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My Tremendous Suffering
Jul. 31st, 2003 03:01 pmI went to a real-live adult doctor type person yesterday and got a real live adult diagnosis. This is compared to me normally going to Dawn and asking, "What is this?" and Dawn going, "Maybe it's ___" and me responding, "Y'think?" and Dawn stating, "Actually, no. I don't know. I am not an adult doctor. Cheapass. Your co-pay is $20. Go see a doctor."
So I did. I have capillaritis. Which means that the brownish/red splotches on my legs that won't go away are actually caused by leaky capillaries. Ohhh. Glamourous, I know. Apparently I have some venous instability, but it is nothing to worry about. Totally benign. Oh - now there is nothing to be done about those hideous splotches either - they might fade in time. Good luck with that!
I've actually had this before when I was 13 - unusual to have it that young and the spots went away in a few months but it was very traumatic as I wanted to wear a skort to the 8th grade dance (shut-up! skorts were cool) and I was extremely self-concious about my legs. I didn't know it was called capillaritis - just that my capillaries were leaking. Again, this is the most glamourous thing evah!
So - just to be safe the doc does a biopsy - of all the lesions covering both of my legs, he picks one located on my upper thigh a few inches below my derriere. I mean - I sit there! Silly doc - now it hurts to sit, I have to lean. The nurse was explaining how I am to care for the stitch used to close the biopsy site and I'm all - "But I can't see it!" and she is all "Sure you can!" and I'm all, "No - there is ass in the way."
Actually I never said that - I just said, "Um, okay." and left to go to the lab for the bloodwork. There was ass in the way, but I don't think she would believe me. Plus - I have mirrors. Technology people. Technology.
Now all that remains to be seen is who will play me in the Lifetime Movie... I think Lindsey Wagner is probably too old, but I'd go with her if I could be the Bionic Woman with Capillaritis.
So I did. I have capillaritis. Which means that the brownish/red splotches on my legs that won't go away are actually caused by leaky capillaries. Ohhh. Glamourous, I know. Apparently I have some venous instability, but it is nothing to worry about. Totally benign. Oh - now there is nothing to be done about those hideous splotches either - they might fade in time. Good luck with that!
I've actually had this before when I was 13 - unusual to have it that young and the spots went away in a few months but it was very traumatic as I wanted to wear a skort to the 8th grade dance (shut-up! skorts were cool) and I was extremely self-concious about my legs. I didn't know it was called capillaritis - just that my capillaries were leaking. Again, this is the most glamourous thing evah!
So - just to be safe the doc does a biopsy - of all the lesions covering both of my legs, he picks one located on my upper thigh a few inches below my derriere. I mean - I sit there! Silly doc - now it hurts to sit, I have to lean. The nurse was explaining how I am to care for the stitch used to close the biopsy site and I'm all - "But I can't see it!" and she is all "Sure you can!" and I'm all, "No - there is ass in the way."
Actually I never said that - I just said, "Um, okay." and left to go to the lab for the bloodwork. There was ass in the way, but I don't think she would believe me. Plus - I have mirrors. Technology people. Technology.
Now all that remains to be seen is who will play me in the Lifetime Movie... I think Lindsey Wagner is probably too old, but I'd go with her if I could be the Bionic Woman with Capillaritis.
