An Easy User's Guide to Vividcon:

1. First of all, see what I did in the subject line? How I just very calmly wrote "Vividcon"??? Never, ever, never do that. It is always VIVIDCON!!1!! or OMGVVC! or even OMG VVC YAY!!!!! Enthusiasm is required.

"But Liz," you say, "I am a slacker not all that...peppy and energetic. How can I handle this level of, you know, annoying WHEE?"

Well - the answer to this is simple: Booze. Lots and lots of booze. Also - keep your blood sugar stoked on delicious processed food that is high in carbs and low in everything else. Luckily the hotel is perfectly situated for both points, but just in case - one of the first things you do upon arrival is find someone making a booze run to the Jewell. Soon you too will be ready for yet another stirring round of "Lube or Not a Lube" at the room party of your choice.

2. Sometimes the hotel hosts other guests. It is important to be both polite and distant with these people and not engage them as usually it is some Youth In Christ type dealio and the mixing just can't end well. HOWEVER - every now and then some brave soul will notice that there are a lot of the ladies wearing con badges and might pull you aside and ask what kind of conference this is, exactly.

The correct answer if this occurs: Gay Porn.

3. I've seen this in other places: wear layers - and I couldn't agree more. I just think the directions should be a bit more specific: WEAR SOCKS. Actually - just have socks somewhere on your person because usually the open area outside the panel and vid show rooms is kinda hot. And outside the hotel is always hot. But the panel room where you sit and talk about really important shit is not hot. In fact it is the opposite of hot and you will not be able to think of interesting things to say if your feet are cold. In fact, if you suffer from cold feet you are liable to make really simple connections that by all rights should occur silently in your head, out loud and with massive conviction and really the fact that it is called "The Cutting Room Floor" should be obvious but MY FEET WERE COLD!

4. Do you have vids premiering in vid shows? How many and in how many shows because your level of freakout will be directly proportional to this number. Club Vivid premieres are fun but strange because here is your brand new shiny and people are all up and dancey and yet NEW VID! But you wanted people to dance to your vid so yay! But you also don't want them to spin or twirl cause what you did right here is really really cool and they might miss it. Themed show premieres are strange because sometimes you just can't make the vidshow (and any vid show you miss you will always tell yourself "I can just check that out from the con suite and watch it later" except that...well, you'll see) and you are sitting in the panel and suddenly you hear your vid and then you STOP paying attention to the panel and listening intently to gauge what the audience reaction is. This can be really rough if you are actually presenting said panel.

You'd think the Premieres show would be the end of your stress cause OMG HOW MUCH DO WE ANTICIPATE THIS SHOW? It is like our Academy Awards without having to put up with potential Billy Crystal. It is like everyone waits all year and then we all go "Oh, right. This is what I am doing now" *wows audience*

The good news is that if your vid is in the second half, you can relax and enjoy the first half of the show. And if your vid is in the first half (you lucky dog) you can just chill out as soon as it plays. Remember: Audience reaction is wonderful, but don't put all your self esteem eggs in one basket. Actually, please don't hinge your self esteem on vidding. That makes for a very precarious existence. Even so, some vids can be over or underwhelming at the first, unexposed viewing (also the vids are all BIIIIGGG). What you are doing in the vid, familiarity with the fandom and unfamiliar music all play a role in that first reaction. Don't expect that this vid will change vidding forever, even if you supersekritly believe it should.

After the premiere show it is your time to breathe easy and enjoy the rest of the con...unless you are one of the few auction vidders (HAH!) or you did a challenge vid. Unfortunately, for you - you might be on pins and needles and overwhelmed and ready to cry about the challenge show but you can't tell anyone cause it is a secret. Embrace the loneliness and the anxiety and come to me. I have Baileys. I share. It makes coffee better.

5. So you arrive at the hotel on Thursday evening and wait! You don't know anybody! Early registration has not yet opened and no one is wearing con badges. What do you do??? This is easy: Look around the lobby. If the lobby is empty go into the Steakhouse. Do you see a group of women who look like they might be at VVC? They are. Trust me. One of them is probably jackiekjono. She is very nice and would love to meet you. Just walk up and ask when Lum is gonna open up registration.

If registration has opened, go upstairs. Look around until you see Luminosity (sockkpuppett)- she will be the nice Southern lady handing out con programs and badges. BRING HER CANDY. She probably will not eat it but she will give it to me and I like candy. Oh, also bring her Diet Mountain Dew. Several of them in fact (she actually likes mountain dew, I am not lying).

Upstairs there will be a line of fen collapsed on couches like so many fen collapsing on couches. All should be badged and don't feel strange about going up to people and peering at their names - this is how we figure out who we are! Collapse on a couch and you've found your people. Actually, everything else from this point out will just work itself out.