One Word is Worth a Thousand, er, Words.

[sisabet]

I was taken aback the other day reading Neil Gaiman's blog when he remarked that he had never heard the word "Goodness!" used as an exclamation and I was glad to see that several people wrote in on the subject.

Just so you know - I hear "Goodness" all the time, mostly from mothers of young children who used to say something completely different before their kids started parroting their words, or from elderly people or... well, hell - I use it, too. I mean, I can't talk the way I normally do with clients and so you have to have a way of expressing shock and sympathy as most of my people have been through an ordeal.

But the word can mean many different things, depending on intonation. My most common use of it is as "My goodness!" with the appropriate hand over the heart and expression of disbelief. The correct interpretation of this is "No shit?" unless I lean toward the speaker which denotes "Awwww, no shit?" which is very similar but forges a more emotional connection. This can be used to describe a reaction to a myriad of situations but most often one where you are commiserating with a fellow human over the miserable behavior of another, somewhat, human.

Example:

Client: I told her I didn't care if she called the po-lice, I's getting back in my car and taking my momma on and so's she jumped up and started wailing on the quarter panel with her keys. So I restrained her an' all and that is when she kicked the fender and the car jess went down the embankment into the crik.

Me: My goodness!


Now, it can also mean other things as well. "Goodness" alone can, when used with the proper arch expression and tilt of a chin, mean "You fucking bastard, I hate you. I don't believe you. You are beneath me and You will always be beneath me and did I mention that you were scum? And that your mother is a whore? I am certain I mentioned that but I am reiterating that again, just for clarity's sake. Also? You suck" Now - I am certain that anyone can squeeze a certain amount of that meaning out of this single word with practice, but to get the whole she-bang, you really have to be Southern since it is kinda taught to you from birth on up. Seriously, do not fuck with a Southern woman in a battle of words cause she just will not need as many as you do. Trust me. They are like jackyls and they get this gleam in their eyes and a lot of these ladies' only fulfillment in life comes from *this* so just... Avoid the Junior League. My advice to you, do with it what you will.

Example:

Stupid Fucker: Hey, Liz - I am so sorry I flaked on dinner with your folks but me and Dave were at the river festival and then there were these cops and I knew you didn't have bail money so I called Face instead.

Me [on telephone at work, surrounded by clients]: Goodness!


See? See how that works? Goodness will never go out of style as long as there is so much that can be done with it.

Comments

[bathsweaver.livejournal.com]

Goodness rocks. It's right up there with "Bless her heart" and "isn't that/she sweet?" for diversity of meaning.

Being Southern is fun. ;-)

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Being Southern is certainly interesting, especially if you pay attention.

[bathsweaver.livejournal.com]

0.o

::slowly backs away::

Lol! I use it all the time also.

[viola69.livejournal.com]

Usually as my 'safe' Oh Shit!, No Shit! or some such, when at work, especially when I was in retail and had to be ... mindful of my language on the floor or even off the sales floor since I was manager.

In some instances where it was called for I even will say "Goodness Gracious!".

Re: Lol! I use it all the time also.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Oh I adore "Goodness Gracious!" isn't it just fantastic?

Re: Lol! I use it all the time also.

[viola69.livejournal.com]

Lol- Yes- and the variance in 'G' sound is just pleasing to the tongue. ;-)

And I'm a Non-Southern-er. ;-)

Re: Lol! I use it all the time also.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Oh Vi, you *know* you are a Southerner at heart. Hell, you even *read* like a Southern woman and I bet that somewhere, stashed in your vanity drawers, you have a set of hot-rollers. Come on, sometimes Southern is a state of mind.

Re: Lol! I use it all the time also.

[viola69.livejournal.com]

Lol! Perhaps past life I was a Southern Lady.

And the hot rollers are in the closet, top shelf... I've got other rollers on a case in my room that come out on occassion... And all the big belt buckles on the Country Music awards last night were making me ... excited.

Re: Lol! I use it all the time also.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I rest my case.

[luminosity]

And we can't forget the southern eyebrow quirk or the Freeze. These are invaluable to southern women everywhere. While the slow shaking of one's head is the classic, there's also a newer version of "if I see you do that one more time, I'm going to reach over the table and pull your spine out through your throat," which entails the near-bulging-out-of-their-socket of one's eyes. Mothers of toddlers have this down pat.

And? "Isn't s/he *precious*?" which means "What a moron!"
Plus! "Bless his/her heart!" which means "What a goddamned moron!"

I love being a southern woman.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Oh man - the sheer *range* of what Bless his/her Heart can mean is just astounding, althought I will cop to only using "bless your heart" in a situation where I am wanting convey warmth and caring.

But - yeah - usually it means that someone better be blessing them somehow cause God doesn't always protect fools and children.

[elynross.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that surprised me, too. I use "goodness," not often, but sometimes it's the only word that will do. And I also "good heavens" on occasion.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

If you get me on a good roll and tirade and I am in a situation where I am *extremely* passionate, yet barred from using vulgarity to express that and I will revert to "Land's Sake!" or the converse "Heaven's Sake!" or "My Heavens!" and I am certain there is just a *list* of other things that can potentially come out of my mouth that are ridiculously old-fashioned but that I spent an entire childhood absorbing.

In fact - maybe I should try to go a week without cursing just to see what comes out? A very nice lady in New Orleans once told me that curse words are the product of a lazy mind. She was right about almost everything else, so I have to give her props on this as well.

[elynross.livejournal.com]

It's possible! I know that obscene words seem to have more force -- but then I wonder if using them casually leads me to use them more, causing them to lose their force, so I use them more...

And then I wonder if, if I didn't use them, that it would in turn remove some of the vociferousness from my anger. Even when a "goodness" carries a universe of meanings, it's never quite as vicious as a more obscene cussword, and possibly that usage doesn't just express how I feel, but changes it somehow.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I might try this. It might be fun. A full week without the use of any curse words at all.

I wonder if I should also ban "freakin'" and "frickin'" cause I use them pretty interchangeably as a lesser "fucking" - but when I was in a play my sophmore year in college - one of my lines was "I don't care about the freaking car!" but they made me cut the "freaking" part out as "controversial"

Or was it "friggin' car!"? It was. No frig allowed. Or friggin.

[retired-mom.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am back at work for a few minutes....Cappy is asleep.....and I believe a certain mother has also told you that only people with a limited vocabulary resort to using only cuss/swear/bad words ...they are too easy...there are just so many other ways of saying what you mean....or don't mean.....southern "ladies" know this...it is an art form......love, a certain mom....

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

No - you told me cuss words make the baby jesus cry. You never told me they indicated a limited vocabulary. Actually, you never complained about my limited vocabulary until recently.

[darlingboys.livejournal.com]

::clutches sides::

You have killed me dead, dead I say! *guffaws*

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I am a blow-in living in the South.

I know exactly what they mean, but I've never mastered the ability to say "I believe you are mistaken" in such a way it comes out "You're a godsbedamned liar and I'm gonna kick your ass."

I find it easier to speak my mind.
I have a 50,000 word vocabulary (in my first language, less in my second, third and fourth. By fifth we're down to food and cussing) and I am not afraid to use it all.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

"Brevity is the soul of wit"

[robynbender.livejournal.com]

My goodness, I was all set to chime in re the multifaceted uses of "Bless his heart!" but I see that many folks were in line ahead of me. [Pesky Day Job!] I have to ask, do you know Florence King's "Southern Ladies and Gentlemen"? Dated, of course, but she has an ear for dialogue like no one else. "Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady" has more of the same, plus, femmmeslash!

[rydra_wong]

See, I cannot participate in this discussion, because I was raised to believe that the proper exclamation was "Hell's bells and buckets of blood!".

[thefakeheadline.livejournal.com]

Hee, this post reminded me very much of my mother. She likes to use "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" and "God bless it!" as her exclamations of choice. *g*