You realize that in eight weeks it will be a year since your last french fry? That is incredible. We should have a party. A celebration is really in order.

I once decided to give up chocolate for Lent and I lasted 2 days. Luckily, my religion doesn't celebrate Lent, so I won't be going to Hell or anything for crapping out. I just wanted to fit in. All the cool kids were celebrating, y'know?