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I just realized that I am replacing genre television with graphic novels/comic books. Heh, apparently I *will* have my stories - one way or the other. So my new Buffy is Ultimate Spiderman - cause look! Fighting the big bad with BANTER and PANTSING!! Also, Peter Parker is a Big Time Super Hero who gets grounded. I love that (that and the Spiderman as a mutant angle - cause... yeah). So now, along with She Hulk (cause dude - she is She Hulk) I am buying 2 Marvel titles a month. This is unheard of for me. I'm all wondering if I am growing as a person, or something. Surely the "Buying Marvel Comics for the First Time" is a recognized stage of life? Also, who is this Nick Fury person and why do I want to have his babies?
Contemplation is the name of the game today: I'm trying to decide what my next "adult" series should be: "Hellblazer" or "Transmetropolitan" -- now y'all all know me - which one would I like the most?
Comtemplation is for day, deep thoughts are for night: Last night I was standing at the microwave and I got so caught up in thinking about Bison and fences that I over-cooked my corndog and the cornbread part broke and exposed the wiener part and while I hate wasting food - you just can't eat that, y'know? ::shudders::
But I had a realization: See, most of my life, we have raised cattle on our farm. We don't raise milk cows cause that is a pain in the ass (and I love it when the writers on SV fucking get a clue and realize that in no way, shape or form is the Kent Farm a dairy farm. Dairy Farms are specially equipped. Clark does not need to go milk freaking cows unless he lives on a dairy farm because most people nowadays (even on farms) will want to buy their milk pastuerized. Except for these freaks that lived down the street from me growing up - but dude, I swear to you that the youngest kid in that brood had worms. Yech, and end rant). So anyway - we raise cattle and sell off the steers and usually keep the heifers cause they become cows and cows make more cattle. Steers (castrated male cattle) only make steak. Sorry if I am offending any vegetarians - but this is how it works. Bulls also make cattle, but you have to be *extremely* careful about your bull. Sometimes you can have 2 - depends, and I'm talking very small herd on a small family farm. But even with it being a very small herd - you *always* have problems with fences.
See, the ideal cow is very complacent and not that active. You want an old girl whose top ambition in life is to stand right *there* and eat. Maybe in the summer, she will want to stand in the pond. This is your ideal cow. Get one that is too smart and she becomes a ring-leader - stirring up trouble and taking the rest of the herd with her. Get one too stupid and she has no survival skills and will walk into a brushrow, get tangled up and break her own neck freaking out. Either way - you are gonna be fixing fences. The smart ones know that they can bust them up and the dumb ones don't even know they are there - but every cow wants to hit the graze land just behind the fence. This is always true. The trick is to have a herd that wants to get through the fence and will...aw, maybe later. Procrastinator cows will make your life easier.
So I am thinking about this and Bison cause I have always wanted to raise Bison but dudes - I know the fence work involved with cows - can you imagine what even a tiny herd of bison could accomplish?? So it has just been a teeny tiny bit of bison envy that I will feel occasionally (a buffalo twinge) over the years and then I move on.
And then I realized - if I was Bo Duke - I would so raise Bison. Think about it for just a second: What is Clark Kent's most useful talent to date? Saving people? Hell, no - he is almost 50/50 on that and most of the time the people he tries to help end up being permanently damaged or mentally scarred. No - that boy's greatest talent lies in fencing. Not the Lex Luthor kind of fencing where you get to wear a cool white bodysuit and run around poking shit at your father and/or Swedish Models. No - his talent lies in building fences. Seriously - have you seen this? Clark at work on a fence is a thing of beauty. Okay - anything he does is a thing of beauty - but even if he was ugly - his fencing would still be a joy to behold. What he does in less than 3 seconds I have struggled with for DAYYYYYSSS. If I had a little gay alien son around who could fix a fence - Hell - who could build a fence in less than a few minutes - why, I could raise bison. Hell, I bet baby bison aren't the prey to coyotes that calves can be. I bet a baby bison could kick a coyotes ass. Oh - I wanna see that animated. The Fox and the Bison. How cute.
This is why I can't cook (even in the microwave) without burning stuff.
Contemplation is the name of the game today: I'm trying to decide what my next "adult" series should be: "Hellblazer" or "Transmetropolitan" -- now y'all all know me - which one would I like the most?
Comtemplation is for day, deep thoughts are for night: Last night I was standing at the microwave and I got so caught up in thinking about Bison and fences that I over-cooked my corndog and the cornbread part broke and exposed the wiener part and while I hate wasting food - you just can't eat that, y'know? ::shudders::
But I had a realization: See, most of my life, we have raised cattle on our farm. We don't raise milk cows cause that is a pain in the ass (and I love it when the writers on SV fucking get a clue and realize that in no way, shape or form is the Kent Farm a dairy farm. Dairy Farms are specially equipped. Clark does not need to go milk freaking cows unless he lives on a dairy farm because most people nowadays (even on farms) will want to buy their milk pastuerized. Except for these freaks that lived down the street from me growing up - but dude, I swear to you that the youngest kid in that brood had worms. Yech, and end rant). So anyway - we raise cattle and sell off the steers and usually keep the heifers cause they become cows and cows make more cattle. Steers (castrated male cattle) only make steak. Sorry if I am offending any vegetarians - but this is how it works. Bulls also make cattle, but you have to be *extremely* careful about your bull. Sometimes you can have 2 - depends, and I'm talking very small herd on a small family farm. But even with it being a very small herd - you *always* have problems with fences.
See, the ideal cow is very complacent and not that active. You want an old girl whose top ambition in life is to stand right *there* and eat. Maybe in the summer, she will want to stand in the pond. This is your ideal cow. Get one that is too smart and she becomes a ring-leader - stirring up trouble and taking the rest of the herd with her. Get one too stupid and she has no survival skills and will walk into a brushrow, get tangled up and break her own neck freaking out. Either way - you are gonna be fixing fences. The smart ones know that they can bust them up and the dumb ones don't even know they are there - but every cow wants to hit the graze land just behind the fence. This is always true. The trick is to have a herd that wants to get through the fence and will...aw, maybe later. Procrastinator cows will make your life easier.
So I am thinking about this and Bison cause I have always wanted to raise Bison but dudes - I know the fence work involved with cows - can you imagine what even a tiny herd of bison could accomplish?? So it has just been a teeny tiny bit of bison envy that I will feel occasionally (a buffalo twinge) over the years and then I move on.
And then I realized - if I was Bo Duke - I would so raise Bison. Think about it for just a second: What is Clark Kent's most useful talent to date? Saving people? Hell, no - he is almost 50/50 on that and most of the time the people he tries to help end up being permanently damaged or mentally scarred. No - that boy's greatest talent lies in fencing. Not the Lex Luthor kind of fencing where you get to wear a cool white bodysuit and run around poking shit at your father and/or Swedish Models. No - his talent lies in building fences. Seriously - have you seen this? Clark at work on a fence is a thing of beauty. Okay - anything he does is a thing of beauty - but even if he was ugly - his fencing would still be a joy to behold. What he does in less than 3 seconds I have struggled with for DAYYYYYSSS. If I had a little gay alien son around who could fix a fence - Hell - who could build a fence in less than a few minutes - why, I could raise bison. Hell, I bet baby bison aren't the prey to coyotes that calves can be. I bet a baby bison could kick a coyotes ass. Oh - I wanna see that animated. The Fox and the Bison. How cute.
This is why I can't cook (even in the microwave) without burning stuff.
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