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First things first: I am not computer savvy. I am not even all that program savvy when we talk about programs and such that I have used for years. Trust me - if there is a button to handle a task, I know the 12 step work-around and am totally ignorant of the fact that the button even exists.
Hence, Disclaimer: Any technical terms I get correct is due to luck. Any technical terms that I get incorrect... well do me a favor - assume *everything* is incorrect until proven true.
So, if you are like me you have a certain fondness for a little hobby I call, "Watchin' Stuff." If you are like me, you also give little thought to whether or not there are black bars on top of and below the stuff you watch. You might notice it more when you watch a movie or when you are at a party and want to appear all snooty and smart about movies (filmedjucated, if you will) and say things like it is a travesty to watch "Die Hard" in anything but the widescreen version as the creator intended. Then you flick your nose in the air and brush off some imaginary dust from your smoking jacket and a woman in a severe black bob and bright red lipstick hands you a martini and everyone laughs and it sounds like glass breaking. Outside of this occurrance, the subject probably isn't coming up all that much.
Unless you decide to vid. If you decide to vid then someone at some point will say two words to you and those words should strike fear and dispair into your heart. Those words should chill you to the bone and cause a strong woman to weep. Those words will keep you up at night and they will break you.
The words that I write of here, my friends, those words are Aspect Ratio.
Webster's defines aspect ratio as the specific point of any frame image where a vidder will, happily and with a song in her heart, rather fall upon a sword (and failing that, the sharp edge of a copier will do nicely) than fool with this fucking thing one second longer.
While I tend to agree with this definition, I think Webster's is being overly dramatic (as is his wont). Aspect Ratio is the word we use to describe what is going on here:
note: for dramatic purposes, please pretend the role of Vidder A and Vidder B are being played by puppets
Vidder A: Hey Vidder B, what's up.
Vidder B: Oh, not much vidder A. I'm working on my vid and it just looks funky.
Vidder A: How so B?
Vidder B: Well A, I am glad you asked. See that dude right there?
[Vidder B dramatically points to character in vid, wire controlling Vidder B's arm snaps and the studio audience ignores as they understand intent and all. Wow. I really love this studio audience. You guys are great]
Vidder A: The tall skinny fella?
Vidder B: Yeah.
Vidder A: He's kinda hairy but I don't see the problem.
Vidder B: Well, see that tall skinny fella is Gimli.*
AND SCENE!
*See, he is a DWARF!!! But he looks tall and skinny cause the aspect ratio is off! Geddit? See? No? Do not make me bring out more puppets.
Let us discuss for a moment. Once upon a time, there were movies and there was television. At the movie theater, the rectangle that made up the screen was much longer than it was tall.
The rectangle that made up your television set was not nearly shaped like a movie screen. Way back then, televisions all came in different sizes, but one thing was always consistant and that was the ratio of the height versus the width of the screen on all sets was the same (ratio of course is from the Latin word rat which means "small vermin who will fuck up your pre-algebra grade point average because you will never ever never understand probability, you brain damaged git").
Every show that you watched on your television filled the entire screen (remember this - "filled the entire screen" as it will figure in very prominently when we explain what full screen means). The reason, of course, is because it was against the law to not fill an entire screen of television under the Conservation and Regulation of Broadcast Signal Screen Space Act of 1952.
This was mainly because at that time, unfilled areas on a television screen would emit invisible spectrum light waves that were widely believed to cause people to become Communists. However, in 1971 a young scientist named Emmet Brown was successful in creating the first safely letterboxed image.
What did this technology do? Well - it enabled a television screen to have a black bar put across the very top and across the very bottom. This caused the viewable area of the television to actually shrink - but only if you were thinking in, you know, real numbers. If you abandoned the shackles of reality, you would realize that these bars actually increased the viewable area as now the rectangle that made up the screen was much wider than it was taller. Like a MOVIE THEATER only teeeny tiny.
Now as you all know, Congress in 1989, in a misguided attempt at deregulating the industry passed the Letterbox Act of 1992 which required all genre television shows to be broadcast for at least one season in full screen resolution and then to make a switch to this new widescreen technology after one season thru the series run because that just makes tons of sense.
What does this mean to you - a vidder? Well it means that if you are vidding Farscape then you have season one thru season 3 in full screen resolution. Full screen means that the show fills the screen. Now, just to make this complicated, I only mean that full screen fills the screen if you have a tradional size television.
If you have one of those fancy schmancy new fangled television with the wiiiide sides and the high def and the "oh look at me! I have a great television set and poor Liz is adjusting the brightness on her sanyo on a daily basis! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!" well you are just a Bastard Person!
Cause see there are now 2 different ratios televisions and television shows can come in (and again width v height) 4:3 (traditional TV, full screen) and 16:9 (widescreen).
If you are watching Season 4 of Farscape, you will note that unlike season 1-3, season 4 is widescreen. The black bars on your television is the letterboxing. This means that the television that you have is really a 4:3 screen ratio but the show you are watching is a show made at 16:9 and the bars are compensating for that fact.
If you have a 16:9 television and are watching Farscape Season one, then the black bars along the sides of the screen are called You Need to Shut Up About Your Fancy-Ass TV. Seriously. I am not kidding.
When you vid 16:9 source in a 4:3 frame, what happens is that the image is stretched and suddenly Fred goes from being tall and slender to completely disappearing. It is scary. Also - kind of like forshadowing for Angel Season 5. No? Just me? Fine. The big deal about Aspect Ratio is that all of these TV actress's are skinny enough. If you stretch them out anymore then terrible horrible things could happen to them. Just don't.
Conversely, if you accidentally squeeze fullscreen 4:3 footage into a 16:9 letterboxing, you have finally made the Olsen Twins look healthy. Congratulations.
Hence, Disclaimer: Any technical terms I get correct is due to luck. Any technical terms that I get incorrect... well do me a favor - assume *everything* is incorrect until proven true.
So, if you are like me you have a certain fondness for a little hobby I call, "Watchin' Stuff." If you are like me, you also give little thought to whether or not there are black bars on top of and below the stuff you watch. You might notice it more when you watch a movie or when you are at a party and want to appear all snooty and smart about movies (filmedjucated, if you will) and say things like it is a travesty to watch "Die Hard" in anything but the widescreen version as the creator intended. Then you flick your nose in the air and brush off some imaginary dust from your smoking jacket and a woman in a severe black bob and bright red lipstick hands you a martini and everyone laughs and it sounds like glass breaking. Outside of this occurrance, the subject probably isn't coming up all that much.
Unless you decide to vid. If you decide to vid then someone at some point will say two words to you and those words should strike fear and dispair into your heart. Those words should chill you to the bone and cause a strong woman to weep. Those words will keep you up at night and they will break you.
The words that I write of here, my friends, those words are Aspect Ratio.
Webster's defines aspect ratio as the specific point of any frame image where a vidder will, happily and with a song in her heart, rather fall upon a sword (and failing that, the sharp edge of a copier will do nicely) than fool with this fucking thing one second longer.
While I tend to agree with this definition, I think Webster's is being overly dramatic (as is his wont). Aspect Ratio is the word we use to describe what is going on here:
note: for dramatic purposes, please pretend the role of Vidder A and Vidder B are being played by puppets
Vidder A: Hey Vidder B, what's up.
Vidder B: Oh, not much vidder A. I'm working on my vid and it just looks funky.
Vidder A: How so B?
Vidder B: Well A, I am glad you asked. See that dude right there?
[Vidder B dramatically points to character in vid, wire controlling Vidder B's arm snaps and the studio audience ignores as they understand intent and all. Wow. I really love this studio audience. You guys are great]
Vidder A: The tall skinny fella?
Vidder B: Yeah.
Vidder A: He's kinda hairy but I don't see the problem.
Vidder B: Well, see that tall skinny fella is Gimli.*
AND SCENE!
*See, he is a DWARF!!! But he looks tall and skinny cause the aspect ratio is off! Geddit? See? No? Do not make me bring out more puppets.
Let us discuss for a moment. Once upon a time, there were movies and there was television. At the movie theater, the rectangle that made up the screen was much longer than it was tall.
The rectangle that made up your television set was not nearly shaped like a movie screen. Way back then, televisions all came in different sizes, but one thing was always consistant and that was the ratio of the height versus the width of the screen on all sets was the same (ratio of course is from the Latin word rat which means "small vermin who will fuck up your pre-algebra grade point average because you will never ever never understand probability, you brain damaged git").
Every show that you watched on your television filled the entire screen (remember this - "filled the entire screen" as it will figure in very prominently when we explain what full screen means). The reason, of course, is because it was against the law to not fill an entire screen of television under the Conservation and Regulation of Broadcast Signal Screen Space Act of 1952.
This was mainly because at that time, unfilled areas on a television screen would emit invisible spectrum light waves that were widely believed to cause people to become Communists. However, in 1971 a young scientist named Emmet Brown was successful in creating the first safely letterboxed image.
What did this technology do? Well - it enabled a television screen to have a black bar put across the very top and across the very bottom. This caused the viewable area of the television to actually shrink - but only if you were thinking in, you know, real numbers. If you abandoned the shackles of reality, you would realize that these bars actually increased the viewable area as now the rectangle that made up the screen was much wider than it was taller. Like a MOVIE THEATER only teeeny tiny.
Now as you all know, Congress in 1989, in a misguided attempt at deregulating the industry passed the Letterbox Act of 1992 which required all genre television shows to be broadcast for at least one season in full screen resolution and then to make a switch to this new widescreen technology after one season thru the series run because that just makes tons of sense.
What does this mean to you - a vidder? Well it means that if you are vidding Farscape then you have season one thru season 3 in full screen resolution. Full screen means that the show fills the screen. Now, just to make this complicated, I only mean that full screen fills the screen if you have a tradional size television.
If you have one of those fancy schmancy new fangled television with the wiiiide sides and the high def and the "oh look at me! I have a great television set and poor Liz is adjusting the brightness on her sanyo on a daily basis! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!" well you are just a Bastard Person!
Cause see there are now 2 different ratios televisions and television shows can come in (and again width v height) 4:3 (traditional TV, full screen) and 16:9 (widescreen).
If you are watching Season 4 of Farscape, you will note that unlike season 1-3, season 4 is widescreen. The black bars on your television is the letterboxing. This means that the television that you have is really a 4:3 screen ratio but the show you are watching is a show made at 16:9 and the bars are compensating for that fact.
If you have a 16:9 television and are watching Farscape Season one, then the black bars along the sides of the screen are called You Need to Shut Up About Your Fancy-Ass TV. Seriously. I am not kidding.
When you vid 16:9 source in a 4:3 frame, what happens is that the image is stretched and suddenly Fred goes from being tall and slender to completely disappearing. It is scary. Also - kind of like forshadowing for Angel Season 5. No? Just me? Fine. The big deal about Aspect Ratio is that all of these TV actress's are skinny enough. If you stretch them out anymore then terrible horrible things could happen to them. Just don't.
Conversely, if you accidentally squeeze fullscreen 4:3 footage into a 16:9 letterboxing, you have finally made the Olsen Twins look healthy. Congratulations.
