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Shady's Back, Tell a Friend
My life without LJ is empty and meaningless except for all the stuff I am have been involved with and the deeply fulfilling work I do everyday. But other than that? Days without sunshine. Of course - I sometimes like days without sunshine.
Hello, my name is Liz and I am an LJ Addict. I sit down at my computer and click on my friendslist and begin a joyless surfing experience where I endlessly scroll and read and scroll and read and suddenly realize that hours have past and I have done nothing with my life. And then I repeat this the next time I sit down. And it isn't LJ's fault - it is mine. I am conditioned from an early age to read *everything* that is put in front of me. Hand me a bottle of shampoo. I will be compelled to flip it over and read the entire back. This includes the directions in French (which I don't speak) and the ingredients list. My friendslist somehow turned into an endless bottle of shampoo and I was trapped in there, reading the french and just waiting for something to change.
And HAH! My life did change and suddenly I couldn't handle the time dump because I had no time and so I had to back away. But I missed LJ and I missed posting fiercely and everytime I tried to come back I'd again lose precious precious hours clicking away like a cocaine addicted rhesus monkey bar pressing for a fix. I cannot be trusted to use filters, either. Part of my problem is the obsessive need to read everything in the line up and if I use a filter, I will know that there is more out there I could be reading and I am not and that is cheating (and I never once said I was rational. Ever.)
I need to post. I like posting. I like participating in fandoms and vid meta and OMGRODNEY!!! and I like reading my friendslist. I just also like leaving the house, meeting people, going to work and using my body in such a way that I will not die of heart disease before I am forty. So I decided to cut my flist by a third. Eventually I will probably have to cut again. And it was hard because I was cutting people I really like (someone actually had to tell me that if I defriended my mother that would be tacky, but for a second there mom was almost off the list cause I was on a roll) but it had to be done and I had to be ruthless otherwise I'd be all...you know - not here.
So, that is what is up. As always - friend, defriend, mock or ignore this LJ. I really don't care. Seriously - I. Don't. Care. If I've learned nothing this year other than the ability to fucking get a grip on my priorities, than I've been a successful adult. And your friendslist? NOT A PRIORITY. Me friending you? Not that big a deal. You friending me? Again - not a big deal. The state of foster care and older child adoption in this country? A big fucking deal. See how this works?
ALSO OMG VIVIDCON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello, my name is Liz and I am an LJ Addict. I sit down at my computer and click on my friendslist and begin a joyless surfing experience where I endlessly scroll and read and scroll and read and suddenly realize that hours have past and I have done nothing with my life. And then I repeat this the next time I sit down. And it isn't LJ's fault - it is mine. I am conditioned from an early age to read *everything* that is put in front of me. Hand me a bottle of shampoo. I will be compelled to flip it over and read the entire back. This includes the directions in French (which I don't speak) and the ingredients list. My friendslist somehow turned into an endless bottle of shampoo and I was trapped in there, reading the french and just waiting for something to change.
And HAH! My life did change and suddenly I couldn't handle the time dump because I had no time and so I had to back away. But I missed LJ and I missed posting fiercely and everytime I tried to come back I'd again lose precious precious hours clicking away like a cocaine addicted rhesus monkey bar pressing for a fix. I cannot be trusted to use filters, either. Part of my problem is the obsessive need to read everything in the line up and if I use a filter, I will know that there is more out there I could be reading and I am not and that is cheating (and I never once said I was rational. Ever.)
I need to post. I like posting. I like participating in fandoms and vid meta and OMGRODNEY!!! and I like reading my friendslist. I just also like leaving the house, meeting people, going to work and using my body in such a way that I will not die of heart disease before I am forty. So I decided to cut my flist by a third. Eventually I will probably have to cut again. And it was hard because I was cutting people I really like (someone actually had to tell me that if I defriended my mother that would be tacky, but for a second there mom was almost off the list cause I was on a roll) but it had to be done and I had to be ruthless otherwise I'd be all...you know - not here.
So, that is what is up. As always - friend, defriend, mock or ignore this LJ. I really don't care. Seriously - I. Don't. Care. If I've learned nothing this year other than the ability to fucking get a grip on my priorities, than I've been a successful adult. And your friendslist? NOT A PRIORITY. Me friending you? Not that big a deal. You friending me? Again - not a big deal. The state of foster care and older child adoption in this country? A big fucking deal. See how this works?
ALSO OMG VIVIDCON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hmmm... I know a person who has been suffering (??) from the same symptom. And, no, it's not my evil twin, HA!
This includes the directions in French (which I don't speak) and the ingredients list.
Too funny!!! Btw, why French? I wonder...
You've been on my flist for a long time, even tho you haven't friended me back, which is really not a big deal. Like you said, there are more important things in this 'verse we need to be concerned about.
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Turns out the deeply fulfilling part was scarily easy to add. I just had to stop worrying and thinking about me. Turns out I don't like being the center of my attention. I like being the center of everyone else's attention, sure. Just - all that much focus by me about me makes me a bundle of nerves. Fuck introspection.
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Again - Blame Canada.
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Yay! VVC!!
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I have *exactly* that same compulsion. I actually shower in the dark now (well, okay, I turn on my dark blue lava lamp (no, really) so that I won't bang my head or other, more sensitive bits on stuff) so that I can't obsessively read everything around me (shampoo bottles, conditioner, shaving cream, face wash, soap, dude, I use a lot of products in the shower). It actually gets me out of the shower about ten minutes faster. So I get where you're coming from on that. A couple of months ago I got behind on LJ and, because of my need to read everything, I just stopped reading it entirely. *flail*
And I also did a mass unfriending about a week ago and I got on such a roll that I almost defriended my best friend and future roommate. That might have made for some tension in the new apartment, heh.
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And can we add "the state of child care for older kids with special needs" to the list of things that matter? Because there is nuthin'.
*adds own work-related social welfare hobbyhorse*
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Happy vidding.
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Why join a 12-step program, when it can be like ripping off a bandaid?
A friend of mine only has dial-up at home, so she's not tempted to while away too many hours on LJ. I'm not sure I could do that, but I've found other ways to deal with my addiction. Recently, I was offline because of a camping trip and then I was sidelined by not having a functioning computer. Which is all good -- much as I adore LJ, it's important to have a life offline ;-)
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Anyway, that said, it is nice to see you pop up again and OMG VVC!!!11!!
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Meantime, if you have to defriend my LJ, that's okay. I know you still care. (:
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(And OMG, Canadian Shampoo French! Yes, I understand!)
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Joins you with an OMG VIVIDCON. I can't wait to meet all my favorite vidders (that'd be you btw).
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