Oct. 13th, 2003

sisabet: (highschoolconfidential  by Valerie)
Health: One doctor appointment down, one Z-pack almost completed and one headache still firmly in place, but much improved. Seriously. I can only feel the pain around the edges now. So, it is like I know I have a headache - but it only hurts like *here* and *here* and before it was just this pain that was everywhere. Some I'm rather happy about that.

Angel: Yes I saw "Just Rewards." And I have deep serious thoughts on the nature of redemption and what it means to be damned and that Spike is just as damned as Angel (which was the gist of "Closer" - no matter what - they are damned) and I planned on quoting "God doesn't want you." and then using that to get into Darla, and what is up with her all full of light and wearing a matching sweater-set of purity now, cause I have an answer to that as well, and then I just got tired and sick and now it seems rather anti-climatic. So I'm just gonna sit and wait for next week. But I loved it. I really did. And I am the ultimate non-critical fangirl cause I even think Angel's new hair is fine. It is sweet. Bless his heart, it's probably the only sweet thing he'll have left if he stays at W&H. My poor, dead, gay, damned vampire with his gelled and smooth hair. And I need another word for "damned" and can't come up with one. Give me a break. My head hurts. Well, my head hurts around the edges, but we have already covered that.

Also - I have decided that the inside of Angel's bathroom is *exactly* like Brian Kinney's. Why do I make this assumption? Other than, "Because I want it to be?" - Dudes obviously have the same decorator and tastes. I mean, just because Brian does not have some old weapons collection now doesn't mean he won't someday. He's only 32. I mean, I bet Angel didn't have much of a weapons collection when he was 32. I bet Angel was one of those "My body *is* a weapon" people back in the early vamp days. Like Spike, but scary. And I'm certain that Brian believes his body is a weapon, only not like that...or maybe, yeah, exactly like that. Ohh...good thoughts, happy thoughts going with the flow...and exhale. Whew. Anyway - now that Brian is Batman, I'm certain that a weapons collection is bound to follow, further proof that Angel is Brian Kinney.

Vidding: I have a ton of projects I could work on. Due to various sick and tiredness and the dreaded clipping and the fact that remastering a vid is just boring and that I've been on a fic-kick and what-not and where-with-all, nothing was getting accomplished. Well - other than constant drool over the project with [livejournal.com profile] sockkpuppett - but other than that - nada.

So I just chilled. I read. I listened to music. TOM on loop - but occasionally breaking it up with CDs. I was at a CD shop down the street from my house a couple of weeks ago and I picked up a bunch of stuff from the Used Bin. Off the top of my head I got The Boo Radleys, some Chemical Brothers, and The Black Crowes cause I was in the mood for "Remedy." And something else. I bought another CD and I can't remember now what it was. Damn. This will drive me nuts.

Anyhow, (I'm going somewhere with this. Not anyplace interesting, but somewhere I swear) I'm listening to The Boo Radley's "Kingsize" and the first freaking song hits me and I'm all "Well, this is Brian" - not even paying attention to the lyrics really, just the music. It sounded like Brian. And the song was interesting and had these changes and I just adore a band with a horn section and I could go on. But that was it. The song made me think of Brian, the lyrics turned out to be very appropriate, but big deal. I do that with everything I listen to - I'm always thinking - "Ohh what is this about?", "Who is this about?", and "Are they shirtless?" I have an almost finished Justin-Vid to "Epic" sitting on my hard-drive for over a month and I *swore* no more QaF projects for a while since I have other stuff I should do. Like finish that vid. Or something.

And that really was it. Until [livejournal.com profile] viola69 and I hijacked [livejournal.com profile] valereix's LJ the other night talking about (among other things) stomach-flu and Justin, deserted island plane!crash fic (and if you haven't read it - go now. I love some deserted island fic, plus there is snark) and what B/J kiss we were. Apparently there is a quiz. And that got me to thinking about the end scene in 2x19. You know what scene I am talking about. The "Take a shower, you stink" scene. And I love that scene. It gets to me on multiple dominance, aggression, possession, pain, hurt, desperation, and anger levels. I find, for a scene that offers no sexual release, it to be tremendously fulfilling. So now I'm thinking about that scene and I still have that song in the back of my head and lately Dawn has been taking old vids that I have made and pulling them into WMM on her laptop and changing the song to something else I vidded. All to mock me and because this poster at Nummy Treat said she did it with her finished vids (re-encoded them with a different song as the soundtrack) and it worked out much better than the original vid. Which just floored me. Seriously. Mouth hanging open and head shaking slowly. But I digress (even more) - the point is Dawn decided that yes - I had been screwing up all my vids - "Why look! '66' set to "Golden Years" is actually *much* better."

So I'm sitting at my computer and I pull up the end scene to 2x19 that I have clipped. And I clipped it without sound. So I decide to pull a Dawn and just add a soundtrack - and I pulled in this song from The Boo Radley's disc. And damn if it didn't work. It really worked. And the next think I know, I've got the razor tool out and I'm slicing up the scene and moving this here and that there, and dude it works. And since I still have "Battleflag" and "Epic" on my harddrive, I have practically every Brian scene already clipped and I just started pulling stuff into the timeline and I was making a vid. By accident. I had a full working draft before I even realized I was vidding. And then I revised. And then it worked. And Premiere was cooperative. And I did stuff with color and light and keyframes! Me! Keyframes! And I made a title in Premiere, and it is ugly and I will have to redo it, but still. *I* did it. And it was fun. I had fun at my computer and I wasn't reading gay vampire porn!

So I'm kinda happy.

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