![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sisabetI'm back at work. Dad is fine and Mom is now aware that we really like her medicated.
Apparently Cappy's fixation on the pure true love of Clark and Lex is all part of a thing where she just makes everything gay (according to my mom). Apparently this is part of some sort of "trend." Or maybe a phase. I just smile and nod.
Bit depressed and unenthused vid-wise right at the moment. Nothing deflates a vid in progress faster than a lukewarm reception and I really don't know what I was *thinking* taking what I had to show Cappy - or to show her any of the vids I am taking to VVC this year. Sigh, if it ain't CLex right now, she ain't interested, but now I am filled with ennui and doubt. It didn't help that everytime there was a tech change in the auction vid she would say "Did you mean to do that?" and she complained during "Paradise" that it was the longest vid ever and really only exists as a provider of popcorn breaks. Ack! Remind me to never ever never ever show her another Angel vid again. As in ever.
But now I have to determine just what critisms she made were valid and which ones were just bitchy teenager who I did not let drive my car that night.
I think she thinks if she just keeps at it, I'll only vid Smallville or QaF and damn, she is probably right. I am easily influenced. I just don't think Kanye West really works for either of those fandoms and hell, maybe he doesn't work for Angel. I thought he did and so did Dawn and Lum seemed into it, but now I just want to spend the day with my head under the comforter and not think about anything related to anything all day. Maybe read a book. A book without pictures. Except I have this job thing and all of a sudden I am doing a Great Job and the directors want to give me something to show their appreciation and MIXED SIGNALS MUCH??!! Apparently I can expect a gift certificate soon for Joseph Beth Booksellers (they asked my favorite store and I had a "Well, duh" moment), but I am still distrustful of this feedback as well. It is like Cappy is inhabiting the directors of my companies state operation.
Good news is that my manager is back. As in singular. As in I now have one single boss - one person to go to. She also had no idea what I was up to with doing the things for the other dudes while she was gone, but since I kinda like doing it, it looks like I will continue working someone else's desk at least through the end of the month. Speaking of, I need to get back to that.
Apparently Cappy's fixation on the pure true love of Clark and Lex is all part of a thing where she just makes everything gay (according to my mom). Apparently this is part of some sort of "trend." Or maybe a phase. I just smile and nod.
Bit depressed and unenthused vid-wise right at the moment. Nothing deflates a vid in progress faster than a lukewarm reception and I really don't know what I was *thinking* taking what I had to show Cappy - or to show her any of the vids I am taking to VVC this year. Sigh, if it ain't CLex right now, she ain't interested, but now I am filled with ennui and doubt. It didn't help that everytime there was a tech change in the auction vid she would say "Did you mean to do that?" and she complained during "Paradise" that it was the longest vid ever and really only exists as a provider of popcorn breaks. Ack! Remind me to never ever never ever show her another Angel vid again. As in ever.
But now I have to determine just what critisms she made were valid and which ones were just bitchy teenager who I did not let drive my car that night.
I think she thinks if she just keeps at it, I'll only vid Smallville or QaF and damn, she is probably right. I am easily influenced. I just don't think Kanye West really works for either of those fandoms and hell, maybe he doesn't work for Angel. I thought he did and so did Dawn and Lum seemed into it, but now I just want to spend the day with my head under the comforter and not think about anything related to anything all day. Maybe read a book. A book without pictures. Except I have this job thing and all of a sudden I am doing a Great Job and the directors want to give me something to show their appreciation and MIXED SIGNALS MUCH??!! Apparently I can expect a gift certificate soon for Joseph Beth Booksellers (they asked my favorite store and I had a "Well, duh" moment), but I am still distrustful of this feedback as well. It is like Cappy is inhabiting the directors of my companies state operation.
Good news is that my manager is back. As in singular. As in I now have one single boss - one person to go to. She also had no idea what I was up to with doing the things for the other dudes while she was gone, but since I kinda like doing it, it looks like I will continue working someone else's desk at least through the end of the month. Speaking of, I need to get back to that.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Date: 2004-07-22 07:59 am (UTC)Okay -- this is the thing. If it were you saying, "Look, I've been there and done that. I have nothing more to say. It was good, but I'm moving on. Bye-bye, Angelverse," then I would throw a private temper-tantrum with someone else on AIM, and in public I would act like a gracious adult human being who believes artists should work on what interests them and not what their fanbase has gotten used to. I would support you. I would watch your vids, even when they were for shows I didn't watch. I would love your vids, even when they were for shows I didn't watch. I would fail to send feedback for your vids. You know -- we would have our usual imaginary vidder-audience relationship, the one that exists only in my head, because it's not like I ever bother to tell you anything about it. (But, you know, I would be happy to show my appreciation by buying you a drink at Vividcon. Because nothing says thank you like alcohol.) The point here is, I would support this decision 100% (except for the private whining).
But if you're just moving on because Cappy is in a funk, lock Cappy in a room with her computer and tell *her* to vid Clex.
Re: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Date: 2004-07-22 08:02 am (UTC)Re: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Date: 2004-07-22 10:31 am (UTC)Re: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Date: 2004-07-22 10:40 am (UTC)Okay, then. Also, will buy you a drink.
EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-22 08:00 am (UTC)You're right--Kanye will not work for Smallville. For one thing, SV is one of the *whitest, white-bread* shows on TV, and to use anything that speaks so heartbreakingly of urban life would be wasted on SV--even if Clark and Lex move into a tenement in Metropolis. Now, Angel... on the other hand... Well, I think what you're doing is faboo.
Re: EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-22 10:38 am (UTC)I'm not listening to Cap anymore than it was just a bringer downer. I was hoping to not get the "eh" - I think the "eh" did in my wild enthusiasm. I am still enthusiastic, just not wildly so. I maybe coulda had her if there was more Illyria in the vid. There was only a teeny bit cause I haven't felt like properly mourning Fred just yet. Maybe tonight I will kill her off and throw her a mini Wake? That could be fun. I just think there is something that I need to be doing that I am not doing in this vid...
Re: EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-22 11:16 am (UTC)::swan::
::flying erasehead::
The vid's not done yet. Illyria can be crammed in there if you feel she's necessary to the plot, right? If there's not enough bling-bling in it, there's always the good use of an explosion or a spell.
If coffee_and_ink buys you a drink at VVC, then I'll buy one for her, and somebody can buy one for me, and we'll have a liquor-and-vidding daisy chain. One more reason to look forward to VVC--like I needed one.
Re: EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-22 11:37 am (UTC)But yeah - the whole "I know now/that we could racially profile" and the second chorus are all about Fred/Illyria and then we get into the third chorus which is season 5 with a focus on Gunn and I have to figure out a way to get Spike and Lindsey in there so the last chorus makes sense - so I'm bringing them into the second verse Angel POV part (I have Spike in on "Most Imitated" and I intend to use Lindsey fighting shirtless with the big freaking belt buckle for "Puffed up and Pimped out" cause I am finding the MORE literal I go with the Angel parts the heavier the emotional wallop when I back off the literalism. Well, to me. Also, "cheerleader prom dated" makes me laugh and laugh. It is funny because it is *true).
So I am hoping it won't be from out of the blue when in the third chorus I have Lindsey at "The shit just fly/Better fend for yourself" and I *have* to have some focus on Spike for the final chorus because the freaking source loves him there. He did give the best hand raise - no matter what his motivations were. And while that final chorus is laughably literal right now - I'm hoping to cut it in a way that makes the literalism moving rather than amusing.
God! I only want to make an interesting, current, edgey, funny vid that is emotionally devastating! Is that too much to ask?
Re: EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-22 12:12 pm (UTC)One wall, twenty plaques ... The Trial.
...shoulda been signed twice is there any question?
Don't even think for one SECOND that this isn't going to be fantastic.
Re: EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-22 01:23 pm (UTC)One waist etc is (I think) the gun club
OH - "One neck, two chains" -- the chains are Wes and Cordy
Right now for "Shoulda been signed twice" I have just a W&H office moment, because I was worried going to the end events too early on would make me lose effectiveness later on in using that footage and I also didn't want to get ahead of myself - I'm trying to pace the reveal there for Angel and hold back on a *lot* until "Fuck you, pay me"
Re: EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-22 12:39 pm (UTC)Ha! Got it in writing.
Re: EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-23 04:14 pm (UTC)Have I mentioned to you how totally psyched I am you're getting to come? I am! All of you. *g*
Re: EEK! cover your ears! don't listen!!
Date: 2004-07-24 11:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 08:26 am (UTC)Ignore those who don't get it. And don't feel bad -- my husband won't even watch my vids most of the time. *g* Hmm, funny, though. Yours, he likes. ;-) Maybe if I vidded Buffy...
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 10:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 11:47 am (UTC)What more can you do - *bleed* all over the vid? Oh, wait - you did that too. Sigh.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 12:16 pm (UTC)And yes, there are blood stains all over "Here."
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 03:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 05:29 pm (UTC)I'll vid Buffy the moment I have something to say that hasn't been said better. Since that's looking to be sometime around 3007, I'm safe!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 09:04 am (UTC)How about it?
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 10:42 am (UTC)Ah, the double-edged sword of feedback
Date: 2004-07-22 09:42 am (UTC)But with Cappy, I think it comes down to: is she representative of your intended audience? And, given she's a mostly-non-fannish teen who doesn't necessarily embrace vidding as a concept, I'm thinkin' not. The Vividcon audience will, I predict, be as ecstatic over your vids as ever: *we* are your intended audience, the people you (hopefully) had in mind as you created these vids. We're the ones who are going to lap 'em up with a big spoon.
I always get weird reactions when I show my vids to mundanes. I pretty much don't do it anymore unless I'm wildly confident about the work already.
Re: Ah, the double-edged sword of feedback
Date: 2004-07-22 10:45 am (UTC)Re: Ah, the double-edged sword of feedback
Date: 2004-07-22 10:54 am (UTC)Re: Ah, the double-edged sword of feedback
Date: 2004-07-22 11:24 am (UTC)Re: Ah, the double-edged sword of feedback
Date: 2004-07-22 03:54 pm (UTC)Re: Ah, the double-edged sword of feedback
Date: 2004-07-23 07:13 am (UTC)::collapses::
Also - I watched the vid with Dawn last night and I figured out that a big part of my depression with the vid right now has nothing to do with Cappy - it is because right now I am dealing with the fact that EVERYONE dies. And I haven't even grieved for Fred yet - and then there is Wes who I can't even think about. And Gunn by implication...so there is that. Part of this vid will just be an emotional dump of all my Angel Issues. I hope that if I edit it enough it might even be entertaining. We shall see...
So, what you're saying is,
Date: 2004-07-23 11:08 am (UTC)*g*
I grok where you are -- I was there when making "Beatitudes". All your angst about the show's ending and the various fatalities becomes angst about the vid.
Don't worry. You're undoubtedly going to deliver a very cathartic experience for a lot of us.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-23 07:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-24 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 06:11 pm (UTC)Also... I have no doubt in my mind that you'll ever fully walk away from Angel. So for the record... I wasn't worried. A little sad that you might never vid QaF again, but that's ok. I'll get past it. Really I will. ::sniffle::
no subject
Date: 2004-07-23 07:39 am (UTC)Yeah, unfortunately I really think I am done with B/J as a topic. Now, I haven't watched S4 yet - and I do have a S4 Brian song picked out, so maybe there might be a vid in that - it just really has to grab me a lot more than the show did up until ep 4x04 if I am gonna do it.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-23 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 08:15 pm (UTC)But you know, if those pesky lukewarm RL receptions are getting you down, we promise to be your cheerleaders. As long as you promise to keep vidding Angel and Buffy - and maybe Smallville, now that you've gotten me sucked into the stupid thing.
Linzee
no subject
Date: 2004-07-23 07:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-23 08:28 pm (UTC)cappy
Date: 2004-07-24 05:04 pm (UTC)Give in to your inner Cappy/Dawn and vid some more Clex/QaF...
Oh, and UB still wants the girl on girl from Bring It On...