Home Maintenance OR How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Broom

[sisabet]

Wow - I have really been depressed because there are all sorts of things I need to be posting here and I haven't. Failure to keep LJ current should totally be on some depression check list.

I just went to Big Lots and got a bunch of winterizing plastic sheeting-type things for my windows. It isn't yet time to do all this but a co-worker told me I should go ahead and get all this stuff as they sell out in December. So I am ready. I think.

Do I need weatherstriping? What is weatherstripping? Is it one "p" or two?

I am so ready for winter. I'm already hunkered down and chilled. I think partly because the vid I am working on is really really cold. And I'm almost finished. Like really really close to being done and I haven't wigged out on some strange vid meta-like post on LJ about the experience and I haven't lost interest and I think I can just let this one go and WTF? I think I am growing as a person.

OH!! And Lum said it last night and I am totally holding her to this - but she is ready to collab on something and I am totally ready to do this and so we better be doing this. Which means I have to finish this vid because there is something else I need to be doing! YAY!

I've discovered that if I have a clean or cleanish home, I am happier and feel calmer overall. Since I am distractable and lazy and too poor to hire a housekeeper - the task of keeping up with my dishes and a dog with a tendency to shed his body weight in hair weekly sometimes seems daunting.

I have recently discovered some tips - which I will share with you now - on how to get me to clean and maintain a home that will not get Sid taken away by the Puppy Welfare Society:

1. Stop Struggling with Technology. If the vacuum stops running after 10 minutes and continuously loses its belt and is generally being a pest and bane on your existence? Get rid of it and buy another one. I don't care if it will still work if you do this and that and then hop on one foot. Get rid of it.

It is very hard for me to part with items if they even marginally are still capable of performing. I feel sorry for them. If vacuuming is a struggle and takes 3 hours to do 2 rooms? Not worth it (especially considering I have hard wood floors and ONE big rug). The vacuum will forgive you - in fact? It wants to retire. Pretend the vacuum is you and the big sucking sound you hear is your current job. Put it out of its misery and experience a moment of vicarious freedom

2. Buy fun gadgets. And by gadgets - I mean a mop. YES - a REAL LIVE MOP. Oh - and buy a bucket. You will never get over how often you will use a bucket if you actually own one.

But to me it felt frivolous to have a broom and a mop and a swiffer (or whatever it is that you use - swiffer-like-cleaning-type-thing) and a vacuum. But, I have most of Buffy on tape. It doesn't feel frivolous to also buy the DVDs. Same thing here - we are talking analog to digital floor care.

See - the vacuum is great for grabbing all the excess dog hair drifts that start in corners and soon will find their way tumbleweeding across the lonesome floor without regular intervention. Even better than the vacuum was the powerful handheld with a wand thingy I got on sale at Meiers. I can walk around without a huge thing in tow and zap up all the dog hair in corners and under things. It is fantastic.

Now the broom is also pretty nifty. I've mainly used them in the past for having other people take down spider webs. Turns out? They can quickly help you clear a floor of general rubble. Who knew?

Once you have a pile of general rubble hit it with the hand-held attachment on the vacuum. Suddenly, that mess no longer exists. You have defied space and time. You are like full of magical powers. Now all you have to decide is if you are a good witch or a bad witch. Ideally you can debate this as you put your broom away. If you hop on and pretend to ride it and no one is there to see you? It never happened.

::whistles tune from "Bewitched"::

Now the floors are clear and all you have to do is, you know, clean them. The swiffer-type-thing works fantastically on the hardwood floors and has the fun spray nozzle and then it swivels all over the place. Helpful hint: embrace your inner Gene Kelly. Issue commands like "Glow floor, GLOW!" and marvel at the shiny.

For the kitchen? If you are anything like me you will need a mop and a bucket. If you really want to get into character, I suppose you could just get a bucket and one of those scrubby type things and pretend to be Cordelia at the Hyperion cleaning the floors. I'm not actually sure how that works, though. I mean I see it all the time on TV, but I've never actually figured out why they were working the floors into a lather. Are they going to rinse? How will this end? I only know the beginning of this cleaning ritual - not the end. I grew up in house with wall-to-wall - it IS NOT MY FAULT.

::takes a moment::

But we are in the kitchen now and there are bigger fish to fry. Although, actually, I wouldn't recommend it, frying fish. See - the oil gets everywhere and then your whole house smells like fish and there is a Captain D's just down the street. Logically it just doesn't make sense, but you are an adult and it is your kitchen. I am just trying to help.

What was I talking about? Oh, right - kitchen. Okay - see this is the scene of all my big cleaning downfalls - the kitchen. I tend to get really narrowly focused and think that as long as I do the dishes and put food away the kitchen is clean.

Apparently, not as my mother tried to point out to me by showing me that cabinets and counters and even the fridge can become rather disgusting, even with extremely limited use. My mother was also aghast that I did not have any bleach in the house and when I just looked at her cause, really, what am I gonna do with bleach? I was actually worried about her heart right then. She just muttered something about having failed me as a mother and I was trying to make her feel better by showing her where I bought three boxes of Baking Soda after heres_luck said it was good to clean with. "See, Mom - look! Baking soda!" except I didn't really know what to do with the baking soda other than to walk around the kitchen and introduce it to the appliances. "Mr. Toaster, I'd like you to meet Baking Soda. Yeah, we are hoping Baking Soda will be cleaning for us. Possibly soon."

::baking soda just sits there::

"Yeeeeep. Any day now."

So, yeah - the kitchen is not my forte. Did I spell that right? For-tay. The kitchen is just not my bag. But I finally figured out a way to motivate me to make it sparkle. Now - this works for me, it might not work for you - but you possibly could try it and see.

First of all - you get some of those rubber/latex gloves that you are supposed to use to wash dishes. Then you get yourself a really big sponge. Then, and this is the trick that brings it all together, you pretend that you have to wipe down everything in the kitchen that might have your fingerprints on it and you have to do it all before Fraser wakes up.

My kitchen now sparkles. The entire thing. Even the toaster.

Comments

[brynnmck.livejournal.com]

I love your posts. I really do.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Well thank you!

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

Ostrich-feather dusters are enormously fun (and although I am not sure how I feel about her, lots of people swear by http://www.flylady.com/).

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Um - is she a cleaning person or a cult-leader? Cause I am kinda afraid and she might not let me pretend to be Samantha Stevens plotting Darren's eventual comeuppance while I toil away at domesticity.

[cyprinella]

I have one that's made out of shiny black rooster feather on an antique broom handle. It was supposed to be a wedding gift but, um, wasn't. I *love* dusting with it. Also good at spiderwebs.

[nestra.livejournal.com]

Weatherstipping (which has two p's, and is not therefore weathersriping, like candy stripers) is stuff you put around, say, doorframes, in order to make sure that cold air doesn't seep into your house through cracks.

Want to come clean my house?

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I can barely clean my tiny apartment. But I do like having clean floors, and not only because if the floors are clean it is easier to pretend-skate-in-socks. Well, okay, yeah - that is pretty much the only benefit.

[askye.livejournal.com]

Weather stripping goes around doors and windows. You can buy foam stripping in a roll from Lowe's or some place like that. The kind I got for my place has an adheseive backing, so you pull of the paper and stick it on.

It makes an extra seal if there are any spaces between the frame of the door and door when it's closed.

My kitchen always looks bad and I love to cook. Which means there are dishes and I have no dishwasher...maybe I can use the Fraser thing to motivate me.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I also have no dishwasher and the Fraser thing (you have to get the gloves in order to get into character) is totally working right now.

[falzalot.livejournal.com]

:: falls over laughing ::

You and me? We do the same kind of cleaning, I think. Though I actually *have* scrubbed a kitchen floor on my hands & knees. The trick is, you have to keep changing the water.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

The trick is, you have to keep changing the water.

Change it to what?

[trelkez.livejournal.com]

First of all - you get some of those rubber/latex gloves that you are supposed to use to wash dishes. Then you get yourself a really big sponge. Then, and this is the trick that brings it all together, you pretend that you have to wipe down everything in the kitchen that might have your fingerprints on it and you have to do it all before Fraser wakes up.

Maybe I'll try that approach. As for the baking soda - I used to use it in my college dorm room, because someone told me that keeping an open box of baking soda in the fridge would prevent unpleasant fridge smells. I know nothing about its cleansing properties, though. Probably because the kitchen isn't my bag, either.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Well, mom was really wanting to bleach my sink and so I compromised and made a baking soda paste. Which - I thought it worked at the time, but then later I actually bought bleach and put it in my sink and damn - she was right.

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

If you form a paste with it, like you would if you were applying it to a bee-or-wasp sting, you can use baking soda as a mild abrasive.

You can sprinkle, dry, it on the carpet or furniture, wait a short while, then vacuum it up: it's the main component in most of the sprinkle-on carpet fresheners.

You can mix a little in water to use and use that as a cleaning solution for the fridge and counters and stuff. (I bet rinsing Sid with would even help him stay delightly free of doggy odors.)

I bet there's a webshrine to it ... oh, look, there's even a great big book: http://www.bakingsodabook.co.uk/

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Swiffers (you were!) -- if you haven't tried their little hand held dusters, you should. It was a revelation for me -- I hate to dus becase I sneeze for hours afterward, and so I would use a slightly damp rag, but it was hard to get the rag just the right level of dampness to not damage the wood yet hold onto dust. These things pick up all the dust and crud, and don't shake it loose. Plus, there's no icky sticky stuff to get on your equipment or gum up things. They are my most favoritist cleaning tool these days.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Ohh - cool. I've been using the handheld-vac-wand thingy to dust lately cause I have allergy issues *and* dog hair everywhere. I saw the duster things and I wondered about them, but I had tried an actual duster-duster and that was just a mess. I think I actually used that thing to *create* dust.

[way2busymom.livejournal.com]

In my dreams, Angel cleans my kitchen.

*goes back to happy nap*

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Well...I can promise you that Angel never cleans in my dreams. In fact, he generally makes a bit of a mess.

[pipsqueaky.livejournal.com]

I love you.

You will never get over how often you will use a bucket if you actually own one.

Oh yes. Especially if you keep people in your closet.

If you figure out how the floor-cleaning ritual is supposed to end, please let me know, cause I also grew up with wall-to-wall and a maid and no one ever showed me how to do these things. So Totally Not My Fault.

The kitchen trick is the best thing ever. EVER. Must remember to try. (And you get to imagine Fraser is sleeping in your bed - an added incentive!)

Are you up for suggestions on your vid? Cause I thought of something the other day that you could do to a particular clip that might look cool (or it could possibly suck ass. Either way). But it is not a big thing at all and if you just want to finish up the vid and let it fly, that is cool.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

No - now is totally the time for suggestions and comments! Please do not forever hold you peace!! Jump up and pound on the glass and if I need to change bears - tell me!!

Hee - have you even seen the latest? I don't think anyone has as I've just been merrily tweaking along.

[ely-jan.livejournal.com]

*grins* I hereby vow to toss the three vacuums sitting in my guest room that do not work and buy a new one. See? You touch one life and then another...

then there's a cult.

Adored this!

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Yay! You are not throwing them away, only setting them FREE!

[heresluck]

Dude. You cannot just wave the baking soda box in the general direction of the kitchen. I posted *recipes* for the baking soda. Right here:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/heres_luck/122968.html

Also, you reminded me that I need to get new vacuum cleaner attachments, since the old ones are still in Wisconsin. Oops.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Vacuum attachments are fun and like magic.

And yes - I remembered you told me (and everyone else) how to use the baking soda. I just couldn't take the knowledge from my computer to the kitchen. In the walk I would forget.

And I know that you know that it is not a very long walk, but you also know that I am easily distracted and there are a lot of things on the way like dog and couch and television. And fan! And window!

Ohh - and I have buttercup squash and sinus problems. I should totally make that red curry conconut squash soup.

[deaver.livejournal.com]

Bwah!

You are too wonderful for words!

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Hi there

So, it is Yom Kippur and I'm thinky. Traditionally, this time of year, one is supposed to make amends to anyone we may have offended, and ask for forgiveness.

I'm not sure if this is all in my head (all about meeeee) or if it's accurate, but if there is any lingering uncomfortableness or annoyance or worse regarding my reply to your post about Katrina, and its fallout, I'd like to apologize again, and ask for your forgiveness.

Happy New Year.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Ohh hon! There never was any bad feelings at all. I was pissed at the world and I actually felt a lot of support from your direction. I've been majorly avoiding everything and bummed but only a small portion of that was related to Katrina (well a majorly small portion) and NEVER was I resentful of you.

Happy New Year! And ::hugs:: and hang on I am posting this from my email and I can't pick and icon. And I know that you are not reading this as I am typing but I want to get the good icon out.

::cuts and pastes::

Whew - see - the *good* icon.

[aukestrel.livejournal.com]

Uh... so Fraser is still asleep, right?

Naked? In bed?

All warm and soft and cuddly?

I just want to know... why would I be OUT of the bed?

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Because there is a plan and you have things to do and anyway the bed got really tiny and Fraser takes up most of it and he puts off like waves and waves of heat and you just need some space cause pretty soon you are gonna pull him apart to see how he works.

Of, course - Victoria has issues. I just want something to motivate me to clean my kitchen.

[dualbunny.livejournal.com]

You bring the best punchlines. And cleaning tips! ;D