I Am Dangerous When I am Bored

[sisabet]

So - this week I have been even more random than usual. Random and thinking about bobbyhobbes. Also stalking renenet with this thing that exists in my head - this thing that exists in my head because of tzikeh.

Yes - this is all tzikeh's fault. Because I started to think about ways I could get Bobby and Darien on Fantasy Island. And then renenet mentioned it would be like Sense of Community - only without the pertinance.

And I decided it couldn't quite be exactly Fantasy Island - it will just be "Fantasy Island"like enough that it gives Darien this deja vu feeling - but everything is just a little left of center and not quite authentic.

Then the problem became - what fantasies do you grant? And I wanted to avoid slash cliches and at a certain point Bill Murray was cast as Hobbes older, black sheep brother Delbert (Del) H Hobbes. But then I realized - if you are going to all the trouble of sticking your pairing on Fantasy Island, and at *that* point you want to say "Wait - hold on. I want to avoid the slash cliches." Well that is just a little too late. The horses have not only left the barn, they died of old age 10 years ago.

cutting to protect the innocent

So either renenet or tzikeh said that Darien should suddenly be free of the gland and Bobby should suddenly have it and wow. Yes. Bobby ends up with the gland. It is very Monkey Pawish in a cheap way - which fits the

::DRUM ROLL::

Dream PENINSULA!!! Welcome.

grandiose thingamabob. So Darien and Bobby are at the Fantabulous Dream Peninsula Resort and Spa because of mysterious disappearances going back a year and also - Arnaud has some connection to it (and I just can't not throw him in here if at all possible because dude - ARNAUD). So they are not there actually chasing any specific wishes/fantasies and are unwitting in what happens next.

This is a cheap shot on my account cause I love it when they are all unwitting. It makes me happy. So they are undercover - (MICHAEL AND ELLIOT) but the Not-Quite Mr Roarke of DREAM PENINSULA will of course know this and there will be a little voice-over about this as he talks to his little dude as "Michael" and "Elliot" are getting off the boat on the pier that is very much like Fantasy Island, but just a little *off*. Darien will spare a sharp look at the little dude and his "De Boat! De Boat!" but then shrug it off.

So they find out that the gland is switched when something happens that frightens Hobbes - like Darien with the spiders - except - when does Hobbes act like Darien with the spiders? He is germ phobic for sure, but not to the extent that he would generate a ton of adrenaline and stimulate the gland. I'm thinking that before they find out about the switch, Darien is feeling pretty good and just attributing it to the weather (or not commenting on it at all, just being in a good sustained mood for once) and Bobby has a bit of a cervico-headache thing happening - travel neck perhaps? This is because I like the idea of the gland as having some kind of physiological toll - not one that is distracting, just - like someone with constant neck pain just adapts to it? That is like how it is for Darien all the time. Also - the gland contributes to nightmares (this is actually canon as far as I am concerned) so if someone can figure out where in the narrative to - ahem - insert the nightmare cliche, I would be much obliged. But that has to happen later - because first there is the big reveal.

Something big has to happen (or not big big- but big enough) so that the switch is revealed - Darien can't generate QS and Bobby goes see-thru. The only time I can really remember Bobby freaking out on the show is when he thinks Darien is seriously hurt in Brother's Keeper. But that seems trite and cliched. So possibly we should just go for it.

I want the reveal to happen- close to nighttime - so they are both freaking out and try to call in (at least reach Keep) and of course their cells do not work. Resort phones are out - a big storm is brewing (OF COURSE) and when they try to leave by land Not Mr.Roarke (he needs a name- Roanoke??) tells them the upper Peninsula floods when the weather is like this - making the resort almost an ISLAND (MUAHAHAHAHAHA).

Darien is starting to get a clue. Especially with the island crack. He is also gonna want to know exactly who the hell Roanoke is - is he the owner? the care-taker? Concierge? Higgins??

So - then we have that night - Bobby learning to use the QS (I figure he is a very physical guy - Darien uses biofeedback and meditation to control the gland and Bobby is prob familiar with both of those concepts -he has all that martial arts training - so Bobby is gonna pick up on this a hell of a lot faster than Kevin did).

Oh maybe there can be a nightmare here. Something then comforty and then awkwardy cause they are so not doing it. Yet. Always and forever Yet.

Next day - circumstances (continued flood - washed out roads - choppy seas - no phone service), continue to keep them on the island. Stuff happens - I don't know what, but B/D decide to continue what they are originally there for - tracking missing person and also - Arnaud.

At some point I want Bobby by himself at the bar. I want random employee that he flirted with when they arrived on the DREAM PENINSULA - a blonde buxom employee - to flirt with him. I want Bobby to pump her for information in his very bobbyhobbes way and then - I want her to try to return the...eh... pump... and I want the QS gland to kick in. Cause how can you have Bobby with a QS gland and *not* have that scene? It would be a crime.

Especially since that will lead directly to Bobby and Darien discussing... arousal and the gland. I want Bobby to be shocked that Darien *still* does not have that under control and that Darien is not constantly hounding the Keep about it. Personally I think Darien would rather never have sex again than actually discuss this in depth with Claire, but Bobby vows to get to the - eh - bottom (oh god I am cheesey and 12 years old in my head) of this problem (at least I did not say "root" at least I did not say "root" at least I did not say "root"...)

And then we start dealing in earnest with Bobby actually having the gland now - Darien not having the gland and the implications of what this means. This scene bothers me because there is probably going to be a fight and it started out so promising what with the sex-talk and all. But our boys are techy and touchy and a bit uncertain right now. Poor Boys.

But now Darien puts on his investigative hat and starts to figure out the problem - well, actually, he goes to the resort bar (I love the resort bar - it is in a fake hut with the sides open to the beach and the rain pours down and it is loud and so conversation is difficult - but it is very atmospheric). While drowning his sorrows he strikes up a conversation with another fellow guest - a woman of about 35. He starts to realize several clues in this conversation and finally asks the woman if she is a lady of the evening attempting to settle down for a normal life now (husband and house in suburbia) and she is so shocked she answers "yes" and Darien jumps up and shouts "I KNOW THIS" and races off into the pouring rain because I like him wet.

Side note - every single episode of Fantasy Island, ever, always featured a hooker of a certain age trying to go straight. Always.

So then it is a matter of Darien finding Bobby and explaining where/what they are and what is happening and of course Bobby has never heard of Fantasy Island. He'll think it is an X-rated movie or reality show at first and then yada yada yada - banter banter banter - they will both go after Roanoke -- using the skills that make them valuable to each other as partners in the first place (not the gland) and reinforcing the cheesey-peasyness of Fantasy Island in that the wish is never what the person really wants or needs, and everyone learns a valuable lesson about sharing.

I think it is important that if I am going to sink my characters into a formulaic and tired Guest Star of the Week program; that I actively make them follow the rules of that formula. Just because I love them does not mean they get dispensation.

Arnaud is revealed to be behind everything (Mr. Roanoke is ARNAUD BAY-BEE!) with a very silly and strange scientific explanation for how people's fantasies are becoming reality (also why there are so many missing people - Arnaud is so deliciously evil. Like God or something) and the scientific explanation will make no sense whatsoever and possibly involve a contraption of some sort with dials and lights and dude - I am turning Arnaud into Miguelito Loveless. I am . I have no excuse for ....well for any of this at all, but very little excuse for this. Anyway - there *is* a Scientic Nature to this Whammy and we as an audience accept it in its lameness because there is no Magic on this show - even when there is magic there is always some kind of Particle Acceleration Quantum Mumbo-Jumbo Memory RNA explanation.

This is where the Keep (because she has not had any contact for 3 days from Darien or Bobby - they are in the field and she knows what this *means*) is helicoptered in (specially for renenet) and explains EVERYTHING.

Darien's gland is restored and the Whammy is removed from Bobby and Bim-Bang-Boom - Normalcy is restored....

Or *is* it....

Cause I really see this as a two-parter where Bobby and Darien then are assigned to investigate mysterious rash of quickie weddings and disappearances of grooms following travel on this one particular cruise ship. While on board, Darien is stalked by Stephanie - his Cruise Director and he also has to save Bobby from the clutches of divorcee Nancy McKeon and their bartender is one cooooolllll cat....

And I am pretty certain I can work a sex scene into The PASSION SHIP story.

You know - ::sings::

The Paaassion Ship, soon it will be returninnng for youuuuu
The Passion Ship, will make all your dreams come trrrrruuuueeee