Brian Kinney - More Holy than Thou.

[sisabet]

So I suck. I meant to post this, oh, on Sunday. Seeing as how it is me and today is Tuesday, I'm actually early. But if I were anyone else I would suck.

Brian Kinney: The Man, The Myth, The Saint:

What do we know about Brian? Well, we know he is a self-absorbed, misanthropic, sex-addicted, obsessive-compulsive, substance-abusing, self-destructive, well-on-his-way to becoming an alcoholic, saint. That is what he is. He is also intelligent and apparently fun in a steam room.

Previous parts can be found:

Episode 1x01 thru 2x05

Episode 2x05 thru 2x20


Season Three



So here is where it happens. The sudden transformation - Brian is Becoming...what exactly? Who the hell knows, but I'm fairly certain whoever he becomes will probably be canonized by the next pope. If, y'know, he was real, and not a fictional character and all. But why split hairs about that? He is real to me. Which is actually kinda sad.

3.1: In and Out: The complete episode is an exercise in my "Awww...Brian" response. But inspiring empathy in me hardly qualifies as good deeds and helping the helpless. Which he totally does here. Yes. He does.
He lets Justin go. I know, I know, part of the reason that Justin left was due to Brian's emotional cowardice - but! That was not the only reason. They needed to break-up. It had to happen and yeah, Brian could have stopped it. If he had, then Justin would still not be fully back to being Justin and he would be waiting around for Brian to tell him how to live his life. Which would be wrong and bad cause the world needs adult Justin. Brian needs his Robin. So he will sacrifice the one relationship he has ever had that came close to being exactly what he needed for the greater good. I'm totally serious here.

Brian doesn't think he can give Justin what Justin needs. Brian doesn't think he is capable - and he isn't - not at this time. Now it is hard to infer exactly what Brian is thinking since he is usually not one to dwell and share and learn and grow. In fact - if I saw him dwelling, sharing, and/or learning and growing, I'd probably heave my television through a window. Brian acts and he rarely explains. Figure it out on your own time. But the conversation in the park with Lindsey does give us a Brian-mindset frame of reference.

Lindsey: So you'd rather be alone than be with the one person who loved you enough to put up with almost all of your bullshit.

Brian: I never loved him. And even if I did, I'd never ask him to put my needs above his, or to be something he's not to make me happy. I told him if he's not getting what he wants, he can go find it someplace else.

See, it is the "even if I did" which kills me. Brian would never put a qualifier like that onto a sentence or explain his point like this if it was not actually his motivation. He is not being selfish - he is trying to stand beside his silent rules and his unwritten code and it hurts. He is so growing as a person here, this is leaps and bounds above Brian Season One. Of course he tends to make these emotional steps forward with Lindsey, who just can't handle it. Michael gets excused by me, cause I honestly don't think he is insightful enough to always recognize these moments. But Lindsey totally does. I think it freaks her out too much. I mean, what if Brian started crying or something? Then her world would just come crashing down around her. So she ignores it and waits for another day to push Brian to open up emotionally. Way to give the mixed messages Lindsey!

Brian tells Justin that he hopes he gets what he wants and says it so sweetly and sincerely I die. This moment would be in every vid I make from now on (including the Angel and Firefly ones) except he is pissing when he says it. Actually - this would probably fit right in if I were vidding Farscape.

*Imagines Brian Kinney and John Crichton on same screen*

*brain explodes*

My favorite part of his saintliness this episode? You guessed it: Nobody talks shit about Justin! Hee - punching Michael was a huuuugge reaction - Brian is not violent. To make Brian violent you pretty much have to hit him in the face and then repeated kick his kidneys. Then he might take after you. Or, you could threaten or hurt Justin. Brian gets worked up then. If he is to be believed, sticking his head in a toilet elicits a violent reaction - but none of these situations are the norm. Brian gets angry - he gets revenge, but often through non-confrontational means (such as Regular Roy). Typically, pissing off Brian means he pops balloons ("The Birthday Party" and "Split Decisions"). So hitting Michael - while not normally an action one would celebrate - I will argue is another example of him being selfless. I'm not really certain why - except when Mike started in on that shit about how Brian should have just left Justin on the floor of the parking garage, my "Oh, No You Didn't" reflexes kicked in and I wanted to punch out his lights. Brian provided an important release to me in that moment and kept my television intact.

He also contributes $300 to the economy, and gives the viewers a much needed cry at the end of the episode. OH! And he fulfills rachelanton73's bullet proof kink and that was very nice of him, indeed.

*listens to "The Nothing Song" and cries*

3.2: Promises: A deal is a deal. Not only is a deal a deal and he fulfills his promises - he makes Justin keep the computer (and we know Justin needs it - we saw his hand earlier in the episode) but he also gets Justin and Michael working together again on Rage. And Rage is important.

3.3: Lessons - Well - even though he charged them, he totally makes a shitload of cash for the GLAC, and he uses his take to buy himself a Batmobile. Someone is gearing up to be a superhero and save the city, dontcha think? He also gives Justin a job (the poster experience will look good in his portfolio and nice cash incentive as well). He offers his sperm to Melanie. Oh, and he gives that nice young man at the end of the episode a ride in his new car. Too bad he is no Robin.

3.4: A Family Affair - Brian doesn't kill his nephew. That took enormous amounts of self-restraint and fortitude. Although, hindsight: perhaps he should not have flushed the little shit's head in the toilet. Ah, well. Live and learn. He was totally willing to babysit for his cunt-sister as well. The fact that Brian is not any more fucked up considering his family is also a testament to something - probably Debbie, so we won't dwell.

Oh, he gets himself into a situation where Justin can save him - totally bringing about the return of Justin being Justin and my head not spinning off my shoulders. At least until the bracelet return scene. Day-um. That was hot. That was UST-y. On a show that doesn't so much do the U in the UST. It kinda got me back in touch with my roots, that scene. Which is good, cause we all need to be reminded of where we come from.

3.5: Blind Ambition - Well Brian is only human. A vaulted example of a human, being a saint and all, but still, he is but a man. And last week's return of Justin to his former plucky self, albeit now with an adult tinge, if is just about all the poor man can take. So he tries to break-up Justin and Ethan. Depending on where you stand, this could qualify as the Lord's work. Ole Scott Hope is kinda getting on my nerves at this point - and one could argue, Justin's. Did you see how annoyed Justin was during "Lessons"? Lucky for Scott Hope that Justin is so easy going and just desperate to be in love and have this work out. Cause otherwise he has just made the biggest mistake of his life and wait. I'm getting ahead of myself again. So Brian tries to break-up the not quite happy couple, but he did serve a valuable point here: Ethan is not as noble as he pretends. I think we all knew this, but it was a nice object lesson. Then this happens:

Justin: What about me?"
Brian: What about you? You expect him to sacrifice his career for a piece of blonde boy ass? Is that your idea of true love, Sunshine?

Okay, I need a moment here.

*takes a moment*

Beyond the utter cruelty of what Brian says, and arguably this is the most viscious he has ever been toward Justin (even back when he called him his stalker, he was never like this)there is this recognition. This dawning if you will. Brian likes to file bits and pieces of information away - you can see the gears turning often behind a disinterested face, this is just what he does. And Brian makes the connection - the "oh, yeah - that is his idea of true love." Justin just wants to be first - the most important thing. And he wasn't for Brian. At least, he didn't feel like he was. And Brian gets that - he sees that now. And he gets how it isn't true for Ethan either. And I think as soon as he said the blond boy ass remark, he regretted it. Dude is about to cry. Damn. This scene gets to me, but it is a necessary part of season 3 because truthfully, Brian has no clue what love is. He didn't believe in it and now maybe he does but it's too late and he has no clue what it is supposed to be like. He knows what other people say and he knows what the popular definitions are, but he never bought into any of that because it did not work for him. Here - at this moment - Brian starts to put it together. He starts using Justin's definition. Which is so beautiful that it gets me through this scene. So while there was no act of selfless giving here, the foundation is being laid. Dude is growing. I am so very glad Lindsey is not in the backroom to quelch it.

Also in this episode, I think Brian gives Michael advice about jerking off, but I could be wrong since I'm still watching that last scene. Damn.

3.6: Truth in Advertising - Brian is back, baby and he is taking no prisoners. Dawn says he gives up all hope of getting Justin back in "Blind Ambition" and he is just spinning here. Internally, of course since he doesn't appear to be actually falling apart. Dawn says she can just tell. Okay. We'll go with that.

"For the life of me I will never understand why so many gay men fuck their bodies up with drugs" [tosses cigarette away] - I just want it said and known that I love this man. He is really present and accounted for as a friend in this episode. He is worried about how Ben's steriod use is affecting Michael and he even gets roughed up by Ben in the locker room proving it (and not in the fun way, either).
"And now I will be forced to sit at home not wearing my most fabulous new sleeveless shirt to Babylon." Is there no end to the sacrifices he must make?

He makes Stockwell sexy. Which is mind-boggling and not exactly good. It just goes to show you the kind of power he actually has. He could be soooo much more evil. It is almost a good deed that he isn't.

Brian Kinney is also a very big tipper. How much was that tip to Justin anyway? Oh, and he offers to buy Justin a drink at the end of the episode and then he leaves him alone. He didn't have to. Well, maybe he did, for his own sanity.

3.7: Love Has Many Faces - He totally saves Ted. Yeah, it took an appeal from Emmett to get him to do it, but he did. He won't take credit for it either. That is classic Kinney - do something nice and keep it secret. He lets us know he is keeping an eye on Justin when he notices that Justin is in yesterday's outfit. There was concern behind the smirking, people. He tells Mike he will be a great father and means it. He hung around the backroom and lets that guy blow him cause it was obviously helping poor Justin out. Gives and gives. I swear. Also - that scene was good for America as a nation. We were going through hard times back then. It gave us something as a people to be proud in.

3.8: Get Back - Well, um...hmmm... Brian did a lot for me in this episode, does that count? I know - he will not take Justin back until he stands up for himself and what he wants. That took a lot of patience and self-restraint, talents that have not been gifted to Brian. At least sexual self-restraint. Eventually he kind of has to spell it out to Justin and he does so, maturely and graciously:

"That is so like you. You don't hear what you want so you leave. Try standing up for yourself for a change. Have some balls."

Good advice. I think about it often.

Also the end? Still giving for the good of his country. Brian Kinney - fucking patriot.

3.9: Outrage - Three words: Cha, cha, cha. Brian and Justin are back together and they share with all of Babylon. What? Did something else happen in this episode? *dances to Viva Colombia*

He tells Michael that he loves him.

He offered Dude at Woody's a very easy way to supplement his income.

Well, he kinda sells his soul to the devil - this is probably his lowest point with Stockwell. But he recovers and allows Justin to blow him and melt his cold heart. I would actually argue that this is an altruistic gesture, since he is well aware of the cover of Rage and what is going on here. He wants Justin to thaw his cold, cold heart. Sniff. Brian is such a sap. But not Sap, cause he is gross.

3.10: Slippery Slope - At this point Brian kinda starts realizing his saintliness and naturally revolts. I mean, his greatness is being thrust upon him (and hee, I said "thrust") and it's enough to make a man stop, take stock and evaluate. And if you are that man and you are Brian Kinney then you do your best evaluating in the back room at Babylon. And when you loose that, you throw caution to the wind, become a superhero and help your nineteen year-old artist/activist boyfriend hang political statement posters.

3.11: A Helping Hand - in short order Brian's accomplishments this episode:
1. He tips Justin off about the GLAC appearance.
2. He loses his job for a piece of blond boy ass.
3. Gets in touch with his innate Goodness and shares some really primo shit with Debbie
4. He reopens the back room.
5. He physically morphs into Batman.

3.12: Gay Crusaders - now his willingness to give is just getting silly. Also, his and Justin's "sting operation" could use a little finesse. It is kinda rough around the edges, but so damned cute I don't care. He dresses Justin in leather and I die. Thanks Brian, that was so very nice of you. He is rather nice to Hunter. Oh and he throws an Orgy. Busy, busy, busy.

3.13: Sticking Point - "Brian Kinney, concerned citizen"

Omigod. Brian leaves the cast of "Queer as Folk" and joins "Homicide: Life on the Streets" - down to the hand-held camera following him around. See, I'm not so excited about this cause I have heard about some of the problems Bayliss has had to deal with and I'm sorry. I don't think Brian could deal. Not yet. Sex in a coffin is one thing, but anything else. Just no.

3.14: Family Values - here it is - this is where it all comes together. Brian saves the city, more importantly saves Emmett and becomes Jesus Christ Brian. I'm not making that last part up - watch the ep. It is Jesus Christ, Brian, practically every other word. Add to that the crucifixion pose at the loft and I'm half afraid Joss Whedon is gonna run up - hand Brian an amulet and send him off to save the world.

Ya'll know what set him off, right? Justin says, "If only there were a real Rage, to change everyone's mind." And end of season three, what Justin wants, Justin gets. Sniff. He loves that boy so much...what were we talking about. Oh yeah. So at this point Brian is either Batman or Jesus or something else entirely. We just kinda have to wait and see.

Whew. That is it. I've had so much fun with this that I might devote a section of the site ti it. It'll give me something to do in the new season, now that counting headtilts is sooo 2002.

Comments

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

Brian tells Justin that he hopes he gets what he wants and says it so sweetly and sincerely I die.

*sniffle* Yes... this, and one other moment sorta set the mental "tone" for the season in my head, Brian'n'Justin-wise. Brian says he hopes Justin gets what he wants, and Justin tells Ethan, "I can't stay." In the scene, he means he has things to do that day, but in my head... even Justin knew, deep down, that he wouldn't be with Ethan long.

(I cheer for the punch Every. Single. Time. I remember after I saw the preview, wracking my brain for what Michael could possibly say to Brian to get hit like that, and I never... ever though Mikey would be that cruel. Never. ARGH! *pops him*)

3.2: Promises: A deal is a deal.

(He also murmurs along with Marlon, and one day I will finish my deconstruction of One-Eyed Jacks in relation to QaF. Yes.)

That was UST-y. On a show that doesn't so much do the U in the UST.

GUUUUuuuuhhhh yes. And it's important to note that sometimes Brian is saintly in the things he doesn't do: he doesn't seduce Justin into the loft and you knoooooow he could if he tried. Half-tried, even. Crooked his finger. Justin'd be naked and in his bed in less than a heartbeat. And he doesn't do it. *swoons*

So he tries to break-up Justin and Ethan.

I have to disagree, here... he didn't try to break them up. Brian has always respected talent when he sees it: in Justin, in Kip, in Ethan even last season. And the advice he gives Ethan mirrors the advice he gives Justin later, to apologize and play the game because... money means getting to do what you want. He probably hoped they might break up over it... but the advice was honestly meant.

Beyond the utter cruelty of what Brian says, and arguably this is the most viscious he has ever been toward Justin

*whimper* Yes... but in his defense, he was so provoked. I mean... Justin. Dumps him for Ethan. And then has the nerve to ask him, "But if my new, spiffy boyfriend takes this contract and has to be in the closet, what happens to me?" Ooooh, I knew the shit would hit the fan. Knew it. Winced in advance. Brian totally lashed out, and was utterly vicious... yeah. Wince. Pain on both sides, and you could tell Bri regretted what he'd said almost the second the words left his lips. :(

He hung around the backroom and lets that guy blow him cause it was obviously helping poor Justin out. Gives and gives.

Ahahahah! Oh, like he didn't get anything out of that exchange ;) I know I sure as hell did. MMMMMMmmm. Sex-y.

(Will have to finish later.)