Brian Kinney: This Is My Life part 1/?

[sisabet]

valereix reviews "Bang, Bang You're Dead" with screencaps and I think I hurt myself.

Oh, and back to Andrew, how bad can your life be when you have Final
Cut Pro? My parents would've never bought me software that
expensive. Bitch, you have it made. Shut up.


Which makes me think of Brian and the fact that he gets to sit in his office and play with FCP all fucking day and how I want his life. Well, you know - until he got caught fucking the intern and sabataging a client's campaign and was fired. But I want everything right up and until that point. I'll even go bowling.

Darien bowls. I could work this - make it panfandom.

The "Give Brian Kinney Your Life - Mary Sue Challenge" - (where did this originate? I have no brain function today) - I think I should do this.

Cutting for the incredible Pathos

Brian Kinney woke up. He had been dreaming a fabulous dream about how he was God's Gift to Gay PA. He was a successful advertising executive, lived in an incredible loft, had a teenage artist boyfriend who let him sleep around and also - he was fucking hot and had a pair of leather pants.

Now he realized that was just a dream and in actuality he was an insurance adjuster who lived in a dirty apartment, because he keeps buying DVD sets instead of a vacuum cleaner. He also realized that his dog was taking up most of the bed and covers and also pillows. Brian cracked his neck and got out of bed only because the coffee lived in the kitchen.

Later that morning, Brian pulled up to the office building that looked just like all the other office buildings and sneezed. He missed his dream where he was not allergic to bluegrass. He also missed the part where he didn't live in Kentucky. And wear Jones New York suits with Nine West shoes that blister. He did really, really like his Buick Regal. "Damn," he thought, "This is one bad-ass mutha-fucking car! And I got the supercharged engine! It is like a Lesabre, only in a body style several hundred pounds lighter. If I ever snapped, it would take the police a good while before they could catch me." This was something he thought every morning - which is probably better than wondering why he was going to work wearing drag. And pearls.

Brian grabbed his laptop out of the backseat, forgot his cell phone and struggled across the parking lot, only walking into two car side mirrors along the way, a new personal best. Once in the office, he waves quickly to the receptionist, who laughs at him because he is, as usual, almost thirty minutes late. He sneaks in the side door through the breakroom and makes it to his cubicle undetected.

His cubicle that was empty last night and now contains a yellow post-it note saying "Come See Me When You Get Here" and signed by his boss.


What will happen when Brian meets with his boss? What will he have for lunch: A Lean Cuisine or McDonald's? How will he deal with the obnoxious client who feels that the car she rear-ended is actually at fault? Will he ever meet Justin? Where the fuck is Justin?? All this and More on the Next Episode of "Brian Kinney: This Is My Life"!!!