mom

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

Dear Sisabetmom

Oh, I don't think there's going to be any problem confusing Christians with the (un)Christians.

I think it's pretty darn clear that Sisabet's talking about the modern day version of the Pharasees and Saducees -- those who shout from the rooftops exactly how "Christian" they are but their behavior and actions are anything but.

[luminosity]

There's that entire Beatitudes thing as well. And the Golden Rule. And stuff. IMO, God's "army", if that term is to be taken seriously, will do its best work on its knees (not ha-ha funny). The fervent *prayer* of a righteous man availeth much. Doesn't say a damned thing about challenging the sexual orientation of cartoon characters.

Makes me think that even if God doesn't approve? He just ain't listening to those who pretend to speak for Him. They're going to have a lot to answer for because teachers are held to a greater responsibility.

[/preachy]

[melinafandom.livejournal.com]

What I find ironic as all get out is that Jesus is someone who used story and metaphor to teach and spread his message. So the entire idea of absolute biblical literalism is kind of missing the point in the first place, and the condemnation of all magical or fantasy stories -- choosing to see them as literal rather than metaphor -- is kind of missing the point in the second place.

And the Sponge Bob thing is just fucking stupid.

(Just MHO from over here in Heathen Corner.)

[abbylee]

When I was in high school, some of my friends held hands. Sometimes it would be two of us, sometimes three, sometimes more. It was just a thing that we did. I know the girls held hands with girls, and the guys held hands with girls, but I can't remember if the guys held hands with each other. No matter, my point is that it was completely platonic.

I had two teachers make mention of it. The school counsellor told my mother (who he knew socially) that I was obviously gay. My science teacher told me and my friend Jen that he liked seeing the way our group interacted because we took care of each other and it reminded him of his carefree youth. Bet you can't guess which one I think of fondly.

Since high school, friends from that particular group have moved far away. I miss it. I think people need more non-sexual physical interaction than we're allowed these days. Hand holding, hugging, even just leaning against someone while you're watching tv, it's all discouraged.

[kage-scupotea.livejournal.com]

I wandered over from metaquotes, but I have to agree with you. One of my best friends and I always used to hold hands when we were walking around together, and it was never anything more than platonic. We're both happily married to amazing guys, and still very close friends. Our friendship reminds me of the way things were years and years ago - even back to the "Anne of Green Gables" bosom friends/kindred spirits type of friendship.

[aisforamy]

I am SO adding this to my memories!

Let's not forget that Jesus himself was visited by Magi shortly after his birth - did they go to hell?

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love you.

But not with any icky hand-holding vibes. Ew.

My love is an innocent and pure love.

[elke-tanzer.livejournal.com]

I adore you, you know.

[spikewriter]

This is wonderful. I'm going to print it out and give a copy to my minister...who will laugh his ass off.

Just brilliant.

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

Last night Jon Stewart had Jim Wallis on, a Christian who's written a number of books regarding religion and politics, most recently God's Politics : Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060558288/qid=1106342127/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/104-0199196-7362318) and oh man, I got all sniffly because it was the first time in a long time I'd seen someone on TV speaking as a Christian who I thought actually had a clue about Christ.

I don't know whether I agree with with what he says his books because I haven't read 'em yet, but from the titles it at least looks like I can understand what he's saying, even if I think he's wrong. These other folks, the SPONGEBOB IS GAY brigade, I... it's like they're speaking some other language. I don't get them. Maybe I don't even want to :P

[beeej.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant. (was pointed here by sockkpuppett) I've posted a link from my LJ, I hope you don't mind. :)

[jennem.livejournal.com]

Found this following a link from a friend.

And dude....can we spam the internet with this?

[elistaire.livejournal.com]

omg. How come you make so much sense and the rest of the world is so looney?

from mom

[caphricacorn.livejournal.com]

Love the term God-follower...and I would consider it an honor to be Mommabet.

Re: from mom

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Hee - right now you just look like Cappy.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Spongebob is seven years old mentally. He'd just think 'Gay' means happy. Then he'd karate chop a rock

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Well, there is no room for innocence in our culture anymore. Sadly there is tons of room for karate-chopping rocks. Usually with a woman in a bikini behind the rock.

It is interesting to me, that the very people who bitch and moan the most about how very sexualized our world has become are also the same ones who insist on sexualizing the very few icons we have left that are actually pre-sexual, like Spongebob and Tinky Winky.

It boggles the mind.

from mom

[caphricacorn.livejournal.com]

I just heard on the news that now Bert and Ernie might be gay...what is going on ... this is going too far...no one is promoting a gay life style in these children programs,,,Bert and Ernie are not gay..,,but the facts are that some children have parents that are gay...is this how we show love (Christ's love) to them...wow, how inviting we must look ...what a mess when we turn even innocent children programs into a sexual debate...and yes I know they say it is about the web site not the actual tv programs and since I have not seen the web site I will refrain from making a comment...for now...does anyone know the web site...

[cattic21.livejournal.com]

Jesus reads LJ, and he is pleased. LLJ, kids.

[bethcarielle.livejournal.com]

*claps*

came here via <lj user="metaquotes">

[painfulblue.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

Via metaquotes. Awesomeness.