I've watched Golden Years about 20 times since you sent it to me.
It is the song - there is just something so hypnotic about the ticking rhythm, time is passing but you have all the time in the world. It is really appropriate actually in fitting in the song's overall theme. So, you know, that fits Angel and Spike (and also? Duncan and Methos and friends) and oh! You should totally remake it as an Old Dude vid! I'd love that.
I'm not as isolated at work as my pity party up there makes it sound. It was just a surreal thing because just before she said that (that I am always cheerful) I was in the office alone with another co-worker who is just - her life is terribly painful right now, and she was crying and I was being supportive and yet here I was at this picnic and I am still upset and I know that I am upset about this, yet I was smiling and making small talk and didn't even realize it.
I kinda feel like a phoney. Like I know I do a lot of juggling to fit in and I *can* fit in, I have that option, it just isn't that satisfying in the long run. It's easier, but in a really hollow way.
I'm not trying to be fake - and if anyone at work asks me to do anything, I will bend over backwards to help them or talk to them or just be there -- but I won't return the favor.
And the carwash thing has just ruined my day. I am chalking this up to a loss cause I just don't know what else to do about it. I can sit here and beat myself up over it and try to direct my anger at the cashier, who is a bitch to be sure, but in the end it is still my fault. So I have to do something soon to make it up to the universe.
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It is the song - there is just something so hypnotic about the ticking rhythm, time is passing but you have all the time in the world. It is really appropriate actually in fitting in the song's overall theme. So, you know, that fits Angel and Spike (and also? Duncan and Methos and friends) and oh! You should totally remake it as an Old Dude vid! I'd love that.
I'm not as isolated at work as my pity party up there makes it sound. It was just a surreal thing because just before she said that (that I am always cheerful) I was in the office alone with another co-worker who is just - her life is terribly painful right now, and she was crying and I was being supportive and yet here I was at this picnic and I am still upset and I know that I am upset about this, yet I was smiling and making small talk and didn't even realize it.
I kinda feel like a phoney. Like I know I do a lot of juggling to fit in and I *can* fit in, I have that option, it just isn't that satisfying in the long run. It's easier, but in a really hollow way.
I'm not trying to be fake - and if anyone at work asks me to do anything, I will bend over backwards to help them or talk to them or just be there -- but I won't return the favor.
And the carwash thing has just ruined my day. I am chalking this up to a loss cause I just don't know what else to do about it. I can sit here and beat myself up over it and try to direct my anger at the cashier, who is a bitch to be sure, but in the end it is still my fault. So I have to do something soon to make it up to the universe.