They Fight Crime! And Renovate Houses!

lydiabell - whom I was already stalking because she wrote the yuletide story "Control" and dude. I *love* that story. Seriously - I love it. If that story needed a home, I'd set up the front room and I'd go to parent teacher conferences and I'd make sure to get home early every night so I could feed that story a balanced meal and I'd go broke on after-school care, for sure, but the story is worth it.

Lately I have been personifying everything as small children. We named my vid-in-progress Dewey. Does this mean my biological clock is ticking? That and I bet "Control" would want a bed shaped like a car.

But back to lydiabell - she linked me to this - http://www.black-ink.org/fightcrime.htm and it is my new favorite thing. I am so constantly amused by this and sometimes - sometimes I get one and I am "Hey, I would *watch* that."

He's an unconventional chivalrous vampire hunter on the hunt for the last specimen of a great and near-mythical creature. She's a hard-bitten winged hooker with an incredible destiny. They fight crime

He's a scrappy amnesiac househusband from the Mississippi delta. She's an artistic gypsy politician from aristocratic European stock. They fight crime

I WOULD WATCH THESE SHOWS. Now my question to you: Why isn't there anything at all on TV that I like?

And I would like to end this post with a very embarrassing admission of my own. Do you know that ABC show - "Extreme Home Makeover" where they took the dude from Trading Spaces and a buncha annoying blondes and added this sweet guy that was on another home improvement show and they go to people's homes - send them away and totally renovate the hell out of the house in a week or two? That show? Have you heard of it?

Well, I have never gotten thru a complete episode of that show without bursting into tears. Yes, I know they are manipulating me - last week I totally knew Marlee Matlin was gonna show up (can you even do a show about deaf people and not include her? I think Congress passed an act in 91 or something) but when they gave that kid the $50k scholarship I was a blubbering fool.

There you have it.

She's a hard-nosed Insurance Adjuster with a soft spot for manipulative renovation reality television from the MidSouth. He's an Invisible Man yuletide fic with a bittersweet ending she can't stop stalking. They fight crime!

Spoilers for Alias (not really, I don't even watch the show - I just miss saying I have spoilers)

Okay this one:

He's an oversexed native American farmboy on a mission from God. She's a scantily clad streetsmart traffic cop who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt. They fight crime!

Not only would I watch it - I would write fanfic for it. Hell - I might be writing a story for it right now. I've already cast Jasmine Guy as the traffic cop and named her Roxy... not that I have a cross-over thing... or a thing about oversexed Native American farmboys on missions from God...


Reading my Flist and it occurs to me that at this time yesterday I have never heard of Mena Trott and now I have read opinions rating her intellect somewhere below that of a squirrel and others stating she is a very geniune person. Wow. And it isn't like she even did anything like get engaged to Justin Timberlake or have a one night stand with Paris Hilton. I haven't become this aware of a nonCelebrity so fast since Amber Fry taped her sleazy boyfriend hitting on her from his wife's vigil service.

Actually - this is cool - she is the first nonCelebrity that has come to my attention in a personal way (as in knowing details about her personality) in the last ten years that did not do so by taping - beit audio or video - an actual celebrity of public figure. Linda Tripp, that chick that slept with Frank Gifford...Amber Fry. They all taped. Mena Trott, to my knowledge, has never published a phone conversation with a public figure and I think we need to celebrate this fact.

In other news - yesterday - after 2 years of soul searching and pondering and chest thumping - yesterday I named my LJ. Ah am so proud!

A Thought Mixed With a Tiny Gesture of Physical Affection

DUDE. For me to realize there is a wank going on right in my very own fandom, I have to have someone take my hand and lead me very gently over to fandom wank and point and say "See?" and then I might get a clue.

As it was, I did think that a lot of the posts on my Flist seemed more...centrally focused on a topic than usual. Reading up on everything now I alternate between extreme annoyance, sadness, and a general abiding empathy that is possibly good for the soul. I'd hug you all, except I am concerned now that perhaps that would be misconstrued?

Aw, Fuckit. If I met you in RL, I'd probably hug you. I'm not a huggy person, but fenhugs are different because we are to be cherished. We are very lucky to have each other. Whatever form of expression this gratitude takes it is yours and it is not to be dictated by me or by anyone. I think this is also true about whatever form of sexual expression you participate in as long as all participants are willing and legal-like. Yes - there will be people offended by this form of expression - but people are offended by everything. I am offended when "Cooking Light" tells me that replacing the full-fat mayonnaise in pimento cheese with fat-free mayo is a viable and healthful alternative. Um, no. That is disgusting.

::hugs::

As it is - this is life. Granted this is cyber-life, but you know - it pretty much correlates with the real thing. People aren't all going to like you or agree with you and some people will misunderstand you and some people will be offended by you and some people will offend you.

Oh! And sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something.

Words no less true now, than when Annie sang them.

Now if you will excuse me, I'll be over here playing with the "They Fight Crime" generator. I *still* love this thing...