Weebles Wobble...

[sisabet]

I had this looonng, morose post finished about respect, and videos and basically how I really don't want to share my new vids publically anymore - and not because of clip theft, but because of my perceived pervasive reaction in the fandom at large - that it is no big deal and I am a major hypocrite for defending my work.

"Well, fine," I said to myself, I said, "Self, this isn't fun and we don't have to do it anymore."

"Right on self," I agreed. "Vidding is what you do and people don't have to understand it and you don't have to put them online."

My computer ate that post. I really believe ole Rutger hates it when I get all weepy-feeling-sorry-for-myself-and -full-of-woe. Rut don't allow none of that.

And then I was sad. I ate a sandwich and was happy. I thought about the vid I just finished and was sad. Then I read this comment on fandom wank by elke_tanzer and I was happy and proud again:

Second, so that people across multiple fandoms and mediums can see what happens to plagiarists and thieves if they admit what they did was wrong and apologize, as well as see what happens when they don't and continue to be rude and spiteful. Yesterday, the Buffyverse vidder who'd stolen clips from other vidders took his vids down and apologized, and he's now getting all sorts of offers of help in ripping and acquiring his own source. In contrast, the hosting-without-permission asshats are still being discussed as a boil on the ass of Firefly fandom, and fans in the Firefly fandom are having to more carefully consider going underground or pass-protecting their work... basically, the Firefly fandom is still suffering, and the Buffyverse fandom is recovering.

Now I'm just kinda confused. On one hand I am a huge control-freak. On the other hand I am incredibly lazy. On any given day these two traits cause enormous conflict. Today I am all over the place. No! I don't want to post my vids! Aw, hell, forget about it, it isn't worth it, I'll put up a few and be done with it. Fuck this, I'll post my vids if I want to! Crap. Maybe I should just friends-lock all vids - or do a secret URL? This is stupid, no one cares, I'll just vid and post and not worry. But I don't want to see this new vid stolen, and I know once it goes online that is it. But I want to post my vid! But I don't want to post my vid!

What generally follows is foot-stomping and pouting at myself. Thank God my cubicle is in a secluded corner.

I can't even soothe myself with the Spike-Angel-Lethal-Weapon-Connection. The boys won't play. They say I am not devoting enough resources to them at the moment. Whatever! My imaginary deadgaybuddyvampirecops are soooo difficult sometimes. Fucking divas!

I need help. Regardless about how you feel about clip theft, fan vidding, and copyright issues, the fact remains that I want to vid. I just need help determining how I share my work online. I need suggestions here people - c'mon. Let's think outside the box. Is it possible to post something online and then maintain a little bit of control? If it isn't, have I forfeited my right to become indignant when my work is then gutted? Am I am arrogant asshole because I don't want people who believe fanvidders are nothing more then low-rent crooks seeing my vids? Cause I am okay with that, really. Actually, there is no conflict with that last one. How to ensure it - that is a big question.

Comments

[danielleleigh.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say as someone who enjoys your vids very much, and appreciates all the time and effort you put into them, would find it a great loss if you stopped posting entirely. I'm a grad student and therefore busy with real-life insanity almost 24/7, and often feel like a big waste of space fandom wise because I can't contribute the way vidders and fic-writers and artists do. But I can't tell you how much it means to me that people like you share because you *want* to share - you can't expect anything in return except our appreciation and pleasure in your own artistic production. And the outside part of that - our feedback and such - is such a small gift in return for such wonderful accomplishments and lovingly created artworks.

I *completely* understand your reaction to what has happened and I don't think there is a *right* response to all of this, but as someone who isn't one of your livejournal "friends," I would understand if you felt safe sharing only with them, but would still want to enjoy your works.

This is really a way of saying *thank you* for sharing in the past, and I hope you will consider sharing your talent with us - in whatever way *you* can be comfortable with - in the future.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Now you made me feel all happy again (and yay you for posting - nice to meet you). I was over on another thread reading how stupid I am for caring about being ripped off when I rip off ME. I want to scream that it is not the same thing - but then I get too sleepy. Now I feel better. Would you care for some chocolate cake? How about a Spuffy Vid? I got one of those as well.

[danielleleigh.livejournal.com]

:::blush::: I'm glad my words helped if even just a *little*.

I *care* that you were ripped off, we should *all* care, because god knows I want this to be a happy corner of the net to be involved in, and lately due to the actions of a few, it hasn't been. I think we *do* have to deal with what has happened and that, of course, isn't fun or pleasant. But you, and others, have done a lot to educate others why certain actions *hurt* people even if their intent wasn't malicious. So. good for you for working through this, hard as it has been on you emotionally.

and chocolate Cake? Yummy. *grabs a quick bite off your plate*

Spuffy Vids? Niiiiiiiice. You know this will sound silly but I just like knowing people can make these things. I'm always amazed and astounded by the productivity of my fandoms. It is a lovely thing. :-)