In My Easter Bonnet, With All the Frills Upon It...

So I'm getting ready to go to my Mom's house overnight and I have to find a dress that still fits and is suitably Eastery. Most of my dresses are brown or black, except for the stuff I have to wear to weddings. See, I don't know if this is a Southern thing or not - but I cannot wear black to a wedding or on Easter (unless it is black paired with another color - like Red. Red will counteract the black. In my head). I have weird issues with what to wear to church anyway. Like, I still have a hard time wearing pants in church, unless those pants are part of a suit. If it is a pants-suit then I am sure it is a-okay with Jesus as he must be as obsessed with Scully as I am, cause she is Scully (although between you and me - Jesus quit watching the series at somepoint in season 6 - possibly Agua Mala).

I just want to be sure that my clothing is respectful of Jesus - and I still feel bad that we don't wear white gloves on Easter anymore. I think he really liked that - it was all classy and if the sermon got boring you could play with your gloves and pretend you were a mime on coffee break and then you could understand a little bit about persecution. So, black on Easter is a no-no and pants are a no-go unless part of a greater picture, such as a pant suit. I could use floral patterns to counter-act the black as floral patterns generally are great evil things unless paired with black where they work like a double negative. In fact - I own such a dress. I used to feel lack of pantyhose at church was also disrespectful of Jesus, but then I moved to New Orleans and realized that Jesus isn't really all that concerned with silly little things like pantyhose when the temperature is over 100 degrees. And if he doesn't care when it is really hot - then it stands to reason that he doesn't care when the weather is fairly mild and you just want to wear open toed shoes.

I think Jesus would rather I go pantyhose less then pair them with the open-toed shoe.

So as soon as I have my Jesus-Approved outfit ready to go and you know, bathe and paint my toenails (seriously - I have a thing about having to have painted toe-nails on Easter and it is also Jesus related and if you haven't figured out by now that I have some religious issues, then perhaps I need a neon sign? Except these aren't so much *issues* as I am perfectly okay and accepting of my beliefs, one of them being that Jesus thinks I should have pink toenails on the day we celebrate his resurrection) I'll go and pick up the boy and hit the road.

Before I go - further proof that the universe and/or whatever diety you choose to believe in/worship/or look askance at likes me is here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/valereix/352420.html

valereix wrote my fantasy-fic - again. And I think it healed me. Seriously - I am breathing better already. Valerie has healed me with FIC!!!