No Fear? Get Real.
Jun. 7th, 2005 02:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sisabetI have contacted my landlord. Well, kinda. I couldn't find his number (it is in my roll-top desk. I know this, except *everything* is in my roll-top desk. I actively *fear* this desk) so I wrote him a letter and mailed it at lunchtime.
So yay. Yesterday I checked my unit outside and it was running and the fan was spinning. I changed the filter and I did everything I know to do and no dice - the place was hotter with the air running and the windows closed than it was, you know, all old-fashioned like - so I wrote a letter. A very nice letter in which I posit that I am just in need of freon.
So far in the body of this post I have admitted directly fearing a desk and indirectly fearing my landlord. I sometimes think that if I were to list all of the things in the world that frighten me, I'd run out of time. Oh, that scares me! I think a list of things I am not frightened of would be fairly short.
I'm not scared of puppies. Or full-grown puppies. Well, most. Snarling dogs, I have a healthy response toward. Cats I don't fear unless, you know, I should. There are cats that need to be feared. I respect that.
I'm not afraid of sushi. I'm not afraid to drive fast, I just choose not to do so because I am an adult who respects the rules of the road. Unless I am listening to, like, the Dropkick Murphys or something. Then I can't be responsible (my engine is supercharged, y'all. Sometimes I can't help it!)
I am not afraid of the Big Bad Wolf. I do fear pigs. Well, not so much pigs as hogs. Oh, and boars. Did you see "Beyon the Thunderdome"? That was not all made up - pigs are viscious creatures (or can be). When I was little and watching "The Wizard of Oz" my daddy would always wait for the part where Dorothy is walking on the hog pen railing like a balance beam - and singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"- and he'd always threaten to wear us out if he ever saw us doing something as stupid as that. Not that we kept hogs. No - we didn't (cause they will keeel you). We didn't keep chickens either and while I have no active fear of chickens, they do tend to make me nervous. They are just so shifty eyed, y'know? Don't get me started on Canadian Geese and Swans - evil and vindictive and they will as soon see you dead as look at ya.
I do not fear Diet Mountain Dew. Not at all. I have the opposite of fear for Diet Mountain Dew. I completely and whole-heartedly and without reservation am open to the Diet Mountain Dew. If it was possible to have a symbolic ceremony in which I would pledge my faith and trust in anything - it would be with Diet Mountain Dew.
I don't fear... well, man. I am running out of things I don't fear.
::looks around desk::
Staple removers? Terrifying. Telephone? Lord, help me. Ibuprofen? Can tear apart your insides. Auto claims? Only scary if you don't want to know a 1001 ways to wreck your car.
Ohh - a small tube of Aveda Hand Relief cream fills me with no sense of impending dread. YAY. Also, while I am certain it is possible to become seriously injured by a scotch tape dispenser, I am very fond of mine. It is burgundy and full of sand and was the very first thing at this desk I broke. Memories!
Paperclips can go either way. I just don't trust them. Oh! Highlighters! They may be evil, but I just don't care ::hearts::
Post-it notes start off all nonscary but before you realize it they have take over! They are like Tribbles only note-y. Also, there is the whole Reaper aspect of post-its, although that could technically be just a Rube thing and Rube things should not be scary.
My rolodex. We have a complicated relationship - half the time I just don't get what it is trying to tell me and half the time I need something it just doesn't have. But - when we are in sync - everything is groovy. So, I don't know that I have any fear toward my rolodex, although I do think we are unhealthily co-dependent.
The world is a big scary place. No wonder I hunker down so much.
::ducks and covers::
So yay. Yesterday I checked my unit outside and it was running and the fan was spinning. I changed the filter and I did everything I know to do and no dice - the place was hotter with the air running and the windows closed than it was, you know, all old-fashioned like - so I wrote a letter. A very nice letter in which I posit that I am just in need of freon.
So far in the body of this post I have admitted directly fearing a desk and indirectly fearing my landlord. I sometimes think that if I were to list all of the things in the world that frighten me, I'd run out of time. Oh, that scares me! I think a list of things I am not frightened of would be fairly short.
I'm not scared of puppies. Or full-grown puppies. Well, most. Snarling dogs, I have a healthy response toward. Cats I don't fear unless, you know, I should. There are cats that need to be feared. I respect that.
I'm not afraid of sushi. I'm not afraid to drive fast, I just choose not to do so because I am an adult who respects the rules of the road. Unless I am listening to, like, the Dropkick Murphys or something. Then I can't be responsible (my engine is supercharged, y'all. Sometimes I can't help it!)
I am not afraid of the Big Bad Wolf. I do fear pigs. Well, not so much pigs as hogs. Oh, and boars. Did you see "Beyon the Thunderdome"? That was not all made up - pigs are viscious creatures (or can be). When I was little and watching "The Wizard of Oz" my daddy would always wait for the part where Dorothy is walking on the hog pen railing like a balance beam - and singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"- and he'd always threaten to wear us out if he ever saw us doing something as stupid as that. Not that we kept hogs. No - we didn't (cause they will keeel you). We didn't keep chickens either and while I have no active fear of chickens, they do tend to make me nervous. They are just so shifty eyed, y'know? Don't get me started on Canadian Geese and Swans - evil and vindictive and they will as soon see you dead as look at ya.
I do not fear Diet Mountain Dew. Not at all. I have the opposite of fear for Diet Mountain Dew. I completely and whole-heartedly and without reservation am open to the Diet Mountain Dew. If it was possible to have a symbolic ceremony in which I would pledge my faith and trust in anything - it would be with Diet Mountain Dew.
I don't fear... well, man. I am running out of things I don't fear.
::looks around desk::
Staple removers? Terrifying. Telephone? Lord, help me. Ibuprofen? Can tear apart your insides. Auto claims? Only scary if you don't want to know a 1001 ways to wreck your car.
Ohh - a small tube of Aveda Hand Relief cream fills me with no sense of impending dread. YAY. Also, while I am certain it is possible to become seriously injured by a scotch tape dispenser, I am very fond of mine. It is burgundy and full of sand and was the very first thing at this desk I broke. Memories!
Paperclips can go either way. I just don't trust them. Oh! Highlighters! They may be evil, but I just don't care ::hearts::
Post-it notes start off all nonscary but before you realize it they have take over! They are like Tribbles only note-y. Also, there is the whole Reaper aspect of post-its, although that could technically be just a Rube thing and Rube things should not be scary.
My rolodex. We have a complicated relationship - half the time I just don't get what it is trying to tell me and half the time I need something it just doesn't have. But - when we are in sync - everything is groovy. So, I don't know that I have any fear toward my rolodex, although I do think we are unhealthily co-dependent.
The world is a big scary place. No wonder I hunker down so much.
::ducks and covers::
no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 08:23 pm (UTC)