Here's My Ten Cents, My Two Cents is Free

I'm having so much fun remastering "Without me" it should be illegal. Well, other than the issues with frame rates and codecs and tech stuff that makes me bang my head against a wall. And really, I can't complain about that because thanks to tireless support and help from killabeez and sockkpuppett and elz for identifying the problem in the first place, all systems appear to be go. I also learned in the wee hours last night that sometimes if Premiere really wants to do something, perhaps I should defer to the program and let it.

So the remaster continues and really - the funniest thing about this vid is the fact that I have to compulsively sing it while laying clips. At some point this morning drdawn complained that I should not do that - it is just embarrassing. Which I find deeply ironic, seeing as how her chief issue with her braces are that now she can't rap like she used to. Riiiiggghht. I challenged her to a free-style battle and if we were ever going to do that phone post thingie, it would be for that. Fortunately, for the world, neither of us are drunk enough to even seriously consider it.

I feel pretty good, pretty solid right now on the whole vidding front. Which is an improvement. bonibaru had an interesting post about it this morning and I have to say that I've gone through exactly what she is going through right now. It also made me think about my tendency to freeze after praise. Not that praise isn't good, but it is difficult to process and accept, at least for me. I'm not that used to being good at something and told that I am good at something - which is not an indictment on the way I was raised, or poor little orphan sisabet who was so unappreciated her whole life. It is just me - I'm not good at many things - but I am proficient at a lot of things. I am capable, but not brilliant. The things that I do well - really well at, typically, are only valued by me. So when I hear that someone else appreciated something I made - there is always this warning bell in my head - that it is just luck and I'll never be able to duplicate it and eventually everyone will know. Which is totally my own issue.

I was telling killabeez last night that I am so glad I was not at Escapade when "Closer" played. Part of me isn't - part of me wanted to be there - but the majority of me concedes that there is no way I could have ever handled it. I was a nervous wreck sitting at home thinking about it and I never would have sent the vid without gentle insistence from sockkpuppett - I trust her opinion and the fact that she was going to walk the vid into the con herself meant so much.

And the reaction was overwhelming. Maybe not for anyone else, but for me it was. I mean, I squealed over it, don't get me wrong, but it also terrified me. And if I hadn't been working on finishing "Cowboy" that weekend, I have no idea how any of it would have turned out. But "Cowboy" was shaping up to be the exactly the vid I wanted it to be (in a way that "Closer" just never did) and so I could just not think about it and work. And at Vividcon, Lum paid me the ultimate compliment by using "Cowboy" in her panel and I almost teared up. Hell, I was apparently an emotional mess at Vividcon, in retrospect. I promise to be calmer next year. I spent the whole first day just shaking.

But it gets easier - this moving on and processing and I am becoming more confident in my vidding. I'm becoming more attuned to what will work and what will not work for me as a project - what my voice looks like and how to get that across. And I'm moving into other fandoms, which is huge to me. "Queer as Folk" for now, but there will be that "Farscape" vid and the "Dead Like Me" vid wrenlet inspired and Dawn has this idea for "The Hot Chick" that really must be done and don't even get me started on "Smallville" cause that is just so very pretty and if I could ever figure out what the freaking hell is going on on "Jeremiah" I am pretty certain that Peter Mulvey's "Out Here" would work in that fandom. The show looks like that song. I should probably send it to killabeez now that I think about it. Oh, and let us never forget the Highlander vid that lives in my head to Erin McGowan's "Blackbirds." Cause I love that imaginary vid intensely.

So, I'm pretty happy right now and I know more today than I did yesterday. Which, I guess is the entire point.

I need a non-bitter vidder icon for times like these. Oh, and ya'll should all go and love on undercoverbro cause he is cool. That is all.

QaF US Vid Rec...

I really don't get a chance to say that very much - but keewick just posted an ensemble vid: "Who Will Save Your Soul" and damn. The girl gets it and this vid is a reminder about what makes the show more than just hot naked men. Cause, as much as I like the hot naked men, I probably would not spend this much time on them as characters if there wasn't an emotional connection (I say probably). She gives you that connection in droves.

Go check it out:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/keewick/5686.html