Ten Years and 8 Albums and I Finally have a point...

When I start a Monday by immediately updating, it is just a bad, bad sign for the rest of the day, nay, for the rest of the week.

Today, on the way to work, Howard Stern was on one of his unending commercial breaks (damn timing getting into the car during a break!) and so I was *forced* to listen to music and I had to confront something that I have merely suspected before:

Much like Richard Ashcroft never wrote a song that did not apply to Angel (except for that one about Spiderman and that is also about how Spiderman is like Angel) and The Boo Radley's "Kingsize" album could also be called "Songs About Lex Luthor" (except for "High as Monkeys" which is all about Clark and Jor-el -- and how frustrating is it to be me and to have had a song like "Blue Room In Archway" and to have vidded it on a depressed whim to Brian and his pain. I learned an important lesson about just sitting on song until an appropriately BIG enough idea comes along to fulfill it. Because, while Brian Is Sad that His Boyfriend is Gone is fine as a vid topic - that song is bigger than that. Much much bigger - that song is about being haunted by freaking Superman and I lacked the patience to wait to learn that. I grabbed onto the first thing it could apply to and now it is gone. Vid Patience is a virtue) I have decided that the solo music of Jay Farrar is all about the Kents. They are all there - Martha, Jonathan (good god - Jonathan is all over everything) and even Clark. Well - eventually Clark. "All Your Might" is probably a dual POV thing and the line "You've been here before, now push back with all your might" is both thrilling and chilling at the same time. Well to me it is. Of course maybe I am not really all that me today.

Now, how does Son Volt figure into all of this? And really - just because I know everyone has been waiting on baited breath for the past decade wanting to know just where I actually stood on the whole Wilco versus Son Volt debate and up til now I really have not made a public stand, mainly because in my head Uncle Tupelo never broke up - and while I am the type of person who tries to see both sides - a Peacemaker - a middle child... I have to admit that Jeff Tweedy and I were never really meant to be. It is hard saying it - because that makes it real and while I will always respect Wilco and what it has achieved, which is arguably more alt-success (alternative success?? Is this even a term?) than the band deserves and certainly more critical praise - he never once wanted the wind to take my troubles away.

At least - not sincerely. Jeff is like that guy I know whose achievements I respect, but whom I just can't connect with beyond the fact that we both seem to like the same people or at least know them. I don't feel he has a vested interest in my soul. Jeff has a lot of things he wants to accomplish and saving me just didn't make the top ten. This is valid. It just fails to connect to me because I am not involved. And before it was All About Angel - It was All About Liz. And I remember seeing Wilco at an Oktoberfest waaaaaaayyyyyy back when and I thought the exact same thing, only drunkenly and possibly I was still bitter about a lot - Uncle Tupelo, Ass-Hole Chris and the Hippie-Chick making out in front of me at the Outlook Inn days after we broke up, the UK College of Arts and Sciences switching to a 12 point system thereby destroying my 4.0 GPA and all hopes I had of graduating Magna Cum Laude - whereas that same year I saw Son Volt under much improved mental conditions and yeah - I probably made up my mind and chose a side then and all these years have only been pretending to be Switzerland.

And it took the Kents to make me realize it.

Sincerity In the Ear of the Beholder (Behearer?)

This day gets better and better. So - I try to join my co-workers once or twice a week in the conference room for lunch. Kroger had SmartOnes frozen dinners on sale last week for like a buck fifty - so I had the Tuscan Chicken (4 points) for lunch. It was less than thrilling.

So it was lunch as usual - they talk about crime and church and I relate a few anecdotes about being robbed (and I have a lot of those. Once I was robbed and didn't know it for weeks - that is how poor I was) and hookerboots told me that I really was ghetto -and that is the nicest thing she has ever said to me (and I have known her for a year!) so I was practically beaming and the topic turned to bra sizes, faulty underwire, Lil' Kim, and breast reduction - all topics that I am exceedingly qualified to discuss - so I was doing well. I was fitting in with the co-workers. All was good.

Then hookerboots said "Did y'all hear that Christopher Reeve died?" and I thought she was joking and she then gave info she in no way would have known if it wasn't true and I started to cry. In public. In front of co-workers. So then I go back to my desk and my manager is there and I start to cry again and thankfully she knows pretty much everything that is going on with me and was just really really nice, but still. This is fucking embarrassing. I think it was just shock as I tend to not cry when people I freaking *know* die. At least not at *work* - geez.

Oh - now I have a nice guilt thing going where I'm kicking myself for making the death of an activist/icon/freaking-superman all about me. But it is my LJ so yeah - it would be all about me. Guilt is gone - just like that.

Cutting for more music thoughts that go waaaaaayyy into something - not morbid. Well not for me - for me this is all strangely optimistic ( Read more... )

Midnight Corrections

Damn - this actually woke me up.

Bo Duke is wrong. The cows *will* feed themselves. That is the wonderful thing about cows and pasture. They pretty much have a handle on what to do.

Now - yeah - if you have calves en masse that are not weaned and you have then away from mamma - then you have to give them bottles. I loved that when I was a kid, actually. Also - you do sometimes put out hay in the winter - depends. But cows will feed themselves.

And again. This got me out of *bed*

Watch Smallville with my father and he will eventually make a small disapproving noise and say something along the lines of "The farm really just fell apart when Jessie died, didn't it?"

See - this shit is genetic.

This post is brought to you by None of My Vid Ideas Working Out.

Also we would like to thank our sponsor: Renenet Help Me cause I am going insane with this song there is too much song oh my god what was I thinking and you have to fix this now.

Special Mention must also be given to Lum Where ARE YOU????

And now I go back to bed where I will try to not think about the fact that the Kent's cows change type from episode to episode and really and truly that is not a dairy farm and why would they forget that and try to make it one and omigod I need to vid.