I Want a Rider That's Cool.

[sisabet]

Okay, let us just say that this is apropos of nothing at all, but if you post a notice of a story to, let us just say a noticeboard, and you proclaim the story to be Slash, SLASH, all kinds of slash in about 16 different ways - all the while kinda implying that there is something strange or unusual or even naughty (ohhh you are so BAD! you slasher-you!) about this story being slash and then state that well, it is actually just a PG because you wussed out at the boy-touching*...

I will roll my eyes and make note not to ever read you - ever. Your LJ, your gen-fic, your het-fic and yes - even your slash. Because you - you are possibly an idiot and my life is really really short and I don't have that kinda time to waste.

See, you don't get it. Maybe one day you will. I am not going to be the person to explain it to you and I accept that now. Once upon a time I would have tried or thought about trying or just...

Life is really really short. It is too short to explain that for a lot of us - we don't read slash to be subversive. The majority of my fannish time is spent in slash circles - this is the norm for me, so it doesn't feel subversive. Or even naughty. It feels like me seeking out stories about particular pairings that touch me. Often those pairings are m/m and it turns out I am a big ole romantic mushball and I like to read stories where my favorite characters have big ole adventures and fall in love. If there is banter and snark - even better. I'd blame Hepburn/Tracy for this but I have to be honest - I came of age watching "Moonlighting" and that taught me one thing:

If you spend the majority of your time arguing and sniping with someone else and you also just happen to share an incredible emotional bond and love this other person, then you should be sleeping with them.

And there should be trauma and connectiveness and misunderstandings and sometimes, if God really really loves you, there will be cave-ins. Or body-switching. Or vampires. Or Body-Switching-Vampires-In-Cave-Ins (do you hear me killabeez?) And I read these stories because I like them and because they appeal to me and they don't have to appeal to you. You don't have to dig slash to be cool. Slashers are not the Pink Ladies or anything (although, IMO, most of the fandoms I have been in the slash is much more present in quality than then gen. With notable exceptions, of course) and you don't have to pretend to be Rizzo or even Frenchie. If you are gonna pretend to be Frenchie - go with the Grease I version, because Grease II just really bummed me out, at least Frenchie-wise. I mean, I was totally into Michelle Pfieffer's Stephanie and wanting a Cool Rider (a cool, cool, cool, cool rider) but I was young and impressionable and it was always on and there was SINGING and DANCING and MOTORCYCLES and a TALENT SHOW and I just didn't know any better.

You know and Grease II also introduced the idea that a Pink Lady could only date a T-Bird and maybe the only way to be a Pink Lady was to date a certain guy and that bothered me as a child cause the Pink Ladies should totally be setting the standards cause they were organized as a group WAAAAYY before the guys were. I was talking about something else, though, wasn't I?

Oh yeah - this whole slash thing. Sigh. Whatever. Life is short. Angel is pretty. Rodney is smart. Stark is crazy. Mal is Captain. Adama is Daddy. I hold these things to be self-evident. Along with the pure, true love of House and Wilson. Cause honestly? Without that love? I wouldn't even watch the show, Hugh Laurie notwithstanding. Sure I like Foreman, but does he have a spaceship? No. Okay - what about a time machine? Can he call up wormholes with the power of his mind? Okay then, Medical Dramas - not a genre I typically hold a long-term interest in, but every week there is the potential that this week House and Wilson will make out onscreen and that keeps me coming back for more. And that keeps me reading fabulous stories because in those stories they do and it is great because they are both MESSED UP! And things go badly and they fuck things up and they act like PEOPLE and I like that. Cause I am a big ole romantic mushball and the most important part of it all is that they do love each other, even though they continually screw things up. But I read this because, based on what I see onscreen, this is a normal course of events. This is happening, now - in this fanfic story, because it really is inevitable and all wishing aside, I won't see it onscreen. I'll see hints, because subtext exists, and I'll see not so subtle hints because the producers are aware we are watching, but I doubt that Fox will air what I really want to see.

But I don't want to see this or read this to be naughty or subversive. You know - I really don't read anything for those reasons anymore and I tend to associate the *need* to push beyond those boundaries with a delayed adolescent exploration of roles. Cause I *used* to read and do things because they felt like that - except I was a teenager. Why not just be me, now? So, I take the idiot comment back. You might not be an idiot. You just might be very very young and unlike a lot of my friends, you probably still don't know who you are (I am blessed to have on my fList, an astounding number of bright and sure young women - it is really hope for the future, ya know). So you are not an idiot. You are just immature.

Anyway - I can't care for long! I am going to see Serenity tonight!! WHOO and HOO!!

* I've actually noticed on the few comms I actually monitor for fic, several posts that all read as "oohh, look at me. I am sooooo bad. I wrote/vidded slash!" and I also have noted that it seems the "slash is ebil" debate might have arisen again lately based on some posts I have seen on my fList, but I've been too tired to read fandom wank lately. Usually it just depresses me with the stupidity unless I am in the mood to be impressed with the amount of stupidity. Sometimes that is amusing in a "We are All DOOMED" kind of way. But it is June and now officially summer and so yeah - I guess it is time for that wank.

Comments

At Imperial Dominion, our banks are all indoors, so magpies *can't* get in.

[kimera.livejournal.com]

Okay, my subject line has nothing to do with what I'm going to say, but I've been listening to that mp3 nonstop lately.

I never really understood the reasoning behind labelling *anything* slashy as R or NC-17... like, for example, A Certain Fandom That I Shall Not Name (but it involves seven men and takes place in the Old West). All of the slash, even the stuff that's no more suggestive than mentions of kissing or omgsleepinginthesamebed (not even any sex!), is hidden away in a password-protected archive. Even the majority of personal fic sites in this fandom follow that example, though other "adult" (violent, or het-romance) is more easily accessible.

Sure I like Foreman, but does he have a spaceship? No. Okay - what about a time machine? Can he call up wormholes with the power of his mind?

I'm totally my father's daughter in that I can't really enjoy things that don't have spaceships or aliens or demons or people who live forever.

Re: At Imperial Dominion, our banks are all indoors, so magpies *can't* get in.

[abbylee]

See, I totally want to make a sarcastic response about how my eyes will burn if I accidentally see a man who could kiss another man (even if they don't end up kissing), but then I realized that most people would assume that it wasn't sarcasm. Because, sadly, it's too usual that there are people who do think they'd be blinded and corropted and won't you think of the children?

Re: At Imperial Dominion, our banks are all indoors, so magpies *can't* get in.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Dude - there is this one con - crap, is it MediaWest? What is it? Anyway - since they are an all ages con, all of the slash vids have to go into the adult shows. No matter the theme or anything of the vid - if it depicts two men in a possible relationship - keep if from the kids.

I understand where this comes from - I do. But I do not approve or condone it. If you feel the need to protect someone (anyone) from seeing an implied homosexual relationship - then that really, totally and completely, means you just... well, you suck. If you go along with marginalizing a relationship because it is a same sex relationship - then you suck as well.

It doesn't mean that you don't deserve music and it doesn't mean I hate you and it doesn't mean you are just beyond hope - it just means that you suck.

Re: At Imperial Dominion, our banks are all indoors, so magpies *can't* get in.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

It is MediaWest, and I wouldn't mind the policy if it weren't so. fucking. hypocritical, because the art show has naked men fucking one another all over the place and kids can go in and out of that any time they like.

But see - the con makes *money* off the artists (commission for placement in the art show), but none off vidders. Hence the ghetto.

Fuck you, MediaWest -- choke on it.

Re: At Imperial Dominion, our banks are all indoors, so magpies *can't* get in.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Heh - I just can't understand this. Well, no, I do understand this and I wish I didn't.

It is just - if the song does not have explicit lyrics, if all the footage used aired on a primetime broadcast then the *only* thing making this "adult" in nature is that the vid depicts two people of the same sex in a relationship. Period. And labeling that as adult is wrong and demeaning just plain tacky.

Re: At Imperial Dominion, our banks are all indoors, so magpies *can't* get in.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

At Media West, there is the gen show, there is slash show and there is the adult show.

I pushed the barriers this year. I submitted one to the adult show that contained slash AND het.
They made me put it at the end and put warnings on it.

Because, you know, Luke and Leia getting it on in the shower (with nudity) is so much less offensive than the guys walking down the aisle of the Massassi temple to the Wedding March.

[linzeestyle.livejournal.com]

Can he call up wormholes with the power of his mind?

You know, I like House just the way it is and I *still* kind of want to see this episode. Bonus points if he does it during surgery and they accidentally suck a patient into it. Because really, not even House can fix it if they end up sending a cancer patient to the Dimension of Perpetual Tuesdays or something.

Linzee

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Space Medicine. Whenever I get up in arms about the WTFedness of the medical stuff, I am to chant "space medicine."

Wormholes are like almonds and make everything better. Except for the heroes - they usually screw them up royally, hence making everything better for me.

[klia.livejournal.com]

If there is banter and snark - even better.

I have to ask: Has tzikeh ever shown you any I Spy? It has banter in spades, as well as obvious love and the sharing of hotel rooms.

I'd blame Hepburn/Tracy for this

Yes! Bogie/Bacall, too.

but I have to be honest - I came of age watching "Moonlighting"

I was so bummed the other night because I caught the tail end of the Moonlighting "Taming of the Shrew" on Nickelodeon. God, I loved that show until... well, let's just say it took almost 20 years for me to forgive Mark Harmon for fracking it all up.

If you spend the majority of your time arguing and sniping with someone else and you also just happen to share an incredible emotional bond and love this other person, then you should be sleeping with them.

*cackles*

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Hee - tzikeh has shown "I Spy" vids to me. She also fills in the blank on some dialogue ie, "I believe you have something that belongs to me" (paraphrased).

I never blamed Mark Harmon cause at least he prompted the mutal-slapping-and-then-rolling-around-on-the-floor scene that so deeply impressed me as a child (and possibly still does...Angel/Spike anyone?) but that was probably the end of the series for me.

[klia.livejournal.com]

tzikeh has shown "I Spy" vids to me.

Just vids? Oooh, tzikeh has fallen down on her job as I Spy pimp! *g* You must see some eps!

[luminosity]

I never blamed Mark Harmon cause at least he prompted the mutal-slapping-and-then-rolling-around-on-the-floor scene that so deeply impressed me

yeah, it impressed me too. I couldn't believe that they could screw it up so badly from that point onward. But remember!?? Remember that scene when Maddie came back inside from telling Mark-the-astronaut goodbye (as he dumped her) and saw David sitting in her bed, all smug? I *loved* that scene. And she slaps him--once... twice... and he grabs her hand... and.. and.. the music starts, and he's only wearing a sheet and.. and.... GAHH!!! [filled with the short-lived DavidnMaddie love]

Yeah, see? Angel should wear the sheet, and Spike can get really upset and slap him and then slap him again, and then.. and then... the music uhhh swells and it's deja vu all over again.

[killabeez.livejournal.com]

(do you hear me killabeez?)

I hear you, baybee. :D

Also, I can prove mathematically that being a slasher does not automatically make you cool. Because I am one. You see?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I rate my slash fic the same way I rate my het fic. By 1984 standards.

Same sex smoochies are PG.
Making out is PG
Frotting off while leaning against a tree on an autumm afternoon gets an R. (because they are wrapped in their coats and nothing shows)


I hate the notion that it's all PG-13 for kissing and implication and NC-17 for more, as the Elusive Lover site has it. (Clear Vision is very much a G fic, and they boosted it to PG-13)

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

If the story has a really high rating simply because it's slash, if the story's any good, I leave a comment and including re-rating it.

You nailed why I keep watching House as I'm all about the spaceship, vampire, immortal thing. (And prisons too.)

[lumenara.livejournal.com]

and sometimes, if God really really loves you, there will be cave-ins. Or body-switching. Or vampires. Or Body-Switching-Vampires-In-Cave-Ins

That is a *fabulous* idea.

Along with the pure, true love of House and Wilson. Cause honestly? Without that love? I wouldn't even watch the show, Hugh Laurie notwithstanding. Sure I like Foreman, but does he have a spaceship? No. Okay - what about a time machine? Can he call up wormholes with the power of his mind?

*doubles over laughing*

Okay then, Medical Dramas - not a genre I typically hold a long-term interest in, but every week there is the potential that this week House and Wilson will make out onscreen and that keeps me coming back for more.

Yeah, I was slightly ashamed about watching a medical drama, actually... except for The Gay of House and Wilson and their love which may be making me even crazier. Do you have fic recs? Because I am afraid that I have read all the decent ones, and I may have to resort to writing it soon, which would be Bad.

[snoopygirll.livejournal.com]

So you are not an idiot. You are just immature.

Ouch! Me thinks 'immature' is a little harsh. Could we maybe say she's in the process of 'maturing'? Because when I first got into reading slash, I remember how ashamed I was. And there really is no other word for it, I was ashamed. Because that's how the little corner of the world I grew up in viewed such things. It took me some time to realize they were WRONG and that there's nothing sexier than two guys with ANY excuse for a tumble. *heh* Perhaps she's currently on that long lonely road too.

If not though, if she's dissing slash, WELL! I'll hold her down, you get the feathers. *g*

And Grease II! Stephanie singing Cool Rider on top that ladder *sigh* but nope, I'll never be mature enough to say I enjoyed THAT! ;)

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Normally I will bend over backwards in order to give someone the benefit of the doubt. In this case? There was an element of bragging - of "look at big bad me writing a slash story!" and the obvious cry for attention by posting this not at her own LJ but on a noticeboard. No, even if she is dealing wiht shame - posting what she posted was immature at best and idiotic at worst. I stand by my judgement (and this rarely happens. I am easily swayed, but in this one instance I remain firmly convicted.)

And "Cool Rider" ROCKS!

::mental note to vid it::

[snoopygirll.livejournal.com]

Ooh, your stubborness is so. . .so maturing. ;) But I bow to your superior knowledge of the situation.

And Cool Rider, yes, mental note that one. I can see it now, a Stargate masterpiece: Jack in his leather jacket, Daniel, er, I'll leave that one up to you. . .manipulative cow, aint I? But that's okay, you're stubborn. :P