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A Post of Woe and then Triumph
Mar. 17th, 2006 01:59 pmSooo - I am back!! And I am making a public post about me! Onward and upward and then over to the left a little bit and all that jazz, I always say.
Here is the dealio: ten weeks ago if someone at my job had told me "Liz, you are fired" I would have been devastated but not really surprised as the previous three months seemed to be about getting the ducks in the row to let me go. I was frantic and running around and having ulcer attacks and working overtime and on call hours willy nilly and I was miserable. And then I had a meeting and was told everything was fine, it was dandy, don't worry so much - you are important to this company, here let us take you off claims for a bit so you can breathe and let us move your cubicle to a place less distracting and let us give you some support for all the initiatives you've assumed responsibility for over the last year.
I should have seen this coming. Seven weeks ago I was called into my manager's office and let go. *I* will believe from now until the end of time that I was fired because I made too much money for the position, I was unpopular with the new regional company officers (as I was the darling of the previous officers and therefore did not learn to shut my mouth when voicing the opinion that this new thing, whatever it may be, won't work and here is why) and insurance companies everywhere are laying people off in droves. Since I had five years seniority - second in my unit, I think they wanted to replace me with someone cheap or, and I just found this out last week, not at all. My position is not being replaced. Huh.
But whatever because I was so miserable there and that was not a secret. I had no business trying to force myself to do something that was making me physically ill for as long as I did.
And I learned some things: I learned that even though security is a huge thing for me - being uncertain about things, for a little while, will not kill me. It won't even stress me out as much as working claims did. I learned unemployment benefits are a Great and Wonderful thing. I got paid to sit on my ass and watch Judging Amy. Wow. I learned that I never ever never want to adjust another insurance claim under penalty of death. I learned that sticking me in a cubicle is like... taking away Angel's angst. I do not thrive in a gray box.
I also learned that it is possible for me to go out there and find a job that not only would be interesting - but that I would be compelled to do. Which I am. And I did. And I start on Monday!
YAY!
I also learned, well I knew this already, but it was reinforced: I have the best family and friends a person could ever ask for - people held my hand, helped me with resumes and cover letters, served as references and cheerleaders, sent me GAS CARDS!! and paid my registration to VVC when I had $21 in the bank!!! and fed me dinner almost every night for a month! and made sure I was taken care of when I got a really terrible cold. You guys rock muchly and hard. Thank You.
(and the new job? Social Services again - disadvantaged kids and I will have a staff!! They are putting me in charge of stuff!!! OMG!)
Here is the dealio: ten weeks ago if someone at my job had told me "Liz, you are fired" I would have been devastated but not really surprised as the previous three months seemed to be about getting the ducks in the row to let me go. I was frantic and running around and having ulcer attacks and working overtime and on call hours willy nilly and I was miserable. And then I had a meeting and was told everything was fine, it was dandy, don't worry so much - you are important to this company, here let us take you off claims for a bit so you can breathe and let us move your cubicle to a place less distracting and let us give you some support for all the initiatives you've assumed responsibility for over the last year.
I should have seen this coming. Seven weeks ago I was called into my manager's office and let go. *I* will believe from now until the end of time that I was fired because I made too much money for the position, I was unpopular with the new regional company officers (as I was the darling of the previous officers and therefore did not learn to shut my mouth when voicing the opinion that this new thing, whatever it may be, won't work and here is why) and insurance companies everywhere are laying people off in droves. Since I had five years seniority - second in my unit, I think they wanted to replace me with someone cheap or, and I just found this out last week, not at all. My position is not being replaced. Huh.
But whatever because I was so miserable there and that was not a secret. I had no business trying to force myself to do something that was making me physically ill for as long as I did.
And I learned some things: I learned that even though security is a huge thing for me - being uncertain about things, for a little while, will not kill me. It won't even stress me out as much as working claims did. I learned unemployment benefits are a Great and Wonderful thing. I got paid to sit on my ass and watch Judging Amy. Wow. I learned that I never ever never want to adjust another insurance claim under penalty of death. I learned that sticking me in a cubicle is like... taking away Angel's angst. I do not thrive in a gray box.
I also learned that it is possible for me to go out there and find a job that not only would be interesting - but that I would be compelled to do. Which I am. And I did. And I start on Monday!
YAY!
I also learned, well I knew this already, but it was reinforced: I have the best family and friends a person could ever ask for - people held my hand, helped me with resumes and cover letters, served as references and cheerleaders, sent me GAS CARDS!! and paid my registration to VVC when I had $21 in the bank!!! and fed me dinner almost every night for a month! and made sure I was taken care of when I got a really terrible cold. You guys rock muchly and hard. Thank You.
(and the new job? Social Services again - disadvantaged kids and I will have a staff!! They are putting me in charge of stuff!!! OMG!)
