I Hold These Truths to Be Self- Evident
Jun. 2nd, 2005 10:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sisabetI am unable to hear, read, or think the phrase "Fresh air" without immediately following it with "Times Square." Remember on BtVS when Spike asked "Who are you gonna call?" and then groaned that that phrase was ruined forever? I am so right there with him.
There are more knee-jerk responses, but I think you get the point. These impulses - they throw me. There is nothing more stride-breaking than getting into an argument with your whatever and right when you start making really valid, albeit loud, points he throws up his arms and yells out "Stop" and you are unable to remember anything you were gonna address now cause you just have to immediately follow his "STOP!" with "collaborate and listen" and well, you try winning an argument after that. It just isn't possible.
I've been thinking a lot about destiny and how to use it in my fannish interpretations. I know, intellectually, that I am willing to accept a lot of things in a pretend world that I do not believe actually exists in the physical one. Well, at least I think I do, but then there is a part of me that wants to just reserve judgement on everything. She sits in my brain and there are conversations that go like this:
Me: Well, take vampires, for instance.
Her: What about them?
Me: They don't exist and yet I will happily accept them in just about any narrative.
Her: Well, do you know for sure?
Me: Do I know for sure, what?
Her: That they don't exist. Do you know for sure?
Me: Vampires?
Her: Yes. Do you know for certain that they don't exist?
Me: Yes. Yes I know for certain. Vampires are not real.
Her: How do you know this?
Me: I just... because they don't. This is a physical world bound by certain laws and principals and one of those laws is that the dead don't walk and feast on the blood of the living, if that is the definition of vampire that we are working from here, right?
Her: And you are certain?
Me: Well - I think I am. Maybe
Her: Because you know the idea of the undead comes from somewhere...
Me [interupts]: YES! Because people have always had very active imaginations!
Her: Of course. Because fantasy and superstition never originate from actual concepts.
Me: No they do - and I know the whole origin of the vampire story and I am willing to accept bloodthirsty and savage humans that traditional lore, in order to make it more acceptable, has transitioned into a type of monster. I just don't believe that vampires in that monster sense are an actual possibility.
Her: And you are certain of this?
Me: Yes.
Her: Completely?
Me: Yes. Absolutely.
Her: Okay.
Me: What do you mean okay? You don't believe me? Have you been talking to Lum? What kind of response is that, "okay"? I am you and I know what that means!
Her: It means just that - okay. Fine.
Me: GAWD! Alright. I don't know for certain. I don't know anything for certain, how is that? I only think that my eyes are blue and I wear a size 8 shoe, but you have shown me that sometimes people call my eyes gray and the shoes I am wearing today are 7 and a half [aside- we argue a lot] so nothing is ever absolute and it is all a matter of interpretation and who knows what mysteries the universe holds and I am so very down with all of that - totally down and groovy with it, but really? VAMPIRES?
Her: Are you certain?
Me: Fuck you.
So, forgive me if I don't want to let her get her hands on my belief system and how it relates to destiny. Because I just can't buy it. I can't because things just happen and they don't have to have an ultimate reason or purpose. I think the phrase that "Everything happens for a reason" is the worst bullshit ever invented. My skin crawls when someone tells me something is all part of "God's will" or "God's Plan" because from where I stand (and every single thing I was ever taught in Sunday School) proves that either God has no plan whatsoever, or, if he is working off of some grand blueprint, his plan is well and truly fucked. It is a much greater comfort to me to imagine a fumbling and making it up as he goes along diety than one who actually means for the things that have happened to happen. Cause there is just no love in that, y'know? There is the feeling like a hamster in that idea, but no love. Perhaps a genial fondness, but I want more out of my God than just a distant benevolance, a "I'll probably kill you in the morning" Dread Pirate God, so I have to go with Door Number 1 and No Plan at all.
Otherwise, I could grow bitter.
I remember ten years ago, back when![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
drdawn was spouting all that Celestine Prophecy crap at me and I thought it was bullshit then, and just a convenient way to convince yourself that if you saw the same guy at Butchertown on Friday night and The Brewery on Saturday and then ran into him over last call bloody marys at the Outlook Inn and then at a 4am breakfast at the Twig and Leaf, that it was meant to be and a hookup was totally in the stars. When, actually, all it means is that Louisville is a very small town and everyone goes to Butchertown on Friday and has last call bloody marys at the Outlook Inn, this is what the place is known for, and The Twig and Leaf is the only breakfast place open on Bardstown Road after 4am. The only thing the Universe is trying to tell you is that maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't be out every night, all night long, partying, and if you didn't get that or understand that when you met your father in the parking lot at first light as he was leaving to go to work and you were just then coming home still dressed in club clothes, then the Universe really cannot help you.
But in fanfic? In watching a show and thinking about destiny? I am totally all over it. I love it. I love prophecies and plans and Ultimate Stuff playing out and I have to be very very careful not to let her near it because then she might confuse me and I have so very few absolutes I believe in. Very few absolutes and this is one and so I can treat it fictionally all I like - I love it in fiction and I must leave it in fiction because anywhere else and it makes my stomach hurt.
Because I am more likely to come up with the words to describe Spamalot than make sense of the universe and if, for some reason, I decide that there is a purpose than we are talking Huge Second Life-Time Crisis of Faith and I barely made it through the first crisis of faith and I really swore than that I was finished and done. So - yes. I am close-minded. About this. This and lima beans.
Lima Beans are disgusting and there is no such thing as destiny. I cling to these absolutes.
There are more knee-jerk responses, but I think you get the point. These impulses - they throw me. There is nothing more stride-breaking than getting into an argument with your whatever and right when you start making really valid, albeit loud, points he throws up his arms and yells out "Stop" and you are unable to remember anything you were gonna address now cause you just have to immediately follow his "STOP!" with "collaborate and listen" and well, you try winning an argument after that. It just isn't possible.
I've been thinking a lot about destiny and how to use it in my fannish interpretations. I know, intellectually, that I am willing to accept a lot of things in a pretend world that I do not believe actually exists in the physical one. Well, at least I think I do, but then there is a part of me that wants to just reserve judgement on everything. She sits in my brain and there are conversations that go like this:
Me: Well, take vampires, for instance.
Her: What about them?
Me: They don't exist and yet I will happily accept them in just about any narrative.
Her: Well, do you know for sure?
Me: Do I know for sure, what?
Her: That they don't exist. Do you know for sure?
Me: Vampires?
Her: Yes. Do you know for certain that they don't exist?
Me: Yes. Yes I know for certain. Vampires are not real.
Her: How do you know this?
Me: I just... because they don't. This is a physical world bound by certain laws and principals and one of those laws is that the dead don't walk and feast on the blood of the living, if that is the definition of vampire that we are working from here, right?
Her: And you are certain?
Me: Well - I think I am. Maybe
Her: Because you know the idea of the undead comes from somewhere...
Me [interupts]: YES! Because people have always had very active imaginations!
Her: Of course. Because fantasy and superstition never originate from actual concepts.
Me: No they do - and I know the whole origin of the vampire story and I am willing to accept bloodthirsty and savage humans that traditional lore, in order to make it more acceptable, has transitioned into a type of monster. I just don't believe that vampires in that monster sense are an actual possibility.
Her: And you are certain of this?
Me: Yes.
Her: Completely?
Me: Yes. Absolutely.
Her: Okay.
Me: What do you mean okay? You don't believe me? Have you been talking to Lum? What kind of response is that, "okay"? I am you and I know what that means!
Her: It means just that - okay. Fine.
Me: GAWD! Alright. I don't know for certain. I don't know anything for certain, how is that? I only think that my eyes are blue and I wear a size 8 shoe, but you have shown me that sometimes people call my eyes gray and the shoes I am wearing today are 7 and a half [aside- we argue a lot] so nothing is ever absolute and it is all a matter of interpretation and who knows what mysteries the universe holds and I am so very down with all of that - totally down and groovy with it, but really? VAMPIRES?
Her: Are you certain?
Me: Fuck you.
So, forgive me if I don't want to let her get her hands on my belief system and how it relates to destiny. Because I just can't buy it. I can't because things just happen and they don't have to have an ultimate reason or purpose. I think the phrase that "Everything happens for a reason" is the worst bullshit ever invented. My skin crawls when someone tells me something is all part of "God's will" or "God's Plan" because from where I stand (and every single thing I was ever taught in Sunday School) proves that either God has no plan whatsoever, or, if he is working off of some grand blueprint, his plan is well and truly fucked. It is a much greater comfort to me to imagine a fumbling and making it up as he goes along diety than one who actually means for the things that have happened to happen. Cause there is just no love in that, y'know? There is the feeling like a hamster in that idea, but no love. Perhaps a genial fondness, but I want more out of my God than just a distant benevolance, a "I'll probably kill you in the morning" Dread Pirate God, so I have to go with Door Number 1 and No Plan at all.
Otherwise, I could grow bitter.
I remember ten years ago, back when
drdawn was spouting all that Celestine Prophecy crap at me and I thought it was bullshit then, and just a convenient way to convince yourself that if you saw the same guy at Butchertown on Friday night and The Brewery on Saturday and then ran into him over last call bloody marys at the Outlook Inn and then at a 4am breakfast at the Twig and Leaf, that it was meant to be and a hookup was totally in the stars. When, actually, all it means is that Louisville is a very small town and everyone goes to Butchertown on Friday and has last call bloody marys at the Outlook Inn, this is what the place is known for, and The Twig and Leaf is the only breakfast place open on Bardstown Road after 4am. The only thing the Universe is trying to tell you is that maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't be out every night, all night long, partying, and if you didn't get that or understand that when you met your father in the parking lot at first light as he was leaving to go to work and you were just then coming home still dressed in club clothes, then the Universe really cannot help you. But in fanfic? In watching a show and thinking about destiny? I am totally all over it. I love it. I love prophecies and plans and Ultimate Stuff playing out and I have to be very very careful not to let her near it because then she might confuse me and I have so very few absolutes I believe in. Very few absolutes and this is one and so I can treat it fictionally all I like - I love it in fiction and I must leave it in fiction because anywhere else and it makes my stomach hurt.
Because I am more likely to come up with the words to describe Spamalot than make sense of the universe and if, for some reason, I decide that there is a purpose than we are talking Huge Second Life-Time Crisis of Faith and I barely made it through the first crisis of faith and I really swore than that I was finished and done. So - yes. I am close-minded. About this. This and lima beans.
Lima Beans are disgusting and there is no such thing as destiny. I cling to these absolutes.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 03:58 pm (UTC)Wow. Throw in something about misanthropy, love of salads, and the inherent futility of trying to get anything done between six and eight a.m., and you've pretty much summed up my complete life philosophy. Actually, you could even leave out the salads. And the futility. And misanthropy is stipulated as a first principle in these parts, so I guess you really have summed up my philosophy.
Yes. I need this on a t-shirt or an icon or something.
Lima Beans are disgusting and there is no such thing as destiny. I cling to these absolutes.
*admires statement again, leaves humming*
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 04:42 pm (UTC)Me: Zombies aren't real. they are not trying to crawl through your window and kill you.
Brain: Zombies COULD be real.
Me: It's not likely.
Brain: But it is POSSIBLE.
And then I stay up all night, scared to death of zombies.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 05:41 pm (UTC)Excerpt:
After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during "resurrection."
Thank you BBC News for making the nights just that much more scarier.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 05:51 pm (UTC)*sends link to everyone she knows* Heh.
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Date: 2005-06-02 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 06:49 pm (UTC)Thankfully my plan did not have to go into effect.
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Date: 2005-06-02 07:35 pm (UTC)The hougans created mind-slaves by poisoning people, and then forcing them to work in their catatonioc states. This is why a real zombie can be returned to the grave by feeding it salt or something spicy. Those foods remind the creature it is dead. In reality, both salt and capescin have been shown to counteract the poison to a slight degree.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 07:45 pm (UTC)The bokor is what makes a zombie.
http://death.monstrous.com/zombies.htm#functional
Papa Doc Duvalier had his own private army of them in Haiti
The talk of the poison connection is here
http://death.monstrous.com/origin_of_zombies.htm
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Date: 2005-06-02 08:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 08:07 pm (UTC)The myth stuff, that I've acquired over the years as a marauding folklorist.
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Date: 2005-06-02 08:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 07:39 pm (UTC)April Fool's Day is evil.
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Date: 2005-06-02 07:41 pm (UTC)I still double-checked it online just to be sure it wasn't real. Because - zombies. *shudder*
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Date: 2005-06-02 06:12 pm (UTC)Zombies are real. *whimpers*
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Date: 2005-06-02 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 06:52 pm (UTC)Zombies.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 05:01 pm (UTC)I am so getting struck by lightning today.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 05:41 pm (UTC)Destiny! Destiny! No Escaping that's for me!
Date: 2005-06-02 07:40 pm (UTC)Trust me, I have a degree, read widely, listen to Air America and generally behave as an over-educated elitist middle-class snob. I still think "Times Sqvare" in a Gabor voice when I hear "Fresh air!"
Vampires are a disease metaphor. While humans with teriary congenital syphillis evince some traits usually associated, most of the symptoms are those of a fresh, unembalmed corpse being buried.
And i used my grouchy Luke because THERE is a man with a destiny.
Or a density, whichever.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 08:11 pm (UTC)I will be the first to tell you there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of...even on acid.
Vampire stories seem to gain popularity with outbreaks of plagues. For the Victorians, it was syphillis. For the 30s, it was the general fear of hypnosis (as practiced by Hitler and Stalin). For the 60s, it was the sexual revolution bringing new STDs. Just when we thought vamps were obsolete, the AIDS plague showed up and we have gay vampires, like The Lost Boys and Anne Rice's.
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Date: 2005-06-02 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 09:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 09:42 pm (UTC)-"And also with you. Let us pray"
And thank you Episcopalian upbringing blended with a liberal dose of George Lucas. I think I am physically incapable of hearing the one without finishing with the other. If I end up in Hell, I am totally blaming Star Wars.
And don't worry about Vampires. Everyone knows they aren't real. Werewolves, on the other hand . . .
Not that, you know, were-anythings freak me out or something. *scoffs* *cowers*
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Date: 2005-06-03 12:44 am (UTC)::loves::