What is really bugging me is my complete deflatement of excitement about a particular vid idea with the realization that it *won't* be a Club Vivid vid. I was all primed to make it and then... I wasn't.
This bugs me. I think it is also indicative that I am letting the idea of the audience (This vid will go here and this vid there) drive me too much and this is possibly why I am not vidding like I was - why the rush of creativity just isn't happening. I am attempting to dictate when and where it happens and that is stifling. Maybe. Maybe I just need a candy bar...
I do think I need to step back and just stop. Stop thinking about what I am doing for any reason other than I want to do it. At least for a while.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-21 09:57 pm (UTC)This bugs me. I think it is also indicative that I am letting the idea of the audience (This vid will go here and this vid there) drive me too much and this is possibly why I am not vidding like I was - why the rush of creativity just isn't happening. I am attempting to dictate when and where it happens and that is stifling. Maybe. Maybe I just need a candy bar...
I do think I need to step back and just stop. Stop thinking about what I am doing for any reason other than I want to do it. At least for a while.