(no subject)

[sisabet]

Do you ever get behind on your friends' list and when you finally catch up on a really good, insiteful post there are already a lot of comments there and for just a moment you feel very self-conscious cause you don't know these people - just the original poster - so you kind of back away and make a mental note to try to catch that person later? Anyone? Just me?

I have the good luck to have an incredible friends list comprised of extremely intelligent witty people. I highly recommend it.

Comments

[ex-devilpigl935.livejournal.com]

I actually felt that way when you offered yourself up as a houseguest. I became very excited at first -- "Here's my opportunity to drag Sisabet out to the West Coast!" But several people had commented before me, and then I started to doubt my own attractiveness as a destination. I mean, I do have the guest room, but it's become a laundry repository, and my refrigerator is generally empty (microwavable bacon notwithstanding). So I just decided to go with a dictatory tone -- "You will come out here." It was really just a mask for my insecurity. But I still want you and Dawn to come visit.

[renenet.livejournal.com]

Um, if you don't know them, then they don't know you, so they could be just as intimidated by your strangerness as you are of theirs. Only they got there first, I know, I know. But it's the original poster's sandbox, right, not theirs? And if you know that person, then presumably you've been welcomed to play in the sandbox, yes? So any random other people will just have to give way and share the buckets and shovels.

Yikes. Sandbox metaphor. Could I be any more trite? Still, I'm just sayin'...you're Sisabet. You don't need to back away from anything. If anyone tells you differently, you send them to me and I'll put them straight.

[kittyb90.livejournal.com]

I get that way, but then, I have self esteem issues so that's probably what causes my problem. Well, that and I'm kinda nutty. :D

Re:

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I like it when you get tough, though.

I have so much vacation time this year and I have never been to the West Coast, so it is definately doable. Plus, Dawn got to go see Valerie, so it is only fair that I get to come see you.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I think it is the whole strangers looking at me thing *shudder*. And I know it is not really me (at least not physically) and I know that this is an extremely public forum, but it feels somewhat secure to me because, I suppose, of the familiarity - and then there is something unfamiliar and I pull back a bit. Old insecurities rearing their collective head.

Oh, and I always like a good sandbox metaphor, keep 'em coming.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Me too!!! Dawn is rolling her eyes at me as I type - did you see my Todd Manning post at BoB - I may need professional help.

Kitty -please post always in my LJ. I *heart* you.

[kittyb90.livejournal.com]

Aw, I *heart* you, too. It's nice that we can all be a little crazy together, isn't it? :)

[renenet.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I was at a party at a coworker's house last night and I knew about half of the people there. I didn't want to cling too tightly to any one individual that I already knew, so I just kept rotating them. When I'd gotten through all of the people I could maneuver that with, I left. All it would have taken was for one of the unfamiliar individuals or groups to look like they were open to conversing with me and I would have been willing to give it a go (I did speak at some length with one new person and nearly had her describing the exact layout of her fabric-dyeing studio space), but I swear half of them didn't even acknowledge my eye-contact-smile-while-we're-both-at-the-drinks-table thing. The whole experience was exactly what you describe: the public forum that feels somewhat secure because of the familiarity of knowing the hostess and many guests but makes me pull back because of the unfamiliarity of the strangers talking among themselves and, most threateningly, to *my* people, the ones *I* know! But it wasn't that interesting a crowd, anyway. Blather, blather on. I'll stop now. Oh, sandbox metaphor...um, let's see...I ate shovels-full of hors d'oeuvres and drank buckets of mulled cider.

[heresluck]

...there are already a lot of comments there and for just a moment you feel very self-conscious cause you don't know these people...

Every now and then this happens to me in my own LJ. Very disconcerting. So yes, I know exactly what you mean.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Dude! I was so talking about your LJ, too. Hee - I read your first post about feedback and I did not have time to comment and when I did there was this whole discussion going on with people from the vidder's list and since I'm too intimidated to post there, I couldn't post on your LJ and it freaked me out a bit. It has happened before, but your LJ was the one that prompted that post.

I was gonna say that I did get a lot of feedback re: "Closer" but most of it was the one or two line variety -- which is really great -I'm not complaining -- but still you long for more substantial comments. We talked about this before - responding to an email that says "I like you vid" with "Why? - please give me specifics - and were there parts that did not work for you?" I think "Closer" struck a nerve and I still haven't figured out why...maybe the lack of BtVS/AtS slash vids available on the web?

[heresluck]

...there was this whole discussion going on with people from the vidder's list...

I know! Where did these people come from? How did they find me? Not that I mind -- it was just that I checked my e-mail and suddenly there were half a dozen posts from people I didn't even know, and they were having a conversation with each other rather than with me. It was the weirdest thing.

I think "Closer" struck a nerve and I still haven't figured out why...maybe the lack of BtVS/AtS slash vids available on the web?

Well, I think that's a big part of it, sure. I mean, think about all the slash fans out there reading and writing fic. But fic is much easier for slashers, because you can imagine all sorts of stuff that you'd never see on TV. Vids are by definition only what you see on the TV, so it's much harder to suggest, for example, Angel fucking Spike like an animal (although we can see plenty of het couples getting it on), because we actually don't see them together onscreen all that often. That's something that makes A/S much more difficult than, for example, whoever those guys on Highlander are, because the HL guys share a lot more screentime.

So "Closer" has a lot going for it. It's a really amazing vid, for starters -- it's got layers and thematics and parallels rather than just "ooo, hot half-naked guys!" It's a slash vid for a particular pairing that has a lot of slash fans. And it's a slash vid in a different fandom than a lot of other slash vids -- I got the impression (although I could be wrong) that a lot of people watched that vid who don't normally watch BtVS/AtS vids.

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

I got the impression (although I could be wrong) that a lot of people watched that vid who don't normally watch BtVS/AtS vids.

I think so too, and it kills me when I get an email calling it the "best vid ever" or some other such nonsense. I'm not being modest - "Closer" is a good vid, but it is by no means the quality (tech or otherwise) of other fandom vids that aren't in such an available medium as the web- I have a lot to learn, obviously, about vidding and it was the best effort I could have made. But it was weird to see your LJ in a debate about web videos and tape videos and feedback - I do not doubt that I got tons more feedback on Closer just because of it's availabilty, not its quality. That is kinda sad.

[renenet.livejournal.com]

Dude! I was so talking about your LJ, too.

Yay, Sisbaet! This was clear to me as soon as you posted. ;) Because I, too, had the "Wow, the big kids came over to play!" reaction. And the post deserved to spark exchange like that. (I heart h.l's keen mind.) So it all made me smile and smile and, um, not have anything substantial to add at that particular moment. Sitting back and enjoying others' conversations is a fine thing, though.

[heresluck]

it kills me when I get an email calling it the "best vid ever" or some other such nonsense.

I know -- it's frustrating to not be able to take a genuine compliment just because we know the person saying it doesn't really have enough information to make that claim.

I do not doubt that I got tons more feedback on Closer just because of it's availabilty, not its quality. That is kinda sad.

Well, yes and no. A lot of tape-only people seem to not want their vids online because seeing vids on the computer screen is simply not as good as seeing them on a real TV, and I get that, but I think it's a tradeoff. If they don't post stuff online they're just not likely to get the same amount of response. I feel bad about that, absolutely, but I'm also a bit irked when someone gets huffy about it.

I'm not a big fan of vids on tape, myself. I didn't even order the VividCon tape. There were just too many vids I knew I wasn't going to want to watch again, either because I didn't care about the fandom at all or because I just didn't like the vid (or both). DVD, on the other hand, I would do in a heartbeat, so I could skip tracks I didn't want to see.