Whining. Also Massive Insecurity. Bit of Ego-Deflate. But Gift Certificates!!

I'm back at work. Dad is fine and Mom is now aware that we really like her medicated.

Apparently Cappy's fixation on the pure true love of Clark and Lex is all part of a thing where she just makes everything gay (according to my mom). Apparently this is part of some sort of "trend." Or maybe a phase. I just smile and nod.

Bit depressed and unenthused vid-wise right at the moment. Nothing deflates a vid in progress faster than a lukewarm reception and I really don't know what I was *thinking* taking what I had to show Cappy - or to show her any of the vids I am taking to VVC this year. Sigh, if it ain't CLex right now, she ain't interested, but now I am filled with ennui and doubt. It didn't help that everytime there was a tech change in the auction vid she would say "Did you mean to do that?" and she complained during "Paradise" that it was the longest vid ever and really only exists as a provider of popcorn breaks. Ack! Remind me to never ever never ever show her another Angel vid again. As in ever.

But now I have to determine just what critisms she made were valid and which ones were just bitchy teenager who I did not let drive my car that night.

I think she thinks if she just keeps at it, I'll only vid Smallville or QaF and damn, she is probably right. I am easily influenced. I just don't think Kanye West really works for either of those fandoms and hell, maybe he doesn't work for Angel. I thought he did and so did Dawn and Lum seemed into it, but now I just want to spend the day with my head under the comforter and not think about anything related to anything all day. Maybe read a book. A book without pictures. Except I have this job thing and all of a sudden I am doing a Great Job and the directors want to give me something to show their appreciation and MIXED SIGNALS MUCH??!! Apparently I can expect a gift certificate soon for Joseph Beth Booksellers (they asked my favorite store and I had a "Well, duh" moment), but I am still distrustful of this feedback as well. It is like Cappy is inhabiting the directors of my companies state operation.

Good news is that my manager is back. As in singular. As in I now have one single boss - one person to go to. She also had no idea what I was up to with doing the things for the other dudes while she was gone, but since I kinda like doing it, it looks like I will continue working someone else's desk at least through the end of the month. Speaking of, I need to get back to that.

(no subject)

Just to clarify my last post: I am only feeling a bit down and insecure. I'm not abandoning the Jossverse as a fandom at all. I haven't said everything I have to say there certainly, and also - I find that the more I think about Angel or Buffy, the more I *have* to say. So while I may be pretty much QaFed out (cause really - I can't think of anything about Brian and Justin that I might want to say, that I haven't already done) I'm still down with the Tall, Dark Clad Hunk of the Night thing. For like infinity. I'm just feeling sorry for myself.