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sisabetSo, I should be asleep but instead I want to post this so I remember it tomorrow so when work gets dull and/or I get angry about The Stupid, I have this to think about:
We've covered turning into what you hunt - we saw explicitly what it did to Gordon and last week Dean learned that Gordon probably had it easy. There is totally a vid there, all I am sayin,' especially if you take into account that *something* is going on with Sam. I mean, it could just be that I *want* something to be going on with Sam, but hell - it is just too narratively rich for my total emo-porn show not to go there.
*believes in show and tinkerbell and one day tinkerbell will be on show and cry single perfect tear*
*claps*
Sam. Oh, Sam. OH SAMMY SAM SAM SAM! Dean was right all along, dude. You really need to get laid. Also, out of 3 seasons, there have been maybe 5 total girls you've shown some kind of even middling attraction to, 1. Jess (of course) 2. Repressed Preacher's Daughter who's Libido was Killing People (or something, I tuned out most of the exposition) 3. The Art-Dealer from Provenance and while she isn't going to fit the pattern I am about to lay-out, she was amazingly and frighteningly beautiful, so there is that. 4. A werewolf and now 5. Bela.
Have I mentioned I dislike Bela and I think it is mostly because she spells her name incorrectly? Back to the subject at, ahem, hand: A girl with a killer libido, a werewolf and a sociopath - 3/5 and to be fair, I think Jess was probably a bit of a hellcat herself. I think Sam likes bad girls. Someone should run a ficathon: Sam Gets Did by the Bad Girls of Fandom. Like Faith. Ohhh, Lilah...
*imagines Kara Thrace/Sam Winchester*
*head explodes*
*realizes that Kara is A LOT like Dean*
Huh.
Speaking of Dean - a lot has been said everywhere about his nightmare and giving voice to the resentment he naturally has and yet never explicitly (and whoa doggies, that was explicit) acknowledges about John. What is killing me (and again, there has to be a vid here) is that when Sam died and Dean had that "moment in the garden" conversation with his corpse where he basically states his sole purpose it to protect Sam, a purpose given to him by their father, I don't think Dean actually thinks his next action is a selfish one. I think he thinks of making the deal with the crossroads demon as inevitable at that point. Sam is dead, Dean is alive - the expectation, the requirement, the absolute certainty is that if Dean can change this, he will.
So, while John trading his soul for Dean's life is selfish and Dean feels that and knows it, I don't think he sees his deal (at least back then) in exactly the same way. Poor Bobby does, and when he confronts Dean in the junkyard, I think Dean can see it intellectually, at least. What really breaks my heart about the entire damned thing is when John has his final moment in AHBL 2 and he gives Dean that literally shining look of pride...
Okay, what the fuck is Dean thinking in that moment? Cause, before I was all thinking it was a moment between them as men, as equals, a father telling a son that he loves him and is proud of him and is at peace, I am not nearly as fucked up as Dean. Dean - Dean is beyond fucked up and yeah, poor Sam, cause that level of issues can be exhausting. Where was I? Oh right - so Dean, fresh off trading his immortal and ever-lasting soul for Sam's life, has a moment of glowy warmth with his departed father where the over-riding emotion coming off his father is pride and...
John is proud Dean traded his soul for Sam's life. I mean - I don't think that was it, but I am a fairly healthy person. How did Dean interpret that moment? Cause, there really is a vid there.
We've covered turning into what you hunt - we saw explicitly what it did to Gordon and last week Dean learned that Gordon probably had it easy. There is totally a vid there, all I am sayin,' especially if you take into account that *something* is going on with Sam. I mean, it could just be that I *want* something to be going on with Sam, but hell - it is just too narratively rich for my total emo-porn show not to go there.
*believes in show and tinkerbell and one day tinkerbell will be on show and cry single perfect tear*
*claps*
Sam. Oh, Sam. OH SAMMY SAM SAM SAM! Dean was right all along, dude. You really need to get laid. Also, out of 3 seasons, there have been maybe 5 total girls you've shown some kind of even middling attraction to, 1. Jess (of course) 2. Repressed Preacher's Daughter who's Libido was Killing People (or something, I tuned out most of the exposition) 3. The Art-Dealer from Provenance and while she isn't going to fit the pattern I am about to lay-out, she was amazingly and frighteningly beautiful, so there is that. 4. A werewolf and now 5. Bela.
Have I mentioned I dislike Bela and I think it is mostly because she spells her name incorrectly? Back to the subject at, ahem, hand: A girl with a killer libido, a werewolf and a sociopath - 3/5 and to be fair, I think Jess was probably a bit of a hellcat herself. I think Sam likes bad girls. Someone should run a ficathon: Sam Gets Did by the Bad Girls of Fandom. Like Faith. Ohhh, Lilah...
*imagines Kara Thrace/Sam Winchester*
*head explodes*
*realizes that Kara is A LOT like Dean*
Huh.
Speaking of Dean - a lot has been said everywhere about his nightmare and giving voice to the resentment he naturally has and yet never explicitly (and whoa doggies, that was explicit) acknowledges about John. What is killing me (and again, there has to be a vid here) is that when Sam died and Dean had that "moment in the garden" conversation with his corpse where he basically states his sole purpose it to protect Sam, a purpose given to him by their father, I don't think Dean actually thinks his next action is a selfish one. I think he thinks of making the deal with the crossroads demon as inevitable at that point. Sam is dead, Dean is alive - the expectation, the requirement, the absolute certainty is that if Dean can change this, he will.
So, while John trading his soul for Dean's life is selfish and Dean feels that and knows it, I don't think he sees his deal (at least back then) in exactly the same way. Poor Bobby does, and when he confronts Dean in the junkyard, I think Dean can see it intellectually, at least. What really breaks my heart about the entire damned thing is when John has his final moment in AHBL 2 and he gives Dean that literally shining look of pride...
Okay, what the fuck is Dean thinking in that moment? Cause, before I was all thinking it was a moment between them as men, as equals, a father telling a son that he loves him and is proud of him and is at peace, I am not nearly as fucked up as Dean. Dean - Dean is beyond fucked up and yeah, poor Sam, cause that level of issues can be exhausting. Where was I? Oh right - so Dean, fresh off trading his immortal and ever-lasting soul for Sam's life, has a moment of glowy warmth with his departed father where the over-riding emotion coming off his father is pride and...
John is proud Dean traded his soul for Sam's life. I mean - I don't think that was it, but I am a fairly healthy person. How did Dean interpret that moment? Cause, there really is a vid there.
