(no subject)
Oct. 15th, 2003 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sisabetIn honor of Marriage Protection Week, I think I should do something. See, I really don't want to be married. It's not something I hope for or strive toward or particularly desire on any given day. I could be married now. I've had the opportunity. But see - if I had been married, then in all likelihood, I would be divorced and that just doesn't seem really in the spirit of things. I felt by staying single, I was protecting Marriage. But apparently not, as I do not get a week endorsed by the President.
So I should have a husband, according to the leaders of my country. I'm a big freakin' failure as a good ole redblooded A-murican woman if I don't. I don't feel like a failure, but obviously this is the result of my brainwashing by the liberal media. I should have devoted all my brain cells instead to getting my information from Rush Limbaugh. There is one steady, stellar source for ya! A role-model for our times.
So, exactly how are marriages being endangered? Help me out, I don't see it. Am I endangering them by not partaking? Am I causing the extinction? Do I have that power?
Of course not, silly. The legal union of man and woman is being endangered by gay people. I mean it is so freaking obvious. Just like my right to vote is being endangered by people with cats. Just like my right to free speech is being endangered by contact lenses.
I mean, you let one fellow marry another fellow legally, and it will just be total chaos. Everyone will want to do it. Men will marry men and women will all marry other women and we will die as a species. I mean if you let every committed couple enjoy the same rights, equally under the law, well you are just scoffing in the face of marriage. Marriage is not about commitment or love or sharing one's life - it is about going on a television show and competing with other airheads for the honor of marrying the guy that gets to whittle ya'll down week by week. I mean, if you let everyone get married, then you are just disrespecting Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. No wonder those two kids couldn't make it. Also, there will be more teen pregnancy. Marriage must be protected so there will be less teen pregnancy. And illiteracy. Yes! If you don't marry a man - you will forget how to read. It's a fact. And it makes baby Rush cry. And abuse prescription pain pills.
Fuck - I don't want a husband. But I love to read. And I do not want to be a pregnant teen. I mean, the choice it clear. Marry for America. Do it for Pam and Tommy Lee!
So I should have a husband, according to the leaders of my country. I'm a big freakin' failure as a good ole redblooded A-murican woman if I don't. I don't feel like a failure, but obviously this is the result of my brainwashing by the liberal media. I should have devoted all my brain cells instead to getting my information from Rush Limbaugh. There is one steady, stellar source for ya! A role-model for our times.
So, exactly how are marriages being endangered? Help me out, I don't see it. Am I endangering them by not partaking? Am I causing the extinction? Do I have that power?
Of course not, silly. The legal union of man and woman is being endangered by gay people. I mean it is so freaking obvious. Just like my right to vote is being endangered by people with cats. Just like my right to free speech is being endangered by contact lenses.
I mean, you let one fellow marry another fellow legally, and it will just be total chaos. Everyone will want to do it. Men will marry men and women will all marry other women and we will die as a species. I mean if you let every committed couple enjoy the same rights, equally under the law, well you are just scoffing in the face of marriage. Marriage is not about commitment or love or sharing one's life - it is about going on a television show and competing with other airheads for the honor of marrying the guy that gets to whittle ya'll down week by week. I mean, if you let everyone get married, then you are just disrespecting Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. No wonder those two kids couldn't make it. Also, there will be more teen pregnancy. Marriage must be protected so there will be less teen pregnancy. And illiteracy. Yes! If you don't marry a man - you will forget how to read. It's a fact. And it makes baby Rush cry. And abuse prescription pain pills.
Fuck - I don't want a husband. But I love to read. And I do not want to be a pregnant teen. I mean, the choice it clear. Marry for America. Do it for Pam and Tommy Lee!
