![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sisabetYesterday was beta appreciation day and I didn't stop and take time to appreciate my betas. Cause, you see - I am deep in the middle of beta right now. I am flush with the beta process and I lost my favorite shot last night! Do you understand what this means?
I mean - I knew it was not in keeping with the over-riding theme and story of the vid but it was poignant. And I knew that my argument that it is the first person's POV - that we are ending on a wish state - I knew this was crap if you examined it closely enough but see!! You don't have to look at it that closely, you can just just, you know - look at it and go "aaaawwwww" and feel sad or lonely or better or whatever. How you feel is up to you, y'know?
But then my frickin' beta had to go and and say that while ending on a wish state is fine and good and I am using a first person POV, I am also drawing these parallels over to the side and the ending I am doing is crossing those lines into authorial insertion. AND DAMMIT!!!! I hate when she is right and I have to lose something I love. I hate, hate, hate it. And now we both know how I have to end the vid and it has been how I have said I will not end this vid all along. Because I didn't want to do it even though it must be done. DAMMIT.
And for this I blame![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pipsqueaky. You know what you did! You were absolutely right, as was renenet, but grrrrrrrr. How dare you try to make my vid better! Do you understand the depths of WOE we will now be subjected to without my bittersweet final shot? Do you? Cause I can't even look it straight in the monitor, the WOE will burn out my retinas. I have to punch a hole in a piece of paper and look through it that way. This is A WOE ECLIPSE! A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE WOE!! (and wow - what a fantastic LKBV that could be). BEHOLD THE WOE THAT YOU HAVE WROUGHT!
Look at the sad panda! You did this.
::cries::
See - I love my betas because they put up with THAT *points up*
I am not easy to beta. I require hand-holding and reassurance and also reminders to eat. I am prone to outbursts and naming sections of the vid so I can curse them and their progeny. I get wrapped up in what I am doing and sometimes can't face the story I am telling. Eventually, I will do what needs to be done but if you are the person who told me to do it? You must listen to me cry and wail and moan as I cut into my vid (MAH BABY!) because otherwise I will just email you the play-by-play. Repeatedly.
sockkpuppett once told me that the ending to "Paradise" wasn't working because I was trying to tell the story of Fred in 5 seconds and this wasn't specifically about Fred. I could hint at her fate, and Wes's and Gunn's but what I was doing was lessening the actual emotional impact of the entire vid.
And she was right and she said something very important to me: "This belongs in another vid" and YES! And it did and you *can* tell the story of Fred's fate in less than 5 seconds and I later got that chance.
elynross once told me that the placement of a certain clip in "Weeping Willow" did not work within the flow of the end. It needed to come somewhere else because of the emotional baggage behind that clip and OH MAN. No. That clip has to be *there* - it must be there and there is not other place for it that scene exists in the world today because it is supposed to be there and omgdoyouknowhowharditisformetothinkaboutthisbecauseIamattachedtothislikeglue?? And she was right! DAMMIT!
And I realized she was right and I did make the change and I am so very glad I did, now. Whew.
And when I am vidding, I can be INSANE. Just last night:
f1renze: Hey Liz, the first gunshot is not timed right.
Me: The first one? No, it is timed perfectly. The second one is messed up.
Flo: really?
Me: I'll take a look at it, but I think it is fine.
EXXXCCEPT....*drum roll*...it actually wasn't. Flo was absolutely right. The clip was off by one friggin' frame and she caught it.
And I am so grateful for all my betas - for everyone who helps me and supports the process and who cheerleads and who sits me down when it is really important and tells me that my child has deep, deep issues, but maybe we can fix them.
And also when they remind me to eat and sleep.
I mean - I knew it was not in keeping with the over-riding theme and story of the vid but it was poignant. And I knew that my argument that it is the first person's POV - that we are ending on a wish state - I knew this was crap if you examined it closely enough but see!! You don't have to look at it that closely, you can just just, you know - look at it and go "aaaawwwww" and feel sad or lonely or better or whatever. How you feel is up to you, y'know?
But then my frickin' beta had to go and and say that while ending on a wish state is fine and good and I am using a first person POV, I am also drawing these parallels over to the side and the ending I am doing is crossing those lines into authorial insertion. AND DAMMIT!!!! I hate when she is right and I have to lose something I love. I hate, hate, hate it. And now we both know how I have to end the vid and it has been how I have said I will not end this vid all along. Because I didn't want to do it even though it must be done. DAMMIT.
And for this I blame
pipsqueaky. You know what you did! You were absolutely right, as was renenet, but grrrrrrrr. How dare you try to make my vid better! Do you understand the depths of WOE we will now be subjected to without my bittersweet final shot? Do you? Cause I can't even look it straight in the monitor, the WOE will burn out my retinas. I have to punch a hole in a piece of paper and look through it that way. This is A WOE ECLIPSE! A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE WOE!! (and wow - what a fantastic LKBV that could be). BEHOLD THE WOE THAT YOU HAVE WROUGHT!Look at the sad panda! You did this.
::cries::
See - I love my betas because they put up with THAT *points up*
I am not easy to beta. I require hand-holding and reassurance and also reminders to eat. I am prone to outbursts and naming sections of the vid so I can curse them and their progeny. I get wrapped up in what I am doing and sometimes can't face the story I am telling. Eventually, I will do what needs to be done but if you are the person who told me to do it? You must listen to me cry and wail and moan as I cut into my vid (MAH BABY!) because otherwise I will just email you the play-by-play. Repeatedly.
sockkpuppett once told me that the ending to "Paradise" wasn't working because I was trying to tell the story of Fred in 5 seconds and this wasn't specifically about Fred. I could hint at her fate, and Wes's and Gunn's but what I was doing was lessening the actual emotional impact of the entire vid. And she was right and she said something very important to me: "This belongs in another vid" and YES! And it did and you *can* tell the story of Fred's fate in less than 5 seconds and I later got that chance.
elynross once told me that the placement of a certain clip in "Weeping Willow" did not work within the flow of the end. It needed to come somewhere else because of the emotional baggage behind that clip and OH MAN. No. That clip has to be *there* - it must be there and there is not other place for it that scene exists in the world today because it is supposed to be there and omgdoyouknowhowharditisformetothinkaboutthisbecauseIamattachedtothislikeglue?? And she was right! DAMMIT! And I realized she was right and I did make the change and I am so very glad I did, now. Whew.
And when I am vidding, I can be INSANE. Just last night:
f1renze: Hey Liz, the first gunshot is not timed right. Me: The first one? No, it is timed perfectly. The second one is messed up.
Flo: really?
Me: I'll take a look at it, but I think it is fine.
EXXXCCEPT....*drum roll*...it actually wasn't. Flo was absolutely right. The clip was off by one friggin' frame and she caught it.
And I am so grateful for all my betas - for everyone who helps me and supports the process and who cheerleads and who sits me down when it is really important and tells me that my child has deep, deep issues, but maybe we can fix them.
And also when they remind me to eat and sleep.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 03:54 pm (UTC)*mwah*.
I love you, too. *g*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 04:11 pm (UTC)I totally forgot -_-
Whoops.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 04:19 pm (UTC)Boni: Uh, Liz - why is Darla here if the vid is about Angel and Lindsey?
Me: Because she is PRETTY! And Lindsey kisses her and it is HOT and then she totally calls him on wanting to be with Angel through her.
Boni: ooookay, but see - I don't get that watching the vid.
Me: Oh. I should just stick with Lindsey and Angel then?
Boni: Right.
*weeps and cuts pretty, pretty Darla out of vid*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 05:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 10:17 pm (UTC)Woe is good. Woe is necessary. Embrace the woe.
See, this is why we need
Now I wanna see the new ending! But I will not be back online til Sunday. WOE. (see? I'm embracing the woe. It's not hard.)
p.s. eat. sleep.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 10:23 pm (UTC)And, actually the ending now does not exist. I cut the last clip (WOE) and I moved a few things around but by that point it was after 1am and I was fading and the woe was wearing on me and renenet was *laughing* at me and mocking all the nonrelieved pain I was going to have to dish out and can Fraser never catch a freaking break with you people???
And renenet is leaving this weekend as well.
::BIGHUGESIGH::
My life is soooo hard. I want to have this thing finished this weekend.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 11:00 pm (UTC)FYI, I'll be around tonight and then I'll be back on Thursday.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 10:58 pm (UTC)Okay, actually, my phrase was "authorial statement," but it was part of a slightly longer explainy thing about the overall operation of polar bears, so, yeah, that's pretty much the idea. And, why yes, I did raid my chat log earlier today for the one polar bear, two polar bear, no polar bear discussions. It is now saved on my hard drive as sadpanda.txt, and it still cracks me up. She caved as soon as I spelled out a reason to because she knew it was what the vid needed! ::is SO freaking proud of sisabet:: *That* is the source of my endless glee — pride in her and victory for the vid! What doesn't kill the vidder makes the vid stronger! Whee!
Way to tag team on this one, sister, because I had no specific plans to call her out, so I'm laying the blame for her unhappiness off on YOU! Neener! ::runs away::
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 08:23 pm (UTC)This has made my week. :)