QaF something or other - I don't know
Nov. 11th, 2003 08:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sisabetSo I don't write fic. We all know this. This has been established.
So this is not a fic. This is just an idea that I had that I played with yesterday with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wrenlet (also I totally stole a line of wren's for this - swipe, yep, she said it and I took it) and I've been adding to it and now - well it is something else. But not a fic. It is an idea for a wacky scenario that may happen and this is kind of how it is playing out in my head. It may have a name - but that does not make it a fic. I also know all major plot points now - but it is really not a fic. It's more of an exploration of plot. It is plotsploration Yes. I am okay calling it that. And it is obviously not betaed cause that would make it too fic-like. This isn't even a drabble.
So here is the first part of this thing that I call "One Week" - but it is not a fic. Just so we are all clear on that.
So this is how it begins:
One Week part 1/?
Saturday: Day One
Brian woke up. Actually Brian didn’t so much wake up as his bladder screamed at him to locate the nearest bathroom. Now. Stupid demanding bladder. He rolled out of bed and briefly wondered why he wasn’t at the loft but shrugged off that thought as he walked to Michael’s bathroom.
A scream then pierced the early morning stillness.
"Where the fuck is the rest of my cock!"
And if this wasn’t cable this is when we would go to the opening credits and commercial. Since this isn't on cable, but in my LJ - I am a tradional girl. I like a teaser, then the credits. Welcome to my Queer as Folk.
So here is the theme song:
Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt
And we are back. And in the bathroom with Brian who is staring at his cock and trembling.
"Hey, there," Ben comes up and encircles Brian with his arms from behind whispering soothingly, "You're just sleep-walking. Come on back to bed before you wake Hunter"
Brian is not calming down. Breathing is hard.
"Michael?" Ben whispers, now worriedly.
Brian spins around, "What did you just call me?"
"Michael, you need to wake up."
Brian runs over to the sink and looks in the mirror, "Yes, I need to wake up." Brian looks at the reflection and Michael stares back. "Wake up!" Brian yells and slaps himself and in the mirror Michael’s face still stares back, but now there is a red mark welling up on his cheek.
"Michael!" Ben grabs both of Brian’s wrists. "Stop it!"
Brian yanks away from Ben and leaves the bathroom and begins pacing around the den. "This is not happening, there is no way this is happening. Oh, fuck me. Fuck, fuck, fuck, this is not happening."
"Michael, I have no idea what the hell is going on with you, but if you don’t calm down now, you will wake up Hunter."
Brian stops his pacing and looks up at Ben. He lets out a low moan and sinks into the couch dropping his head into his hands. Ben comes over and cautiously sits beside him.
"I’m not Michael."
Ben laughs, "Okay, boy-toy wonder. What is your secret identity today?"
Brian raises his head to glare at Ben, "I am not Michael and what the fuck are you talking about? Boy-toy Wonder? What the fuck is that about? Who fucking talks like that?"
Ben just stares at him. Brian continues, "I am not Michael, I am Brian. And I have no idea what the hell is going on right now."
"Ahh.." Ben scrubs his face with his hand and stands up, "Michael, I think…"
"Will you stop fucking calling me that! I’m Brian. And I must be tripping. Yes," Brian is relieved now and leans back into the couch. "That has to be it. I got a bad batch and somehow I am tripping right now and thinking that all of a sudden I look like Michael."
"Michael, I think maybe we need to see a doctor…" Ben begins talking again, this time very slowly.
"A doctor? No, I’ll be fine. Eventually I’ll sober up and probably not even remember this."
Just then the phone rings. Ben answers, "Hello. Justin... Oh... Well, yeah the same here actually. No, no calm down... No, I don’t think this is like that Jaime Lee Curtis movie at all. Actually I have no idea what you are talking about, what Jaime Lee Curtis movie?... Oh. Oh, you mean that Jodie Foster movie… No. No. I’m pretty certain it was Jodie Foster…Justin I don’t think it really matters. We have a situation on our hands," Ben begins to talk very quietly into the phone, "I think they are experiencing some kind of shared induced hallucination."
Brian could care less what Ben is saying. He is leaning back on the sofa trying to enjoy his trip. Of course, other than being in Michael’s body he doesn’t feel like he is tripping. In fact, he feels stone cold sober and well, that is something he hasn’t felt in months.
"I think we may need to take them to the hospital…Well, yes I know this is very strange, but I don’t know what else to do… No… No, don’t come here, I don’t want to worry Hunter just yet. We’ll come to the loft. Yes… Yes. We will be there is just a minute."
Brian is sitting up straight when Ben hangs up the phone.
"I’m not tripping."
"Michael, that was Justin. Brian is experiencing something, well, similar and we need to go over to the loft right now. Maybe we can figure this out."
"I’m not Michael."
Ben looks at Brian sadly. "It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you. I won’t let anything…"
Brian interrupts, "I. Am. Not. Michael."
"We need to go now."
"Ben," Brian takes his time with what he says next, "The third time I fucked you, after you came, you cried like a baby."
Ben pales, "Oh shit."
"That is what I am saying"
So this is not a fic. This is just an idea that I had that I played with yesterday with
wrenlet (also I totally stole a line of wren's for this - swipe, yep, she said it and I took it) and I've been adding to it and now - well it is something else. But not a fic. It is an idea for a wacky scenario that may happen and this is kind of how it is playing out in my head. It may have a name - but that does not make it a fic. I also know all major plot points now - but it is really not a fic. It's more of an exploration of plot. It is plotsploration Yes. I am okay calling it that. And it is obviously not betaed cause that would make it too fic-like. This isn't even a drabble. So here is the first part of this thing that I call "One Week" - but it is not a fic. Just so we are all clear on that.
So this is how it begins:
One Week part 1/?
Saturday: Day One
Brian woke up. Actually Brian didn’t so much wake up as his bladder screamed at him to locate the nearest bathroom. Now. Stupid demanding bladder. He rolled out of bed and briefly wondered why he wasn’t at the loft but shrugged off that thought as he walked to Michael’s bathroom.
A scream then pierced the early morning stillness.
"Where the fuck is the rest of my cock!"
And if this wasn’t cable this is when we would go to the opening credits and commercial. Since this isn't on cable, but in my LJ - I am a tradional girl. I like a teaser, then the credits. Welcome to my Queer as Folk.
So here is the theme song:
Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt
And we are back. And in the bathroom with Brian who is staring at his cock and trembling.
"Hey, there," Ben comes up and encircles Brian with his arms from behind whispering soothingly, "You're just sleep-walking. Come on back to bed before you wake Hunter"
Brian is not calming down. Breathing is hard.
"Michael?" Ben whispers, now worriedly.
Brian spins around, "What did you just call me?"
"Michael, you need to wake up."
Brian runs over to the sink and looks in the mirror, "Yes, I need to wake up." Brian looks at the reflection and Michael stares back. "Wake up!" Brian yells and slaps himself and in the mirror Michael’s face still stares back, but now there is a red mark welling up on his cheek.
"Michael!" Ben grabs both of Brian’s wrists. "Stop it!"
Brian yanks away from Ben and leaves the bathroom and begins pacing around the den. "This is not happening, there is no way this is happening. Oh, fuck me. Fuck, fuck, fuck, this is not happening."
"Michael, I have no idea what the hell is going on with you, but if you don’t calm down now, you will wake up Hunter."
Brian stops his pacing and looks up at Ben. He lets out a low moan and sinks into the couch dropping his head into his hands. Ben comes over and cautiously sits beside him.
"I’m not Michael."
Ben laughs, "Okay, boy-toy wonder. What is your secret identity today?"
Brian raises his head to glare at Ben, "I am not Michael and what the fuck are you talking about? Boy-toy Wonder? What the fuck is that about? Who fucking talks like that?"
Ben just stares at him. Brian continues, "I am not Michael, I am Brian. And I have no idea what the hell is going on right now."
"Ahh.." Ben scrubs his face with his hand and stands up, "Michael, I think…"
"Will you stop fucking calling me that! I’m Brian. And I must be tripping. Yes," Brian is relieved now and leans back into the couch. "That has to be it. I got a bad batch and somehow I am tripping right now and thinking that all of a sudden I look like Michael."
"Michael, I think maybe we need to see a doctor…" Ben begins talking again, this time very slowly.
"A doctor? No, I’ll be fine. Eventually I’ll sober up and probably not even remember this."
Just then the phone rings. Ben answers, "Hello. Justin... Oh... Well, yeah the same here actually. No, no calm down... No, I don’t think this is like that Jaime Lee Curtis movie at all. Actually I have no idea what you are talking about, what Jaime Lee Curtis movie?... Oh. Oh, you mean that Jodie Foster movie… No. No. I’m pretty certain it was Jodie Foster…Justin I don’t think it really matters. We have a situation on our hands," Ben begins to talk very quietly into the phone, "I think they are experiencing some kind of shared induced hallucination."
Brian could care less what Ben is saying. He is leaning back on the sofa trying to enjoy his trip. Of course, other than being in Michael’s body he doesn’t feel like he is tripping. In fact, he feels stone cold sober and well, that is something he hasn’t felt in months.
"I think we may need to take them to the hospital…Well, yes I know this is very strange, but I don’t know what else to do… No… No, don’t come here, I don’t want to worry Hunter just yet. We’ll come to the loft. Yes… Yes. We will be there is just a minute."
Brian is sitting up straight when Ben hangs up the phone.
"I’m not tripping."
"Michael, that was Justin. Brian is experiencing something, well, similar and we need to go over to the loft right now. Maybe we can figure this out."
"I’m not Michael."
Ben looks at Brian sadly. "It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you. I won’t let anything…"
Brian interrupts, "I. Am. Not. Michael."
"We need to go now."
"Ben," Brian takes his time with what he says next, "The third time I fucked you, after you came, you cried like a baby."
Ben pales, "Oh shit."
"That is what I am saying"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:01 pm (UTC)I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE WROTE THIS!
Oh my god oh my god oh my god, this was FUCKING FUNNY. You RULE.
"Where the fuck is the rest of my cock!"
BWAHAHA.
No, I don’t think this is like that Jaime Lee Curtis movie at all. Actually I have no idea what you are talking about, what Jaime Lee Curtis movie?... Oh. Oh, you mean that Jodie Foster movie… No. No. I’m pretty certain it was Jodie Foster…Justin I don’t think it really matters. We have a situation on our hands
*DEAD*
More, more more!
no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:05 pm (UTC)Is totally
lol
Date: 2003-11-11 06:09 pm (UTC)Re: lol
Date: 2003-11-11 06:24 pm (UTC)See- On a LJ day that saw the birth of Brian as Justin's step-brother!fic
Date: 2003-11-11 06:04 pm (UTC)Re: See- On a LJ day that saw the birth of Brian as Justin's step-brother!fic
Date: 2003-11-12 07:56 am (UTC)Re: See- On a LJ day that saw the birth of Brian as Justin's step-brother!fic
Date: 2003-11-12 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:13 pm (UTC)Now go not-write more. And make me a vid while you're at it.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:31 pm (UTC)Oh, also...
Date: 2003-11-11 06:18 pm (UTC)"Ahh.." Ben scrubs his face with his hand and stands up, "Michael, I think…"
This line? Perfect. This is the distinct Ben-voice and Ben-mannerisms that no other character has, and you totally captured it. In this line (and all the other ones too; this was just the one that struck me the most), you made me see Ben clearly. Fucking brilliant.
Please continue making this-thing-which-is-not-fic.
Re: Oh, also...
Date: 2003-11-12 07:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:24 pm (UTC)Ben pales, "Oh shit."
"That is what I am saying"
::snickers:: Priceless. Oh, lord, I don't care what you do or don't want to call this. It is fantab and funny and I want more, like now.
-E
no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:34 pm (UTC)Poor boys.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:46 am (UTC)And thank you so much!
::loves you back::
no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 06:53 pm (UTC)You, on the other hand, can, so do please. This is fucking FUNNY AS HELL.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 09:53 am (UTC)Fear of showing just how ignorant I really am keeps me from doing so.
And, of course, there's that pesky I CAN'T WRITE.
Heh.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 07:00 pm (UTC)Ben pales, "Oh shit."
"That is what I am saying"
*wheeeeeeeeeze*
Comedy gold. I am so proud :D *goes to see if "blaming Wrenlet" is an LJ interest yet*
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:47 am (UTC)Not a fic, eh?
Date: 2003-11-11 07:07 pm (UTC)Ben pales, "Oh shit."
"That is what I am saying"
LOL
::uses reverse psychology::
PLEASE STOP WRITING THIS NOT-FIC BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT!!
::hopes she will fall for it and write more::
::rubs hands together and laughs evilly::
Re: Not a fic, eh?
Date: 2003-11-12 07:48 am (UTC)So Not!Fic
Date: 2003-11-11 07:18 pm (UTC)Re: So Not!Fic
Date: 2003-11-12 07:50 am (UTC)I actually had to restrain myself from adding various camera angles and blipverts to the posted product.
Re: So Not!Fic
Date: 2003-11-12 09:01 am (UTC)LOVING this... this whatever it is.
Let's just call it Genius from Sisabet...
no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-11 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:51 am (UTC)LOL
Date: 2003-11-11 10:21 pm (UTC)Bwahahahaha
Date: 2003-11-11 11:11 pm (UTC)Re: Bwahahahaha
Date: 2003-11-12 07:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 12:00 am (UTC)I just hope there's more. Or isn't more. Um....
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 01:13 am (UTC)*DEAD*
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 08:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 08:51 am (UTC)But some of it makes sense - yes, culture icon staples he knows, but some things slip through the cracks and while someone born in the seventies might take it for granted that everyone on the planet knows about Mikey and that he'll eat anything - it really only captured a tiny moment of pop culture attention, albeit a lot of attention. Whereas Justin would be absolutely shocked that Brian has never heard of Dangermouse.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 03:12 am (UTC)I think I'm in love with your Queer As Folk
"Ben," Brian takes his time with what he says next, "The third time I fucked you, after you came, you cried like a baby."
Ben pales, "Oh shit."
"That is what I am saying"
Now I think I'm in love with you.
So happy you decided to plotsplorate :)
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 07:55 am (UTC)