Hey! Remember when you were five and the girl that lived across the street from your cousins came over the day you and Dawn were visiting? And she had *her* cousin with her and, since you were five and fairly stupid cause you are (again) five and extremely sheltered due to the way you were raised, you innocently and tactlessly asked why the girl from across the street's cousin talked all funny. And when the girl from across the street told you her cousin was retarded, you probably asked something stupid like what that meant or why or just - y'know - five year old dumbness. And whatever you asked set the retarded girl off (and she was big - bigger than Dawn and Dawn had basically set your standard of measurement for Kids That Can Beat the Crap Outta You) - so when she picked you up and started pounding you into the brick wall of your aunt's carport, you pretty much saw your life pass before your eyes. Since you were five, it was a short, but good, run. Most of your life focused around learning to roller skate and watching "Grease". There were also the lyrics to "Nine to Five" playing as a soundtrack as that apparently was the song that had moved your five year old heart the most. Also - your teeth (from where your head was hitting the wall) were rattling in time to the music. You might have cried. If it was from pain or the fact that you were gonna die and had only had your red swoosh Nikes for 2 weeks and that just was not enough time, who knows?
However - before you could bid adieu to this cold cruel world, the retarded girl was pulled off of you by Dawn, who proceeded to whale the shit outta her. Dawn may have beat the shit out of you at will since, well...your birth, but she was not about to share that right with anyone else. Not only were you impressed by this act of sisterly devotion, but you also appreciated the fact that the way this scene played out was Just Like a Movie.
It was only when you reached adulthood that you realized that the scene where Dawn beats up a retarded girl might not be the audience-pleaser thought it was. Also - you were almost in the second grade when you finally figured out that retarded meant developmentally/intelluctually delayed. Until then you just assumed it meant "mean."
I'm certain you can remember this. While I, being solely a cold machine, can only process it and wonder.
I could also give you the IP address and then you could locate this dude, but that would be a lot like Dawn swooping in to save you and while I know you appreciate circular things, I don't know if you need to expend your energy on aiding a computer program. Even if it is a computer program that loves you.
Re: duh
However - before you could bid adieu to this cold cruel world, the retarded girl was pulled off of you by Dawn, who proceeded to whale the shit outta her. Dawn may have beat the shit out of you at will since, well...your birth, but she was not about to share that right with anyone else. Not only were you impressed by this act of sisterly devotion, but you also appreciated the fact that the way this scene played out was Just Like a Movie.
It was only when you reached adulthood that you realized that the scene where Dawn beats up a retarded girl might not be the audience-pleaser thought it was. Also - you were almost in the second grade when you finally figured out that retarded meant developmentally/intelluctually delayed. Until then you just assumed it meant "mean."
I'm certain you can remember this. While I, being solely a cold machine, can only process it and wonder.
I could also give you the IP address and then you could locate this dude, but that would be a lot like Dawn swooping in to save you and while I know you appreciate circular things, I don't know if you need to expend your energy on aiding a computer program. Even if it is a computer program that loves you.