Stream of Conciousness Stress Management

I'm having these little minor, almost incidental panic attack thingies. They aren't even real panic attacks - more like my chest kind of seizes up and breathing is difficult for a bit. Actually - this might just be the asthma kicking in and possibly has nothing to do with panic at all.

I am so detatched from my own body.

Lum has been patiently talking me down via email today. She is also calmly discouraging me from making stress-induced vidding choices. Since she has kept me from pitching "Paradise" and "Would?" in just 2004 alone, I'm listening.

As a stress reducer, I decided to bid on "Ghosts Along the Mississippi" by Clarence Laughlin (photography) at ebay cause that would make everything all better. Then I noticed the seller was in Memphis and I just couldn't. Why do I always miss out on cities when I live there? It looks as if the University of Louisville has most of his work in their archives though. I wonder how one goes about looking at archives... is seems like something I should know. It seems like something I should do. Didn't the killer in Red Dragon make an appointment to look at a museams archives - see it can be done! I just need to re-read Red Dragon and follow Thomas Harris's easy steps and also remember to not use it for nefarious purposes.

I am bad at being nefarious, anyway. On me it just looks like Spaz. Well a Spaz laughing like this: "Muahahahahahaha!!" Then I can't resist and I go "One! One clap of Thunder! Two! Two Claps of Thunder!! Muahahahahaha!!"

And then I feel better cause The Count has a way to soothe me baby.