But we got to see him in that time, experiencing something he never thought he would have - or deserve. Angel was in a family. And - yes - he was in a family a long time before Connor was born - (complete with his own little teen-age drama queen out called season 2) - he knew this - but I don't know that Angel ever really *felt* that it was real before Connor. Connor made it permanent. Connor was the link Angel needed to the family. I don't think Connor made Angel belong to the group any more than he already did, but I think that is exactly what Angel felt. Then it was gone. It has all been downhill from "Sleep Tight" - with attempts at recovery.
I, as an unabashed Angel fan, pretty much like him all the time. I like him broody, I like him wet, I like him goofy, I like him confused, I like him in pain and I like it when he winces because Cordy is ruining his clothes. But, I am touched when I see the end scene from "Provider" - He and Cordy are lying on the bed, Cordy is holding Connor's bottle and he is between them and they are talking and falling asleep as they talk and the camera pulls back and that scene just gets to me now. I see it as being very representative of how Angel feels in this time - it looks warm. That scene looks safe. It feels like it has captured that moment between sleep and awake - that really cool calm moment - and yes! That is what it looks like. I am glad that we get to see Angel have this, even if it means now he doesn't.
That is the crux of it, at least for me right now in the frame of mind I am in, that is all Angel wants and it isn't that much to ask. He's never going to get it, and if he does, well then he is never going to keep it, and we know this because, well - It Sucks to be Angel, but really - does anyone ever get it? Seriously - think about it: all you really want is to belong, right? Have the people you care about nearby and safe (and now I want to explore Firefly and Farscape with that in mind and should probably tackle heres_luck the next time I see her online) and know that is not going to change. But you won't ever get that either. At least not permanently - it will never last as long as you want it too."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2004-06-16 02:02 pm (UTC)But we got to see him in that time, experiencing something he never thought he would have - or deserve. Angel was in a family. And - yes - he was in a family a long time before Connor was born - (complete with his own little teen-age drama queen out called season 2) - he knew this - but I don't know that Angel ever really *felt* that it was real before Connor. Connor made it permanent. Connor was the link Angel needed to the family. I don't think Connor made Angel belong to the group any more than he already did, but I think that is exactly what Angel felt. Then it was gone. It has all been downhill from "Sleep Tight" - with attempts at recovery.
I, as an unabashed Angel fan, pretty much like him all the time. I like him broody, I like him wet, I like him goofy, I like him confused, I like him in pain and I like it when he winces because Cordy is ruining his clothes. But, I am touched when I see the end scene from "Provider" - He and Cordy are lying on the bed, Cordy is holding Connor's bottle and he is between them and they are talking and falling asleep as they talk and the camera pulls back and that scene just gets to me now. I see it as being very representative of how Angel feels in this time - it looks warm. That scene looks safe. It feels like it has captured that moment between sleep and awake - that really cool calm moment - and yes! That is what it looks like. I am glad that we get to see Angel have this, even if it means now he doesn't.
That is the crux of it, at least for me right now in the frame of mind I am in, that is all Angel wants and it isn't that much to ask. He's never going to get it, and if he does, well then he is never going to keep it, and we know this because, well - It Sucks to be Angel, but really - does anyone ever get it? Seriously - think about it: all you really want is to belong, right? Have the people you care about nearby and safe (and now I want to explore Firefly and Farscape with that in mind and should probably tackle heres_luck the next time I see her online) and know that is not going to change. But you won't ever get that either. At least not permanently - it will never last as long as you want it too."