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Best Laid Plans
Feb. 5th, 2004 11:12 amI cannot talk about last night's Angel. Yes, I loved the episode, but I just can't talk about it now. As far as the preview for next week goes: Um - I think I read that fic.
Smallville I liked as well - However, regarding the last scene: I need to be spoiled right now. If you have information - share. Cause I am freaking out over here.
I'm leaving work in about an hour to go look at apartments. I decided to take a half day today, which means that I am actually getting very little accomplished while here, because I am just watching the clock.
So Dawn bought a house. See, I knew this was coming - I just thought I had time - the earliest move date she had mentioned was end of March. So I thought I would have at least 4 paychecks to save, the trip to Chicago in which to relax, then come back home and find the perfect place to rent in my price range and with no sweat paying the pet deposit and the first and last months rent. I thought I might even be able to swing a sofa. Not a nice sofa, but a new one. One that matches Sid-the-dog-face-boy.
She called and told me yesterday that she closes on the house at the end of February.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
So now - I feel stress. I was stressed enough at the thought of moving and being in my own space, alone, for the first time in three years, but I was also kinda getting excited about it. I am very tired of being bossed around by more older sister and being the scapegoat of my teenage nephew's never ending angst. This way, the boy will be able to direct his growing pain issues toward the correct source: his parents, and I will be able to go back to being Sissy:Aunt Extraordinaire! I had a plan. A good plan. See - unlike Spike - I need a plan. I *have* to have a plan, I do not do well in spontaneous environments. I get hives. I have to have a plan and I need to stick to my plan and if I can just do that, then everything will be okay and I can relax and have fun. And the plan was solid and low-key: save the next few paychecks, look around the city, relax at [Unknown site tag]'s and then take time finding place. I was looking forward to this plan.
Now I need a new plan and I am formulating one, but it is gonna be so freaking inferior to the other plan that the entire time I am following the new plan, I will be mourning the loss of the old one. Cause the old plan rocked.
I tried to explain this to Dawn. She told me that my being upset about having to get a new plan was not normal and I should get help. I told her once I found a place, could afford it, move in and you know - get electricity and all that - well then I will have time to seek help. Bitch, telling me to get psychiatric help cause she is giving me less than a month to find a place to live. And it is February!!! This is the shortest month of the year and I don't even have all of it!! Plus, I am gonna be in Chicago for almost a week of it. And it isn't like I haven't been planning this trip since - well it was before Christmas, wasn't it? And it isn't like I go running off all the time - I haven't gone anywhere for more than 4 days since 19-fucking-97.
Crap - I think instead of apartment hunting, I am gonna stick to my original plan and catch a matinee. Because it is my freaking birthday and that is what I want to do. Also - I called the apartment complex we live in currently and they can get me into a tiny one bedroom if I can't find anywhere else. The dog likes it there...
ETA: On reread this appears to be nothing more than me whining - so ignore. I will. I have a firm policy about deleting LJ entries - so it stays. But this is not nearly indicative of my mood today. I am actually quite cheerful. See :)
Smallville I liked as well - However, regarding the last scene: I need to be spoiled right now. If you have information - share. Cause I am freaking out over here.
I'm leaving work in about an hour to go look at apartments. I decided to take a half day today, which means that I am actually getting very little accomplished while here, because I am just watching the clock.
So Dawn bought a house. See, I knew this was coming - I just thought I had time - the earliest move date she had mentioned was end of March. So I thought I would have at least 4 paychecks to save, the trip to Chicago in which to relax, then come back home and find the perfect place to rent in my price range and with no sweat paying the pet deposit and the first and last months rent. I thought I might even be able to swing a sofa. Not a nice sofa, but a new one. One that matches Sid-the-dog-face-boy.
She called and told me yesterday that she closes on the house at the end of February.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
So now - I feel stress. I was stressed enough at the thought of moving and being in my own space, alone, for the first time in three years, but I was also kinda getting excited about it. I am very tired of being bossed around by more older sister and being the scapegoat of my teenage nephew's never ending angst. This way, the boy will be able to direct his growing pain issues toward the correct source: his parents, and I will be able to go back to being Sissy:Aunt Extraordinaire! I had a plan. A good plan. See - unlike Spike - I need a plan. I *have* to have a plan, I do not do well in spontaneous environments. I get hives. I have to have a plan and I need to stick to my plan and if I can just do that, then everything will be okay and I can relax and have fun. And the plan was solid and low-key: save the next few paychecks, look around the city, relax at [Unknown site tag]'s and then take time finding place. I was looking forward to this plan.
Now I need a new plan and I am formulating one, but it is gonna be so freaking inferior to the other plan that the entire time I am following the new plan, I will be mourning the loss of the old one. Cause the old plan rocked.
I tried to explain this to Dawn. She told me that my being upset about having to get a new plan was not normal and I should get help. I told her once I found a place, could afford it, move in and you know - get electricity and all that - well then I will have time to seek help. Bitch, telling me to get psychiatric help cause she is giving me less than a month to find a place to live. And it is February!!! This is the shortest month of the year and I don't even have all of it!! Plus, I am gonna be in Chicago for almost a week of it. And it isn't like I haven't been planning this trip since - well it was before Christmas, wasn't it? And it isn't like I go running off all the time - I haven't gone anywhere for more than 4 days since 19-fucking-97.
Crap - I think instead of apartment hunting, I am gonna stick to my original plan and catch a matinee. Because it is my freaking birthday and that is what I want to do. Also - I called the apartment complex we live in currently and they can get me into a tiny one bedroom if I can't find anywhere else. The dog likes it there...
ETA: On reread this appears to be nothing more than me whining - so ignore. I will. I have a firm policy about deleting LJ entries - so it stays. But this is not nearly indicative of my mood today. I am actually quite cheerful. See :)
