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sisabetOkay - the next person to tell me that the election was decided on "morals" or "values" gets me going nuts, standing on my head and screaming "Prove it, prove it, prove it, prove it" like a demented monkey with the power of speech because - you all know - this is just not the case. This is just one of those things we are being told and are accepting like the good little automatons we are.
It is more like a moral minority - they just happen to be in charge and controlling the information that is fed to the public at large.
It's not like this is the first time this has happened. But today I was reading an article about "Kinsey" and the current climate of sexual suppression in the popular media and in The New York Times and the writer made a point about how the moral minority (OH! MORAL ELITE!) want to stop all references to any form of nonbiblical sex...
And I had to wonder what Bible they were reading. Maybe there is a new one that has been censored cause -outside of certain fanfics - the Bible has more and various sex in it than anything I have ever read.
Trust me. When I was a kid I had to go to church camp and at church camp you are only allowed to read the Bible and books about the Bible and the Bible was always soooo much more interesting with its whores and incest and King David running around Mad Pimping.
I learned about bestiality from the Bible. I never would have thought of that - I am notoriously uncreative when it comes to the subject - but there was one of those warnings about it in one of those long lists of warnings and so I asked a camp counselor what specifically was being referred to here. Now you have to understand - these camp counselors were students culled from the nearby Bible College. The men were all gonna be youth or music ministers and hopefully work their way up to one day lead a church of their own and the women were all either gonna marry a preacher or lead a choir or... actually - I have no idea what the women were doing there. Why would you go to a Bible College that cost thousands and thousands of dollars if one of the tenants of your religion is that you cannot serve in a church in a capacity other than Sunday School teacher?
Maybe they wanted to be missionaries (and off the subject - I am getting tired of every single time I hear of a distant relative going to some place remotely interesting it is always on a mission trip. Can't my people leave the proselytizing off for one freaking vacation? On a related note: You must all watch "The Invisible Man" - I want to take at least five minutes with each of you and sit and talk about how the introduction of Bobby and Darien into your life will bring you immense joy and peace and also red-eyed writhing on the ground).
I have no idea what I was talking about. Oh yeah -- so I would go to these 19 and 20 year old wide-eyed Christian Counselors with lists of stuff I would read and not understand and bless them -- they were not prepared for a twelve year old with specific demands and an eye for the lurid.
It is more like a moral minority - they just happen to be in charge and controlling the information that is fed to the public at large.
It's not like this is the first time this has happened. But today I was reading an article about "Kinsey" and the current climate of sexual suppression in the popular media and in The New York Times and the writer made a point about how the moral minority (OH! MORAL ELITE!) want to stop all references to any form of nonbiblical sex...
And I had to wonder what Bible they were reading. Maybe there is a new one that has been censored cause -outside of certain fanfics - the Bible has more and various sex in it than anything I have ever read.
Trust me. When I was a kid I had to go to church camp and at church camp you are only allowed to read the Bible and books about the Bible and the Bible was always soooo much more interesting with its whores and incest and King David running around Mad Pimping.
I learned about bestiality from the Bible. I never would have thought of that - I am notoriously uncreative when it comes to the subject - but there was one of those warnings about it in one of those long lists of warnings and so I asked a camp counselor what specifically was being referred to here. Now you have to understand - these camp counselors were students culled from the nearby Bible College. The men were all gonna be youth or music ministers and hopefully work their way up to one day lead a church of their own and the women were all either gonna marry a preacher or lead a choir or... actually - I have no idea what the women were doing there. Why would you go to a Bible College that cost thousands and thousands of dollars if one of the tenants of your religion is that you cannot serve in a church in a capacity other than Sunday School teacher?
Maybe they wanted to be missionaries (and off the subject - I am getting tired of every single time I hear of a distant relative going to some place remotely interesting it is always on a mission trip. Can't my people leave the proselytizing off for one freaking vacation? On a related note: You must all watch "The Invisible Man" - I want to take at least five minutes with each of you and sit and talk about how the introduction of Bobby and Darien into your life will bring you immense joy and peace and also red-eyed writhing on the ground).
I have no idea what I was talking about. Oh yeah -- so I would go to these 19 and 20 year old wide-eyed Christian Counselors with lists of stuff I would read and not understand and bless them -- they were not prepared for a twelve year old with specific demands and an eye for the lurid.
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 09:33 pm (UTC)I could TOTALLY travel the country with DVDs and fic. I think it could be beneficial to the masses!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 09:37 pm (UTC)I just had a conversation recently with someone about "family values" in the Bible. My questions was, which ones? Would that be the ones where Lot offered his daughters up to be raped so his guests wouldn't be? Or them having sex with him after wandering around for a few years so they could have kids? Or Abraham nearly sacrificing his son Isaac to God? Or Ham getting his dad drunk so he could show his friends what he looked like naked? (That's one I could never understand. Noah was, what, 500 years old at that point? And you want to see him naked? Not a lot to do for hobbies after the flood, huh? I think that's why all the bestiality became such an issue. There's just you, lots of animals, your parents and siblings on a boat for over a month. And they didn't even have Scrabble!) Sara making Abraham bang her maid so he can have a son, then throwing the maid and son out when she finally gets knocked up with her own?
Depravity is a product of modern life? Yeah, sure, you betcha.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-11 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:44 pm (UTC)I wrote my first pornographic fics in my head during Yom Kippur service, alternating between figuring out what the plotline would be and whether the Jews would invent a layer of hell just for me for thinking of this during YOM KIPPUR, and then they'd hit one of the parts of the service talking about moral weakness and it'd be like "...Could you give an example of that? Paint the big picture?"
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 09:43 pm (UTC)---
Reminds me of an incident in the early 1980s when books where being taken off a school library's bookshelves (against district bylaws) on account of their indecency, and the school librarian who blew the whistle was at a hearing on the matter.
Well, most of the boardmembers were all for keeping those books off the shelves and were about to formalize it when the librarian said that she wanted to issue a challenge to a book, and desribed (in salacious detail) the contents. And yes, she had a copy of it right here so that this could be verified. Huge kerfluffle. The board and the assembled audience members are adamant, that yes, this filthy book MUST come off the shelves immediately lest young minds be corrupted.
She opened her satchel and pulled out the KJV.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 01:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 09:53 pm (UTC)That was several years before my parents became born again and our church life switched from the nice, well-dressed people with the solid music program to the wacky, falling-down, speaking in tongues people who hosted the...wait for it...traveling performance of the puppet ministry during the third night of which I accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior in an attempt to keep up with my brown-nosing little sister who'd done it the night before to great, heaping praise from our parents.
Of course, this was also the church who hosted the traveling Christian theater group made up of American and international twenty-somethings who stayed at our house for a week or more when I was twelve and who may have been all Jesus-y, but who were a *hell* of a lot of fun to hang out with. I cried when they drove off in their beat-up van. The second group from the same program who came to stay six months later weren't as much fun, but did include a woman who didn't travel on with the group when they left because she'd broken her ankle. Instead, she stayed with us for months, got a job locally and eventually her own apartment and at some point became my mother's first (to my knowledge) lesbian lover. There was eventually scandal and accusations of demon possession and threats against my father's job as a public school teacher. Good times, good times. Someday I may write a book.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:57 pm (UTC)Would that be the Covenant Players? They used to stay at our house, too, when I was growing up (for a while, my Presbyterian preacher dad was their local contact person, so when the van broke down and they needed somewhere to sleep or put on an emergency performance for repair money . . .).
However, we never had anything nearly as interesting as the Player-turned-houseguest-turned-Mom's-lesbian-lover story!
You should definitely write that book, one of these days!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 03:23 am (UTC)However, we never had anything nearly as interesting as the Player-turned-houseguest-turned-Mom's-lesbian-lover story!
Yes, well, I don't imagine that happened very often. Pity.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-19 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:04 pm (UTC)Exactly! And I'm imagining a 12 year old staring up with big eyes while some camp counsellor stammered and blushed and then ran off for cold showers and some serious praying time.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:18 pm (UTC)Also - a part I failed to mention - they could always tell me to ask my uncle. He was usually Camp Dean the weeks I would attend and since I *knew* the question had to do with sex and I would rather die than discuss that with my uncle - I'd go along with dropping it.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:42 pm (UTC)Whores, incest, human/angel crossbreeding... the Bible has it all, man.
There's so much sex in the Bible that any across-board ban of 'indecent material' would have to include the Bible or it'd just be plain hypocritial.
Not that they have an issue with that, of course.
dirty Church camp jokes . . . and songs!
Date: 2004-12-09 11:05 pm (UTC)1) Cain (he wasn't Abel)
2) Noah (he had an Ark-full)
3) Moses (he took two tablets)
4) Samson (he brought the house down)
5) Balaam (he couldn't move his ass)
The first two are Genesis, third is from Exodus, fourth is from Judges, and of course the fifth one, the story of Balaam and his ass, is from Numbers.
Re: dirty Church camp jokes . . . and songs!
Date: 2005-01-06 06:12 am (UTC)Q. What stretches more, skin or rubber?
A. Skin, Balaam tied his ass to a tree and walked 40 miles.
...or something.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:57 pm (UTC)I'm not Christian, so this is the only part I can comment on, but I heartily agree. :) I was thinking of doing a "My fandom..." thing for I-Man. Like: "My fandon has more groping than Starsky and Hutch" for example.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 11:28 pm (UTC)Oh...and a bit of pimping/recommendation if you don't mind. I've actually started a fan-art/fic community based on the Invisible man --
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 01:30 am (UTC)My favorite bible pimp/whore story
Date: 2004-12-10 03:56 pm (UTC)19:25 But the men wouldn't listen to him:
so the man laid hold of his concubine, and
brought her out to them; and they had sex with
her, and abused her all night until the morning:
and when the day began to dawn, they let her
go.
19:26 Then came the woman in the dawning
of the day, and fell down at the door of the
man's house where her lord was, until it was
light.
19:27 Her lord rose up in the morning,
and opened the doors of the house, and went
out to go his way; and behold, the woman his
concubine was fallen down at the door of the
house, with her hands on the threshold.
19:28 He said to her, “Get up, and let us be
going!” but no one answered. Then he took her
up on the donkey; and the man rose up, and
went to his place.
19:29 When he was come into his house, he
took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine,
and divided her, limb by limb, into twelve
pieces, and sent her throughout all the borders
of Israel.
19:30 It was so, that all who saw it said,
“There was no such deed done nor seen from
the day that the children of Israel came up out
of the land of Egypt to this day! Consider it,
take counsel, and speak.”
To paraphrase: Yeah, I know you've been raped all night and that kinda sucks, but when I tell you to move your ass whore, you better move it....or I will cut you.
Re: My favorite bible pimp/whore story
Date: 2004-12-10 03:58 pm (UTC)Mom will want some religious references.
Re: My favorite bible pimp/whore story
Date: 2004-12-10 09:09 pm (UTC)Kinda like white and Labor Day.
Re: My favorite bible pimp/whore story
Date: 2004-12-10 10:35 pm (UTC)