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Conspiracy Theory
Nov. 10th, 2003 07:08 amIt has come to my attention that various forces are wondering about the recent spate of Vanity Fair covers - that someone is responsible for this.
I have an admission right now. I think it is me. I'm waiting until January to be certain - cause I think Vanity Fair is after me personally as a reader.
I have no idea why. This started in college - occasionally there would be an article I wanted to read but usually I would be all "bleargh!" about the cover and not spend the ungodly amount that magazine costs.
Apparently they have learned from the error of their ways. Last month this "Force Liz to Buy a Subscription" campaign started in earnest. They put Willie Nelson and Dr. Dre on the cover. Coincidence? Or scary attempt to seduce me to the glossy? Cause, it's gotta be me, right? No one else is having Dre/Willie joneses - just me? I'm fairly certain Dre/Willie is a fandom of one. Since they couldn't be too obvious last month about their efforts (why alienate a nation of readers in the pursuit of one) they had to put a bunch of other people on the cover as well. So that threw me.
Until this month. Gale Harold laid out on the cover like he is my prize for being a good girl in life. It is a freaking conspiracy. I fear Vanity Fair. Again - they stick a bunch of other people on the cover so America won't suspect the true agenda of this magazine - OH!! and they make Randy Harrison look totally different so I don't recognize him right away and give him bad hair (sorry to everyone that likes the hair - I don't- it creeps me out).
So if next month, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, David Boreanez and James Marsters all show up on the cover, under the caption "Lethal Weapon Spike Angel Connection" then it is certain. Until then, I am afraid. Very afraid.
I have an admission right now. I think it is me. I'm waiting until January to be certain - cause I think Vanity Fair is after me personally as a reader.
I have no idea why. This started in college - occasionally there would be an article I wanted to read but usually I would be all "bleargh!" about the cover and not spend the ungodly amount that magazine costs.
Apparently they have learned from the error of their ways. Last month this "Force Liz to Buy a Subscription" campaign started in earnest. They put Willie Nelson and Dr. Dre on the cover. Coincidence? Or scary attempt to seduce me to the glossy? Cause, it's gotta be me, right? No one else is having Dre/Willie joneses - just me? I'm fairly certain Dre/Willie is a fandom of one. Since they couldn't be too obvious last month about their efforts (why alienate a nation of readers in the pursuit of one) they had to put a bunch of other people on the cover as well. So that threw me.
Until this month. Gale Harold laid out on the cover like he is my prize for being a good girl in life. It is a freaking conspiracy. I fear Vanity Fair. Again - they stick a bunch of other people on the cover so America won't suspect the true agenda of this magazine - OH!! and they make Randy Harrison look totally different so I don't recognize him right away and give him bad hair (sorry to everyone that likes the hair - I don't- it creeps me out).
So if next month, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, David Boreanez and James Marsters all show up on the cover, under the caption "Lethal Weapon Spike Angel Connection" then it is certain. Until then, I am afraid. Very afraid.
