I Am Gary Coleman. Not Spartacus. Gary Coleman.

[sisabet]

There was Buffy wank! It broke the Harry Potter f_w streak and it went thru like, the Five Stages of Wank before lunch.

And now it is over and I feel bereft. Also, a bit pissed off and I'm still working on figuring out why I am pissed off. Possibly because I am at work. Oh! And I went to the Pizza Hut Buffet at lunch with coworkers and there was barely any pizza at all and no supreme and so I filled up on salad. I am not a Filled-Up-On-Salad type person here. I am a Give Me Supreme Pan Pizza or Give Me Death type person here, yet I kept my mouth shut for fear of embarrassing my coworkers. Cause I am also a big ole wuss.

Also know this: if everyone reading my LJ decided I needed to quit my job and concentrate on... well, see there is the thing. I wouldn't do anything but what I am doing now, only even more obsessively. I'd read LJ. I'd scan the New York Times. I'd think about Mos Def. I'd read more LJ. I'd wonder if I have an ear infection. I'd get up and open a can of Diet Mountain Dew. I'd read more LJ. I'd kind of think about changing the channel but then Reno 911 would come on and I like that in the background. I'd probably read fanfic. I'd wonder how someone thought to do that. I'd open an email to ask them and then get distracted by an AIM message. I'd hear that South Park is coming on after Reno and I'd have to track down Lum to tell her. I'd remember Sid should be walked. I'd read more LJ. I'd think about Mos Def. I'd decide I didn't have an ear infection, that it must be malaria. I'd wonder if Mos Def watches South Park and I would decide that he doesn't. I'd think about Angel. I'd wonder if Angel thinks about Mos Def and I would decide that he doesn't. I'd congratulate myself on being so well rounded. I'd wonder if I paid my cell phone bill. I'd try to remember what day it is. I'd read LJ.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

So as much as I hate my job, I do love my job because it gives me something to hate. Does that make sense? I need structure cause I am incapable of providing that structure to myself. Well, not incapable - I could do it, I suppose. I don't. Well, sometimes I do. I need to right now, actually.

Also? I am waaaay too fascinated by the personal details of stranger's lives. Seriously, the whole "unable to afford a wedding or elopement" thing kind of took me by surprise cause a justice of the peace isn't all that expensive and anything after that is just gravy, right? Isn't this what we decide when we grow up and, y'know, prioritize things? Or maybe is just my people? But then the stuff about not being engaged and buying the wedding dress anyway and all of that... well, I had to stop myself from calling Dawn and gossipping. About someone we don't know. A stranger. Which is no different, really, from me calling Dawn yesterday to explain that right at that moment I was looking at a picture of the Runaway Bride performing her community service and enjoying myself tremendously. And I know what that is: That is shaudenfreude. I have the Avenue Q soundtrack.

Comments

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

oh, see now i want to go metameta, b/c i do wonder about the illicit enjoyments we derive from wank and from being first to know and how an accelarated wank limits these pleasures...hmmm...interesting!

and yes on the weird voyeuristic pleasure of reading about strangers' lives...it sometimes gives me pause just how much i like it :-)

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I mean I try to feel all superior to my co-workers cause I am not all uptodate on the latest to hit with Brad-N-Jen-N-Angelina... but really isn't it the same thing driving all of this?

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

it is totally the same thinbg. and as much meta as we all do, there are certain issues none of us touch in public...the addictive aspects of what we're doing; the similarities to what you were describing; the having a life or not stuff; the odd intense relationships; the glee in wank; the insecurities and desire to be loved by all...or when we do, we step real carefully :-)

[jackiekjono.livejournal.com]

So as much as I hate my job, I do love my job because it gives me something to hate. Does that make sense? I need structure cause I am incapable of providing that structure to myself. Well, not incapable - I could do it, I suppose. I don't. Well, sometimes I do. I need to right now, actually.

Thank you. I needed another reason to appreciate my terrible job that I hate. The only ones I had were that it makes the house payment and that I generally win any competition related to "who has the crappiest job?"